Being At Your Best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst

A practical, meditative approach that can be used in the moment to help you stay calm and balanced when your child's behavior is pushing you to your limit--by the popular author of Simplicity Parenting. When children are at their most difficult and challenging situations arise, how can we react in a way that reflects our family values and expectations? Often, when children “push our buttons,” we find ourselves reacting in ways that are far from our principles, often further inflaming a situation. When our children are at their worst, they need us to be at our best—or as close to it as we can be. Educator and family counselor Kim John Payne, author of Simplicity Parenting, offers techniques that simply and directly shift these damaging patterns in communication and parental behavior. These grounded and practical strategies will help you: • Slow down the interaction • Be more in control of your reactions • Open up a much wider range of helpful responses • Sense what your child’s deeper needs are even though they are misbehaving • Respond in a way that gives your child a feeling of being heard and still puts a boundary in place Payne’s meditative approach can be done anywhere, anytime; it lifts you out of old, unwanted patterns of action-reaction and prepares you so that the voice you speak with is closer to the parent you want to be. His concrete and simple techniques can help you, and your children, be at your best, even in the most challenging of times.

Today’s busier, faster society is waging an undeclared war on childhood. With too much stuff, too many choices, and too little time, children can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems. Now internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne helps parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their attention to deepen and their individuality to flourish. Simplicity Parenting offers inspiration, ideas, and a blueprint for change: • Streamline your home environment. Reduce the amount of toys, books, and clutter—as well as the lights, sounds, and general sensory overload. • Establish rhythms and rituals. Discover ways to ease daily tensions, create battle-free mealtimes and bedtimes, and tell if your child is overwhelmed. • Schedule a break in the schedule. Establish intervals of calm and connection in your child’s daily torrent of constant doing. • Scale back on media and parental involvement. Manage your children’s “screen time” to limit the endless deluge of information and stimulation. A manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood, Simplicity Parenting is an eloquent guide to bringing new rhythms to bear on the lifelong art of raising children.

In this groundbreaking book, parenting expert and acclaimed author of the bestselling book Simplicity Parenting Kim John Payne, M.Ed., flips the script on children’s challenging or defiant behavior and lays out an elegantly simple plan to support parents in establishing loving, age-sensitive boundaries that help children feel safe and settled. In short: What looks like misbehavior is actually your children’s signal that they’re feeling lost, that they are trying to find direction and looking to you to guide them back on course. Payne gives parents heartwarming help and encouragement by combining astute observations with sensitive and often funny stories from his long career as a parent educator and a school and family counselor. In accessible language, he explains the relevance of current brain- and child-development studies to day-to-day parenting. Breaking the continuum of childhood into three stages, Payne says that parents need to play three different roles, each corresponding to one of those stages, to help steer children through their emotional growth and inevitable challenging times: • The Governor, who is comfortably and firmly in charge—setting limits and making decisions for the early years up to around the age of eight • The Gardener, who watches for emotional growth and makes decisions based on careful listening, assisting tweens in making plans that take the whole family’s needs into account • The Guide, who is both a sounding board and moral compass for emerging adults, helping teens build a sense of their life’s direction as a way to influence healthy decision making Practical and rooted in common sense, The Soul of Discipline gives parents permission to be warm and nurturing but also calm and firm (not overreactive). It gives clear, doable strategies to get things back on track for parents who sense that their children’s behavior has fallen into a troubling pattern. And best of all, it provides healthy direction to the entire family so parents can spend less time and energy on outmoded, punitive discipline and more on connecting with and enjoying their kids. Advance praise for The Soul of Discipline “The Soul of Discipline offers practical tools for helping parents implement discipline that’s respectful and effective, but the book is so much more. Kim John Payne offers a framework to guide parents in making decisions about why, when, and how to hold tighter reins as we build skills in our children, and why, when, and how to loosen the reins as we scaffold freedom.”—Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., co-author of No-Drama Discipline “This book gets deep inside the challenge of getting along with children and teens and thinks deeply about what they need from us to become strong and self-managing. It elevates discipline to what it should be—a caring process of helping kids orient to the world and live in it happily and well.”—Steve Biddulph, author of The New Manhood “Kim Payne provides a useful model for choosing our parenting stance—Governor, Gardener, or Guide—depending on the situation. Most powerfully, Payne begins with the radical view that children are not disobedient but rather disoriented. The upshot of this shift in perspective is that discipline is about helping children orient themselves effectively, not about controlling or chastising.”—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of Playful Parenting

Grace Based Discipline helps parents learn to handle difficult behavior and discipline problems with their children within the context of a biblical, grace-based home. Discipline...decoded- It's time for real talk. Being at your best when your kids are at their worst requires parenting your kids the way God parents you...and that's with grace. But, in the trenches of everyday life, that's easier said than done. This book provides a doable framework what decodes the mysteries of disciplining your kids with grace and will help restore hope, freedom, and peace in your home.Grace Based Discipline will help you: -Customize your discipline strategy to your unique kids-Determine what your rules should be-Base your family's values and expectations on God's Word-Discern what types of violations are most serious, which battles to fight, and how to respond to unwanted behavior-Become an expert in choosing and applying effective consequences

Women who opt not to be mothers are frequently warned that they will regret their decision later in life, yet we rarely talk about the possibility that the opposite might also be true—that women who have children might regret it. Drawing on years of research interviewing women from a variety of socioeconomic, educational, and professional backgrounds, sociologist Orna Donath treats regret as a feminist issue: as regret marks the road not taken, we need to consider whether alternative paths for women currently are blocked off. She asks that we pay attention to what is forbidden by rules governing motherhood, time, and emotion, including the cultural assumption that motherhood is a “natural” role for women—for the sake of all women, not just those who regret becoming mothers. If we are disturbed by the idea that a woman might regret becoming a mother, Donath says, our response should not be to silence and shame these women; rather, we need to ask honest and difficult questions about how society pushes women into motherhood and why those who reconsider it are still seen as a danger to the status quo. Groundbreaking, thoughtful, and provocative, this is an especially needed book in our current political climate, as women's reproductive rights continue to be at the forefront of national debates.

A modern parenting classic—a guide to a new and gentle way of understanding the care and nurture of infants, by the internationally renowned childcare expert, podcaster, and author of No Bad Kids “An absolute go-to for all parents, therapists, anyone who works with, is, or knows parents of young children.”—Wendy Denham, PhD A Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE) teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, Janet Lansbury helps parents look at the world through the eyes of their infants and relate to them as whole people who have natural abilities to learn without being taught. Once we are able to view our children in this light, even the most common daily parenting experiences become stimulating opportunities to learn, discover, and connect with our child. A collection of the most-read articles from Janet’s popular and long-running blog, Elevating Child Care focuses on common infant issues, including: • Nourishing our babies’ healthy eating habits • Calming your clingy, fearful child • How to build your child’s focus and attention span • Developing routines that promote restful sleep Eschewing the quick-fix tips and tricks of popular parenting culture, Lansbury’s gentle, insightful guidance lays the foundation for a closer, more fulfilling parent-child relationship, and children who grow up to be authentic, confident, successful adults.

Discover a parenting style that nurtures a healthy family and displaces fear as a motivator for behavior. Learn how to meet your child's three driving inner needs for security, significance and strength with the invaluable gifts of love, purpose and hope. Modern parents are stressed out and tired. They’ve tried countless parenting books on the market, many of which are harsh, fear-based books that loving parents instinctively reject. As Christians, we frequently believe that the battle for a child's heart and soul is fought on the outside with rigid rules and boundaries, when in fact the opposite is true. Dr. Tim Kimmel, founder of Family Matters ministries, offers a timeless look at parenting. Rejecting rigidity and checklists that don't work, Dr. Kimmel recommends a parenting style that is the opposite, emphasizing the importance of communicating the unconditional love that Christ offers and affirming this timeless message of grace to one's family. In Grace-Based Parenting, you’ll learn: A parenting style that mirrors God's love, reflects His forgiveness, and displaces fear as a motivator Why fear-based parenting is a guaranteed method to set children up for failure How to provide a safe space for children to develop into functional adults with purpose, security, and inner strength As we embrace the grace God offers, we begin to give it—creating a solid foundation for growing morally strong and spiritually motivated children. This revolutionary book presents a whole new way to nurture your family.

Shefali Tsabary's invaluable book shows how the challenges of parenting can become a great opportunity for spiritual awakening.