Breaking The Mother Son Dynamic

Therapists and the general public are familiar with the terms "(s)mothering," "helicopter moms," and "boomerang sons" because they have been popularized in films like Monster in Law, Cyrus and Failure to Launch—but what makes for humorous fodder onscreen depicts a troubling issue that's being played out for real in therapists' offices, bedrooms, and divorce courts across the nation: an epidemic of men who are enmeshed in unhealthy, energy-sucking, and emasculating relationships with their mothers. Even though these men are grown and living away from Mom, her influence has left them unable to fully commit or to fully love, and they are plagued with anger issues, indecisiveness, depression, or toxic stress. In Breaking the Mother-Son Dynamic, John Lee takes an eye-opening look at how a mother's love or lack thereof impacts a son's life choices and life partner or lovers. Perhaps you are one of these men (or maybe you recognize these behaviors in the man you love). Do you hold back, swallow, or bottle up things you wish you could say to your mother for fear it would upset or "kill" her? Did you grow up hearing negative things about men, masculinity, being a male, and how you shouldn't be like 'the rest of them'? Does your mother, or did she, fail to respect your boundaries as a child, adolescent, or adult? Does your mother keep referring to you as her "baby" or her "little boy" even after you became an adult? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be caught in an unhealthy mother-son dynamic that is negatively affecting key areas of your life. Several years ago, John Lee wrote what came to be the most authoritative book on why men run from relationships, The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man. Here, he visits the mother-son relationship and gently but assertively shows men how to separate from the mother energy that has a massive pull on their hearts and souls, no matter how young or old they may be. In a work that is a combination of memoir, self-help psychology, recovery and personal growth, he discovers: why a relationship of 50-50 responsibility doesn't work, and what does work; how men can stop "sonning" mothers, lovers, and wives; why one must learn his or her own "rhythm of closeness"; how to be really present to those we love and to life itself; and much, much more. Using case studies, personal stories, and assessments, the book helps men release any anger and grief toward their mothers and teaches them how to take responsibility for their adult selves; most importantly, Lee provides an understanding of what healthy adults should—and shouldn't—expect from each other. Lee shows wives and girlfriends how to stop being their man's surrogate mother and shows well-meaning mothers how certain behaviors may perpetuate an unhealthy cycle and how to better relate to their sons in healthier ways. By helping mothers and sons identify this dynamic and providing them with the tools to dismantle it, this book will change lives. For anyone who is ready to make a clean, clear, and guilt-free separation from the kind of (s)mothering and "sonning" that just hasn't worked, John Lee will show them the way.

The way we were mothered--or not mothered--imprints us with patterns. These patterns have tremendous impact on us as lovers, partners, and parents, and have the power to create or destroy our bodies, minds, and relationships. Only by becoming aware of this dynamic in ourselves and in those we love can we release ourselves from their influences.

When a Woman Is in an Emotional Tug-of-War for Her Man's Heart Why can't he commit? Many women find themselves asking this question when in love with a man who won't get married, won't stop womanizing, or refuses to give up his sex addictions. Often this kind of man is bound by an unhealthy attachment to his mother. This phenomenon is called "mother-son enmeshment." In When He's Married to Mom, clinical psychologist and renowned intimacy expert Dr. Kenneth M. Adams goes beyond the stereotypes of momma's boys and meddling mothers to explain how mother-son enmeshment affects everyone: the mother, the son, and the woman who loves him. In his twenty-five years of practice, Dr. Adams has successfully treated hundreds of enmeshed men and shares their stories in this informative guide. He provides proven methods to make things better, including: -- Guidelines to help women create fulfilling relationships with mother-enmeshed men -- Tools to help mother-enmeshed men have healthy and successful dating experiences leading to serious relationships and marriage -- Strategies to help parents avoid enmeshing their children When He's Married to Mom provides practical and compassionate advice to the women who are involved with mother-enmeshed men, to the mothers who wish to set them free, and to the men themselves.

From Dr. Patricia Love, a ground-breaking work that identifies, explores and treats the harmful effects that emotionally and psychologically invasive parents have on their children, and provides a program for overcoming the chronic problems that can result.

A record of one man's journey to find his "true masculinity" and his way out of co-dependent and addictive relationships. It's a book for all men and women who grew up in dysfunctional families and are now ready for some fresh insights into their past and their pain. It's a story about feelings - losing them, finding them and finally expressing them. Here you will find people you know; will discover a way out of the pain and see that it really is OK to express yourself without fear. The book is about grieving, a very misunderstood process often confused with self-pity. Open the doors to understanding - men will understand themselves and each other, and women will more deeply understand men, learn how to be with wounded men and still take care of themselves.

From the New York Times best-selling author of Love & Respect comes the definitive book for mothers and sons. Love is important, but it is respect that is the key to your son’s heart. Dads and their boys are often best buddies. But what's the key to a successful and healthy mother-son bond? Informed by relevant scripture and up-to-date psychological research, Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D., explores this foundational relationship to show how loving and respecting your little boy can help him grow into a mature, responsible, and godly man. The idea of moms respecting their sons may sound strange to some. It's easy to recognize that little girls need dad’s love, but who is strongly promoting the truth that little boys (and big ones) need mom's respect? In Mothers & Sons: The Respect Effect, readers will discover: Why respect matters in a mother-son relationship A method based on the testimonies of thousands of mothers Specific responses that can be given instead of how you would “normally” respond Practical applications, especially for parenting teen boys Just as Emerson Eggerichs transformed millions of marital relationships with a biblical understanding of love and respect, you can apply these same principles to transform your relationship with your son. Mother & Son is also available in Spanish, Madre e hijo.

A resource for daughters of mothers with narcissistic personality disorder explains how to manage feelings of inadequacy and abandonment in the face of inappropriate maternal expectations and conditional love, in a step-by-step guide that shares recommendations for creating a personalized program for self-protection and recovery. 50,000 first printing.

The mother/son relationship is defined by powerful cultural myths. On the one hand it is idealized: the bond between mother and son is exalted as the purest and most fulfilling in a women's life and an unquestioning source of love in a man's life. On the other hand it is vilified. Mother love is portrayed as stifling, limiting or even castrating. Mothers are blamed for flaws in their son's personalities and for any sexual orientation which is not strictly heterosexual. This study attempts to reveal the truth behind these myths and lifts the lid on decades of uneasy family relationships.