Death By Smoothie

Freelance writer and long‑time Ben & Jerry’s addict Jaine Austen uncovers murderers on the mean streets of Beverly Hills, with a little help from her snarky cat, Prozac, in this witty mystery series from acclaimed TV comedy writer and novelist Laura Levine—a lighthearted treat for cat cozy fans and readers of Joanne Fluke, Miranda James, and Laura Childs. The Bewitched knockoff I Married a Zombie may have flopped in its day, but it’s got a devoted cult following. Jaine is delighted when one of those rabid fans hires her as script doctor for his new play based on the show—until she reads the awful script and meets Misty, the actress who’ll be playing Cryptessa’s role. Misty has Audrey Hepburn’s doe eyes but not a smidgen of her ability. Yet she can certainly act the diva, demanding a special smoothie every day at 3pm. Meanwhile, Jaine is grappling with another spoiled female—her uncooperative cat, Prozac, who’s refusing to be wrangled into a kitty harness for outside walks. When someone spikes Misty’s signature drink with a fatal shot of rat poison, the cast of suspects extends far beyond the theater. What Misty lacked in talent she made up for in enemies. Everyone Jaine talks to maintains their innocence, but one of them is clearly only playing the part. And it’s up to Jaine to figure out who, before a killer schedules an encore performance . . .

Wordsmith Jaine Austen’s ship has finally come in. Her new teaching gig on a fancy cruise line nabs her a free vacation—and access to a 24-hour buffet! But sooner than you can say “bon voyage,” Jaine’s all-expenses-paid trip to the Mexican Riviera seems destined to be a wreck . . . Things are already off to a rocky start when Jaine discovers a stowaway amidst her luggage—her persnickety cat Prozac. Jaine’s sinking sensation grows stronger at dinner, where she meets chatty Emily Pritchard, a wealthy seventy year old who’s traveling with her two nephews. Jaine can’t help noticing the tension among them, especially when the cruise’s charming—and sleazy—British dancer, Graham, whisks Emily out onto the dance floor. Soon Emily is accepting Graham’s invitations to every social event on the ship. Two nights later the bubbly couple announces their engagement, but the news is quickly overshadowed the next morning by the discovery of Graham’s body with an ice pick protruding from his chest . . . Between hiding a furry fugitive, flirting with Emily’s nephew Robbie, and baiting the hook for a clever murderer, Jaine is about to dive into her most dangerous case yet . . .

I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny. --Joanne Fluke Freelance writer Jaine Austen has never been able to resist the siren call of an Eskimo Pie, just like she can't resist renewing her romance with Andrew, an old crush. With her bank account hitting new lows, she's also just agreed to write jokes for Dorcas, a stand-up comic who throws her pantyhose into the audience as a punch line. Not only is Dorcas's act a bomb, she is heckled by Vic, a gorgeous fellow comic. Naturally when Vic is murdered with Dorcas's pantyhose and that same Dorcas is standing over his dead body, the police arrest. . .Dorcas. They figure it's an open-and-shut case, although Jaine figures no killer can be that dumb. But when Jaine sets out to find the real culprit, she is distracted by one dating disaster after another with Andrew--and she may not see the dark side of comedy until she faces the business end of a gun and a cold, deadly grin. . . "Fun. . .Jaine's dogged sleuthing and screwball antics will entertain fans of this fizzy series." --Publishers Weekly

“Fans of Janet Evanovich or Ali Brandon’s Black Cat Bookshop mysteries will enjoy the latest in Levine’s hilarious series.” —Smitten by Books Freelance writer Jaine Austen thought working for a knock-off reality show in the tropics would be paradise. But when she and her kitty Prozac find themselves trapped between a dimwitted leading man, catty contestants, and a cold-blooded murderer, the splashy gig becomes one deadly nightmare . . . Jaine’s life has been a royal pain since she started penning dialogue for Some Day My Prince Will Come—a cheesy dating show that features bachelorettes competing for the heart of Spencer Dalworth VII, a very distant heir to the British throne. But when one of the finalists dies in a freak accident, it’s clear someone wanted the woman out of the race for good—and the police won’t allow a soul off the island until they seize the culprit. Terrified of existing another day without air conditioning and eager to return home, Jaine is throwing herself into the investigation. And she better pounce on clues quickly—or there won’t be any survivors left . . . Praise for the Jaine Austen mysteries “I’m crazy about Laura Levine’s mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny.” —Joanne Fluke, New York Times bestselling author “Laura Levine’s hilarious debut mystery, This Pen for Hire, is a laugh a page (or two or three) as well as a crafty puzzle. Sleuth Jaine Austen’s amused take on life, love, sex and LA will delight readers. Sheer fun!” —Carolyn Hart, New York Times bestselling author “Jaine can really dish it out.” —The New York Times Book Revie

Penelope Standing walks dogs, delivers mail, and never lets her age keep her from getting into trouble. There’s always something interesting happening nearby. Then their small town’s artist-in-residence turns up dead. Though nobody had a motive to poison the French painter, Penelope can’t help but wonder if it really was an accident. Turns out Jean-Philippe had secrets. And the killer isn’t finished yet. If you love cozies featuring witty characters, tantalizing puzzles, and hilarious animals, grab the latest Penelope Standing Mystery, Death Paints a Picture, today!

The latest in acclaimed TV comedy writer and novelist Laura Levine’s witty, lighthearted mystery series featuring Hollywood-based freelance writer Jaine Austen and her snarky cat, Prozac—a laugh-out-loud read for fans of Joanne Fluke, Miranda James, and Laura Childs. Uber-stylist Bebe Braddock plans to juice up her Instagram feed and thinks Jaine would make a perfect “Before & After” model. At Lance’s insistence Jaine is ushered into Bebe’s sprawling Brentwood spread to await her transformation. Yet, while the surroundings are glamorous, the atmosphere is toxic as Bebe bullies her team of assistants, and even her husband, into obeying her every whim. Having earned the wrath of everyone in her orbit, few are shocked when Bebe is found strangled with one of her detested wire hangers. But Jaine’s prints are all over the murder weapon, making her a prime suspect. The police, however, aren’t the only ones showing interest in her—so is Justin, Bebe’s very cute, very young personal assistant. While Jaine navigates a cougar-style romance, Prozac is mistakenly hailed as a feline hero and catapults into internet fame. Still, there are more urgent matters at hand than Prozac’s swelling ego. Unless Jaine can track down Bebe’s killer and clear her own name, the only new outfit she’ll be modeling is an orange prison jumpsuit . . . “As always, Levine’s spunky heroine gets the last laugh.” —Kirkus Reviews “For lovers of the zany this is a sure thing.” —Booklist

At the height of his career, the richest man on Earth, Philip Wires, decides to commit suicide in a grand farewell. Quentin Duncan, an insurance specialist going through a hard time, must find proof to prevent the astronomical life insurance policy taken out by the deceased tycoon from being implemented – something seemingly impossible in light of the facts. A detective novel that unfolds in an extravagant future. Frenzied, fun and covertly critical, it transports you through a succession of events in which the characters are comically on the verge of madness and misfortune. In the vein of classics like ‘Bill, the Galactic Hero’, the narrative leaps like the rapids of a river between the stones towards a surprising final cascade.

THE FINAL NOVEL IN THE #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING SOOKIE STACKHOUSE SERIES—the inspiration for the HBO® original series True Blood. When a shocking murder rocks the small town of Bon Temps, Louisiana, psychic cocktail waitress Sookie Stackhouse learns that she has more than one enemy waiting to get vengeance for the past. Beacuse nothing is ever clear-cut in Bon Temps. What passes for truth is only a convenient lie. What passes for justice is more spilled blood. And what passes for love is never enough...