Emotional Sobriety

Volume Two of one of our most popular books. Sober AA members describe the positive transformations sobriety can bring as they practice the principles of the program in all aspects of their lives.

Picking up right at the point where Janet Woititz’s 1990 hit book Adult Children of Alcoholics left off, clinical psychologist Tian Dayton’s latest contribution contains fresh perspectives and new analysis on how to gain back emotional stability after growing up with the trauma of addiction, abuse, and dysfunction. Dr. Dayton accomplishes this by presenting and explaining the latest research in neuropsychology and the role trauma plays on chemically altering the brain. With compassion and clear explanations and her own personal journey, Dayton teaches readers how to undo the neuropsychological damage of trauma to rewire the brain and reverse the negative effects trauma has on our future relationships and behaviors to gain emotional sobriety. In Emotional Sobriety, Dr. Dayton teaches readers: How to understand the mind/body relationship of addiction and relationship trauma How to rewire your brain to undo the negative effects trauma has on personal, career, and romantic relationships How changing the way one lives and perceives adult relationships can change the way one thinks and feels and vice versa

Guides those in recovery in developing the awareness and skills to deal with life's issues by practicing authentic spirituality and emotional sobriety. Spirituality is a critical aspect of the Twelve Steps and other recovery programs. Yet, for those of us disposed to addiction, it can be easy to get so caught up in the idea of our Higher Power and the abundant joys of a spiritual life that we experience "spiritual bypass"--the use of spirituality to avoid dealing with ourselves, our emotions, and our unfinished business.In Recovering Spirituality, researcher and clinical psychologist Ingrid Mathieu uses personal stories and practical advice to teach us how to grow up emotionally and take responsibility for ourselves. Without turning away from the true benefits of an active spiritual program, she shows us how to work through life's challenges and periods of pain while evolving and maintaining an authentic relationship with our Higher Power.

Here are the creative, heartfelt insights of several dozen sober seekers whose articles in the Grapevine offer insights that can light the way to our own "quiet place in bright sunshine."

The author of the classic 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery offers a fresh list of "smart" things to do to attain and sustain emotional sobriety. Learn the attitudes and behaviors that are key to attaining and sustaining emotional sobriety and developing a deeper trust in the process of life. Dr. Allen Berger draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer us twelve hallmarks of emotional sobriety. These “right actions” help us develop the confidence to be accountable for our behavior, to practice asking for what we want and need, and to cultivate a deeper trust in the process of life. Dr. Berger’s list of smart things includes understanding who you are and what’s important to you learning not to take others’ reactions personally trusting your inner compass Through practicing these twelve things, we find release from what Bill W. described as an “absolute dependence on people or circumstances. Freed from the emotional immaturity that fueled our addictive personality and hurt ourselves and others, we can develop the tools to find strength from within and continue our successful journey of recovery.

Your old, destructive lifestyle is fading into the past and now you are a woman in recovery. What an amazing gift you’ve given yourself. So why aren’t you happier? As sobriety takes hold and your head starts to clear, a wide range of emotions can begin to emerge—feelings that until now you’ve “medicated” with chemicals. Yet to stay sober, and to grow and flourish as a person, you must engage in healing and take responsibility for these long-neglected emotions. Beverly Conyers, a prominent voice in recovery, uses personal stories and informed insight to guide you in achieving emotional sobriety by addressing behaviors and feelings unique to the female experience. Learn how to develop the inner resiliency to face and process difficult, buried emotions—such as shame, grief, fear, and anger—while freeing the positive feelings of self- worth, independence, and integrity. Discover how to heal your “damaged self” by improving your communication skills, expanding your capacity for intimacy and trust, and reawakening a spiritual life. As you heal your wounded heart, you can free yourself to a life of self-acceptance and lay the foundation for a rewarding and relapse-free second stage of recovery.

In addition to staying connected to our support systems and avoiding opportunities to use during the coronavirus pandemic, we can also keep confronting and conquering the self-destructive things we think and do that undercut our health and sanity. Concise advice on hunting down the personal culprits that sabotage sobriety and personal happiness. To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. In simple, down-to-earth language, Allen Berger explores the twelve most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery. He then provides tools for working through these problems in daily life. This useful guide offers fresh perspectives on how the process of change begins with basic self-awareness and a commitment to working a daily program.

How to stop drinking, stay stopped, and develop emotional skills for a life of excitement and connection ... without the hangover. “No thanks—I’m not drinking tonight.” In a culture that equates alcohol with enjoyment and social acceptance, making this simple statement can make us feel like we’re depriving or even punishing ourselves. “When we realize we don’t want to drink anymore or can no longer drink safely, it can feel like the only choices are to spiral out of control or embrace a joyless life,” says psychotherapist and sobriety expert Veronica Valli. “But it’s not true! Sobriety can be a path filled with fun, excitement, belonging, relaxation, and romance.” Soberful offers a practical and straightforward program on how to get sober and stay sober by increasing your self-worth, energy, and participation in life. Valli begins by debunking widespread beliefs about alcohol and sobriety, including the illusion that alcohol itself is the problem. Then she takes you into the heart of her method for building an alcohol-free life that works—the Five Pillars of Sustainable Sobriety: • Movement—Taking care of your body for physical and emotional health • Connection—Using self-compassion as a foundation for creating healthy and authentic relationships • Balance—Learning how to disarm the triggers that make you want to drink • Process—Validating, honoring, and accepting the past to move forward into the future • Growth—How to keep changing, keep learning, and keep choosing to stay sober throughout the journey of your life “When we change how we experience the world, we can stop trying to escape our feelings with alcohol,” Valli says. As a leader and pioneer in the field with 21 years of sobriety, Valli now shares the same steps that worked for her and her clients. Written with gentle humor and compassion, Soberful provides a road map to a life beyond drinking—one that is expansive, fulfilling, and joyously free.