Everybody Poops 410 Pounds A Year

Presents fascinating, unusual, and gross facts about excrement.

Discover the fascinating facts and riveting stories of the world beneath your toilet in this fully illustrated bathroom reader for adults. Every day, Americans produce hundreds of millions of pounds of poop. In New York City alone, the weight of poop-based sludge produced each day is around 1,200 tons—the equivalent of 200 African elephants. So unbuckle your trousers and pull up a toilet seat; this book is going to push open the lavatory door and answer these fascinating mysteries of poop: • Where does poop go when you flush? • What’s the secret genius below an outhouse? • Are you eating food grown in your own poop? • Can you ride a poop-powered bus? • Was there really a flush toilet 5,000 years ago? • What is the future of poop?

"With universal appeal (everyone poops, after all), this witty, illustrated description of over two dozen dookies (each with a medical explanation written by a doctor) details what one can learn about health and well-being by studying what's in the bowl. A floater? It's probably due to a buildup of gas. Now think back on last night's dinner, a burrito perhaps? . . .All the greatest hits are here: The Log Jam, The Glass Shard, The Deja Poo, The Hanging Chad ... the list goes on. Sidebars, trivia, over 60 euphemisms for number 2, and unusual case histories all make this the ultimate bathroom reader. Who knew you could learn so much from your poo?"--Publisher website (October 2007)

Discover fascinating facts about the human digestive system—and poop!—in this illustrated book for adults parodying the world-famous children’s book. ONCE UPON A TIME . . . when you were little, you learned that everyone poops. But did you ever discover how much? Well, sit down on that cold porcelain throne and get ready to laugh your butt off at the most amazing, hilarious, need-to-go facts on the one thing everyone does—but nobody talks about. Filled to the rim with piles of fascinating dirty fun, this illustrated kids’ book for grown-ups answers all the questions you never thought to ask: •How do astronauts poop in space? •Where does poop go after you flush? •Why can I see the corn but not the chicken? •Can I light my poop on fire? •Who invented the first flushing toilet? •What’s the poop on Michael Jackson, Elvis and John Wayne?

This charming, illustrated guide delivers all the invaluable advice parents-to-be will need, told through hilarious situations that new parents will find all too familiar. You’re becoming a parent— It’s gonna be tremendous! Follow this book’s advice to be super stupendous! What to expect from birth to age one, Learn why parenting is the MOST fun. Where and when to take naps, How to deal with baby craps. What on earth should Daddy do? How to manage Baby’s first flu. Changing diapers and burping techniques, And many more ways to say, “Goodbye Sleep!”

Get the scoop on lady poop with this surprising and hilarious combination of feminism and fecal facts, a perfect bathroom book for any feminist. Everybody poops, and that means every body. Women are no strangers to time on the can, but for centuries women have been pressured to avoid mention, reference, and especially smell. It’s time to reclaim our right to let some sh*t go! - Did you know that women’s colons are TEN CENTIMETERS longer than men's? - Did you know that your toilet is TOO TALL, built for the invented height of the average male? - Did you know that your period actually makes you poop MORE? Women Don’t Poop and Other Lies offers a humorous look at the history and trivia around this most basic bodily function. From the pioneer days when women had to create pop-up port-a-Johns with their skirts to modern-day workday bathroom anxiety, this giftable book is packed full of surprisingly adorable and informative color illustrations and poopy pub trivia. Nevertheless, we poop!

Find out what all those animals are saying behind the humans’ backs in this comical collection . . . From the popular internet sensation “They Can Talk” comes a hilarious comic collection of what it would be like if we had VIP access to the lives of our animal friends and foes. Humor writer and artist Jimmy Craig offers 100 colorful comics, including the inner thoughts of creatures from across the animal kingdom—from misunderstood sharks and troublemaking bears to the often-complicated relationship between you and your pet cat. Get dating advice from raccoons, and learn what roosters think when the sun rises and why cats are always knocking things off of shelves. They Can Talk is the perfect pick-me-up for anyone who loves animals—or just loves to laugh.

A hilarious, unofficial cookbook featuring rustic, beet-heavy recipes that Mental Floss calls, “the perfect treat for any mega fans of The Office.” **2021 Foreword INDIES Award Finalist for Humor** Ask Yourself, “What Wouldn’t an Idiot Make for Dinner?” The answer is exactly what you will find in this cookbook. With Beet This, you can make your next meal in true Schrute-Farms style with recipes that are equal parts rustic and merciless. Straight from Honesdale (the Keystone State’s culinary mecca) this cookbook is packed with old and hearty, Pennsylvania-inspired recipes that would earn Dwight’s perfectenschlag stamp of approval, including: Beet Biscuits with Rabbit Gravy (a breakfast classic) Beet and Cabbage Salad Beet Fries Russian Beet Soup Whole Roasted Beets Spicy Fried Rattlesnake with Pickled Beets Moist Chocolate-Beet Cake For a B&B nightcap, Home-Distilled Beet Vodka and so much more . . . Sharpen your Santoku, load your spud gun, and prepare to be transported to a magical, beet-filled corner of Northeast Pennsylvania. Or don't. And die of hunger. Idiot. “For Dwight Schrute fans, this latest addition to the show’s culinary library will be hard to beet.” —Robert Peterpaul, Screen Rant “If you don’t consider yourself an idiot, you can’t ‘beet this’ cookbook.” —Jason Fraley, WTOP News