Healing Sexually Betrayed Men And Boys

Healing Sexually Betrayed Men and Boys: Treatment for Sexual Abuse, Assault, and Trauma is the new authoritative source for treatment of sexually victimized men and boys. Male victims and survivors of sexual trauma lived in shadow until the turn of the 21st century, when scandal after scandal about the sexual abuse of boys and men shed light on their suffering. These men and boys require different treatment roadmaps than their female counterparts. Yet there is little in the professional literature to help a clinician work with sexually traumatized boys and men. Richard B. Gartner is a seasoned psychologist/psychoanalyst who has worked therapeutically with sexually abused men for over three decades. He is a clinician, advocate, teacher, lecturer, and nationally and internationally recognized expert on the subject. Dr. Gartner’s classic book, Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men, is one of the few written to guide clinicians. Now, nearly two decades after writing that groundbreaking volume, he follows up on his earlier work. Healing Sexually Abused Men and Boys, together with its companion volume, Understanding the Sexual Betrayal of Boys and Men, is a thorough, comprehensive guide to learning about and healing male victims and survivors. Dr. Gartner has invited a group of experts to write about specific problems faced by these boys and men. Specialists from the psychoanalytic, psychodynamic, trauma, and legal worlds fill in the details about a wide range of interconnected subjects related to the complex reverberations of male sexual trauma. Healing Sexually Betrayed Men and Boys covers such diverse topics as: therapy with young sexually traumatized boys; the aftermath for men who were raped as adults ; covert seduction of boys and its aftereffects; treatment for substance addictions and sexual compulsions; couples work with male survivors and their partners or spouses; bodywork with male survivors; treatment for male veterans who suffered sexual trauma in the military; profiling sexual predators and working with survivors who have also been sexual predators. This book is a valuable resource for clinicians at every level of training. With strategies for how survivors can build support networks and descriptions of clinical, familial, and community-based treatments, Healing Sexually Betrayed Men and Boys is essential reading for clinicians of all theoretical persuasions who work with male sexual abuse survivors. Filling in gaps in the relatively scant literature on the subject, it will also help sexually abused or assaulted men themselves understand what is available to them.

More than one in six boys in the United States is sexually victimized by the age of 16. Yet in the growing professional literature on child sexual abuse, few books focus specifically on the experience of victimized boys and men. This much-needed volume examines how sexual betrayal affects boys and the ways they carry this hurt into adulthood. Blending psychoanalytic understanding with insights from trauma-oriented theory and practice, Richard B. Gartner presents effective strategies for meeting the unique therapeutic needs of men with sexual abuse histories. Filled with evocative clinical material, the book draws readers into the direct experience of these clients, the therapists who work with them, and the constantly shifting relational world they inhabit.

"With compassion and clarity, Richard Gartner shares insights from years of working with male survivors. Among this book's greatest strengths is the extensive use of examples from Dr. Gartner's clinical practice to illustrate problems and solutions on the path to healing. Beyond Betrayal offers support, encouragement, and useful skills to men in recovery." --Mike Lew, M.Ed., author of Victims No Longer and Leaping upon the Mountains "If you have been sexually abused, this book will give you information, hope, direction, and most importantly, the assurance that you are not alone. Dr. Gartner has written an accessible, compassionate book that clearly lays out the healing process for men who were hurt or abused as children. Whether you were abused by a mother, a camp counselor, a neighborhood boy, or a priest, Beyond Betrayal will give you the tools you need to reclaim your life and move on. If you're going to take one book with you on the healing journey, this should be the one." --Laura Davis, coauthor of The Courage to Heal and author of The Courage to Heal Workbook "Compassionate, insightful, and hopeful, Beyond Betrayal shines a bright light. It is a must-read for anyone concerned." --Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., author of Silently Seduced "Beyond Betrayal cuts through the shame, confusion, misunderstanding, and fear that so often accompany the abuse of males and replaces them with clear information. I will begin to use it immediately with my patients and think that other clinicians will do so as well." --Christine A. Courtois, Ph.D., author of Healing the Incest Wound and Recollections of Sexual Abuse "Beyond Betrayal offers men straightforward words of hope and a meaningful way to overcome the invisibility, stigma, and shame they have endured. Many men and their families will find this book a healing aid." --Jack Drescher, M.D., author of Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man "Dr. Gartner writes in a manner any reader will find accessible. Not only does he understand the topic of males, sexual abuse, and recovery, but he can explain it to those who need to know." --Dr. Mic Hunter, author of Abused Boys and editor of Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse: Treatment Innovations

Nothing destroys trust like sexual betrayal. Beyond broken vows, a woman who discovers that the man she loves has been viewing pornography or having an affair must deal with devastating blows to her self-image and self-worth. She must grapple with the fact that the man she thought she knew has lied and deceived her. She may even bear the brunt of shame and judgment when the people around her find out. Drawing from her experience both as a marriage and family therapist and a woman who personally experienced the devastation of sexual betrayal, Dr. Sheri Keffer walks women impacted by betrayal through the pain and toward recovery. She explains how the trauma of betrayal affects our minds, bodies, spirits, and sexuality. She offers practical tools for dealing with emotional triggers and helps women understand the realities of sexual addiction. And she shows women how to practice self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect themselves from abuse or manipulation, and find freedom from the burden of shame and guilt.

Understanding the Sexual Betrayal of Boys and Men: The Trauma of Sexual Abuse is an indispensable go-to book for understanding male sexual victimization. It has become increasingly clear since the 1980s that men and boys, like women and girls, are sexually abused and assaulted in alarming numbers. Yet there have been few resources available to victims, their loved ones, or those trying to help them. Richard B. Gartner was in the vanguard of clinicians treating male sexual victimization and has written extensively about it, initially in professional papers, then in his landmark 1999 book for clinicians Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men, continuing with his 2005 work Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse. He has been a tireless teacher, clinician, and advocate for male victims of sexual abuse in the classroom, the lecture hall, and of course the consulting room as well as in newspaper, television, radio, and online interviews. Dr. Gartner has gathered together expert colleagues from the trauma, psychoanalytic, medical, and survivor treatment fields. Together, they have created a comprehensive guide to what was once thought to be a rarity but now is clearly an all-too-common occurrence. Understanding the Sexual Betrayal of Boys and Men looks at the realities of male sexual victimization, guiding clinicians and lay people alike to understand the complexities of the devastation it causes in victimized boys and men. It considers topics as diverse as: sexual assault in institutions like the military, sports teams, schools, universities, and religious organizations; sex trafficking of boys and adolescents; neurobiology and brain chemistry of male survivors of sexual abuse; gender and sexual dysfunctions and confusions resulting from sexual exploitation and trauma; physicians’ treatment of sexually abused men’s medical problems; socio-cultural influences on processing and treating men’s and boys’ sexual victimization. Understanding the Sexual Betrayal of Boys and Men is required reading for anyone working with male victims of sexual abuse and assault at any level – psychotherapists, rape counselors, attorneys, journalists, guidance counselors, physicians, clergy, graduate students, and lawmakers – and helpful to lay people interested in this often-unrecognized problem.

A long overdue book by a psychologist who has extensive clinical experience treating male victims of child sexual abuse, it explodes the myth that sexual abuse of male children is rare, or that the consequences are less serious than for girls. Hunter examines the physical and emotional impact of abuse on its victims and the factors affecting revovery. With personal case histories of victims and their families, this is a powerfully written and meticulously researched book that is a landmark in the field of child sexual abuse literature.

For any woman dealing with the fallout of infidelity, this sensitive and practical guide offers proven tools to help you make wise and empowering decisions as you deal with your husband’s sexual betrayal. If you have been devastated by your husband's sexual betrayal--whether an isolated incident or a long-term pattern of addiction--you don't have to live as a victim. If you choose to stay in your marriage, you have options other than punishing, tolerating, or ignoring your spouse; in fact, extraordinary growth awaits a woman willing to deal with the pain of her husband's struggles with sexual purity. Even if your spouse will not participate in a program for healing, you can change your own life in powerful and permanent ways. Shattered Vows is inspired by Debra Laaser's own journey through betrayal, her extensive work with hundreds of hurting women as a licensed marriage and family therapist, and her healed marriage after her husband's infidelity. In this book, she gives you the emotional tools to develop greater intimacy in your life, spiritual tools to transform your suffering, and meaningful answers to the questions that arise amid the complex fallout of broken vows: What am I supposed to do now? Why should I get help when this is his problem? How could this have happened? Where can I hide my heart? When will I stop feeling so out of control? What do you mean, "do I want to get well?" How can I ever trust him again? Is forgiving him really possible? How can we rebuild our relationship? The pain endured from sexual betrayal can break your heart, but it does not need to break your life.

Meg is a lantern guiding women through the twists and turns along this pain-filled path. --Lynn Marie Cherry, speaker and author of Keep Walking: 40 Days to Hope and Freedom After Betrayal Meg Wilson watched her world fall apart when her husband confessed to years of sexual addiction. She has intimate knowledge of the devastation that follows--and she has come through the other side. In her groundbreaking Hope After Betrayal, Meg provides reassuring counsel, compassionate insight, and wise direction. By sharing her story, talking to other women who've been in a similar situation, and turning to Scripture, Wilson has helped countless readers through the steps to recovery--and shows how you can follow that same path out of the darkness. This newly revised and expanded edition includes new lessons Meg has learned over the last decade. A compelling final chapter by Meg's husband sheds further light on the difficult road to healing from sexual addiction, and a thoughtful new appendix addresses the effect sexual addiction has on children in the home. Hope After Betrayal is a strong and sure lifeline that thousands of women will reach for in a drowning moment. Meg offers careful, clear direction and encouragement in each chapter while unveiling the truth about sexual addiction...This valuable tool should be required reading for every wife and every mother of sons." --Robin Jones Gunn, best-selling author of the Sisterchicks Series