Is It You Me Or Adult A D D

Winner of four national book awards! Revised First Edition, 2022 Is It You, Me, or Adult ADHD? has helped thousands of readers worldwide to understand how this highly variable syndrome affects them. Professionals and couples who have elevated their lives with its wisdom recommend it to others. In this highly endorsed, clearly written, and comprehensive guide, Gina Pera guides you in making sense of your own Adult ADHD Roller Coaster. She helps you to: —View ADHD as a variable syndrome affecting individuals, not clones —Realize how a later-in-life ADHD diagnosis creates additional issues —Revise misinterpretations of symptoms, forged long ago, that can thwart progress now —Heal poor coping responses and dysfunctional interaction cycles, as individuals and couples —Implement practical supports to completing routine tasks and reaching long-term goals, with teamwork! —Appreciate how poorly managed ADHD can also negatively affect the spouses and other loved ones. —Delve into "denial's" dual nature — physiological and psychological — and reach through it —Adopt proven approaches that remain extremely rare in clinical settings The science has been clear since 1994, when Adult ADHD was declared a medical diagnosis. Still, the public harbors misconceptions, and that means millions suffer needlessly. That includes millions of couples who can't understand why their lives together are so hard—often despite many attempts at therapy. The simple truth is: Everyone knows someone with adult ADHD. Yet we often misattribute the symptoms to anxiety, depression, or even laziness, selfishness, “addictive personality,” or moodiness. Some assume that ADHD means "little boys with ants in their pants." In fact, childhood hyperactivity goes "underground" as the person matures, resulting in a mentally restless state. Meticulously researched and written by Gina Pera, Is It You, Me, or Adult ADHD? helps you recognizing the behaviors where you least expect them and developing compassion for everyone wrestling with unrecognized ADHD symptoms. It also offers: —Explanations from preeminent experts —Plenty of real-life details —Easy-to-understand, detailed advice on the best treatment options and practical solutions. The revolutionary message is one of hope for millions of people—and a joyous opportunity for a better life.

Everyone involved with AD/HD will find the information in this book invaluable, especially people with AD/HD and couples therapists, who often mistake AD/HD for communication problems or personality differences. Meticulously researched and presented with empathy and humor, _Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?_ offers the latest information from top experts, who explain the science and proven protocols for reducing AD/HD's most challenging symptoms. Real-life details come from the partners themselves, who share their stories with touching candor yet plenty of humor.

Winner of four national book awards! Praised by a "Who's Who" of preeminent experts! This bestselling guide put Adult ADHD and Relationships on the map — and remains a must-read today. Adults with ADHD, their partners and other loved ones, and professionals will find comprehensive understanding of symptoms, emotional impact, and evidence-based treatment strategies. "I recommend it highly to all couples whose troubles seem incomprehensible, and for all couples therapists it should be required reading to help them distinguish between ordinary conflict and the roller coaster effect of this syndrome." —Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. "Insightful, helpful, witty, and very practical. This book can change your life." —Daniel Amen, MD "There is no better book that addresses such relationship difficulties and with such sensitivity to the complex issues inherent in them. Thank you, Gina, for writing such a useful book." —Russell A. Barkley, PhD "Gina Pera has written a stunning book that should be a must-read for all couples where one or both partners have Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder." —Anthony Rostain, MD About this Groundbreaking Book: Is It You, Me, or Adult ADHD? has helped thousands of readers understand how this highly variable syndrome affects them. Around the globe, professionals and couples who have elevated their lives with the book's wisdom recommend it to others. Gina Pera expertly guides you in making sense of your own Adult ADHD Roller Coaster—helping you to: · View ADHD as a variable syndrome affecting individuals · Realize how later-in-life diagnosis creates additional issues · Revise old misinterpretations that can thwart progress now · Heal poor coping responses and dysfunctional interaction cycles · Implement supports to completing routine tasks and reaching goals · Appreciate how ADHD can also negatively affect the spouses and other loved ones · Delve into "denial's" dual nature — physiological and psychological — and reach through it · Adopt proven approaches that remain extremely rare in clinical settings, especially couple therapy The science has been clear since 1994, when Adult ADHD was declared a medical diagnosis. Still, the public harbors misconceptions, and that means millions suffer needlessly. That includes millions of couples who can't understand why their lives together are so hard—often despite many attempts at therapy. The simple truth is: Everyone knows someone with adult ADHD. Yet we often misattribute the symptoms to anxiety, depression, or even laziness, selfishness, “addictive personality,” or moodiness. Some assume that ADHD means little boys with ants in their pants. In fact, childhood hyperactivity goes "underground" as the person matures, resulting in a mentally restless state. Meticulously researched and written by Gina Pera, Is It You, Me, or Adult ADHD? helps you recognize the behaviors where you least expect them with: · Explanations from highly respected experts · Plenty of real-life details · Empathy and compassion for everyone affected by Adult ADHD · Clear advice on proven treatment options and practical solutions. The revolutionary message is one of hope for millions of people—and a joyous opportunity for a better life. About the Author Gina Pera is an internationally respected author, speaker, and educator on Adult ADHD, especially as it affects relationships. For 22 years, she has researched and written about Adult ADHD while also passionately advocating for better treatment standards. She wrote two highly praised books and the first-ever chapter on couple-therapy in the leading ADHD clinical guide (edited by Russell Barkley, PhD). Since 2008, she's reported major original stories at her award-winning blog (the first and longest-running website on Adult ADHD): ADHDRollerCoaster.org Her first book, Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?, broke new ground and won four book awards. It has been translated into Turkish and Spanish. Her second book (with psychologist Arthur Robin) is Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy: Clinical Interventions. It presents the first therapeutic model for helping these couples. It is a flexible approach based on strategies that research has proven to work for Adult ADHD and for couple therapy. Known as an innovative researcher and engaging speaker, Gina has long provided education and support for the ADHD community. She has led workshops internationally and facilitates Adult ADHD discussion groups in Silicon Valley as well as an international online group for the partners of adults with ADHD. Previously, Gina was an award-winning newspaper and magazine journalist. She has recently launched an online training site for consumers and professionals: ADHDSuccessTraining.com Her blog: ADHDRollerCoaster.org From the Author, Gina Pera: ADHD is a highly variable syndrome that affects individuals, not clones. Your experience of ADHD might look little like: · Your friend's ADHD · Your parent's ADHD · That blogger's or podcaster's ADHD · Any stereotypes about ADHD I wrote this book to help everyone affected by Adult ADHD — the adults themselves, their partners and other loved ones, and professionals — learn to recognize ADHD-related challenges. When you know what you are dealing with, you have a better chance of creating positive change. When couples learn about ADHD and work as a team to address misinterpretations and dysfunctional interaction cycles, life typically improve dramatically. Even when relationships do not continue, healing takes place. Lessons are learned about digging deep into the human capacity for strength, love, and compassion —and learning new ideas. I sincerely wish that you find this guide helpful, even life-changing, and that it might inspire you to share your knowledge with others. Thank you for reading. Professional Endorsements/Reviews “Most books on marriage offer insights and help to common marital problems such as the traditional problems of conflict around sex, money, children, time, and in-laws. They offer credible solutions such as conflict management, improved communication, and problem solving skills. “This book is different. For some couples these problems are exacerbated by the often-unnoticed presence of a particular neural wiring in the brain, called Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, that makes traditional solutions very ineffective. This book describes AD/HD in detail and with empathy and helps couples with this added challenge find hope and solutions. “I recommend it highly to all couples whose troubles seem incomprehensible and for all couples therapists it should be required reading to help them distinguish between ordinary conflict and the roller coaster’ effect of this syndrome.” —Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. renowned couples therapy expert and author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples "In this lucid, provocative, and authoritative book, Gina Pera lets the reader know, at a visceral level, what it's like to be the partner of an adult with AD/HD. Alternately humorous and deadly serious, the book is deeply empathic with the experience of such partners. Along the way, Pera provides important information about AD/HD's causes and treatments and provides empowerment to those who have for too long been blamed for the relationship issues engendered by AD/HD. “By showing the reality of AD/HD in relation to those who must live with its consequences every day, she provides a message of real hope." —Stephen Hinshaw, Ph.D. Professor and Chair of the Psychology Department at the University of California, Berkeley "Wow! What a roller coaster ride...Is It You, Me or Adult ADD? contains information that is just not available anywhere else. This book is sure to become the authoritative guide for couples dealing with ADD and the baggage that accompanies it. Packed with information, but not overwhelming, it is a unique and valuable resource." —Patricia O. Quinn, M.D. Cofounder and Director, The National Center for Girls and Women with AD/HD “Insightful, helpful, witty, and very practical. This book can change your life.” —Daniel G. Amen, M.D. author Change Your Brain, Change Your Life “Having a spouse or partner with ADHD and its attendant conditions often means dealing with painful, disastrous, and heartbreaking issues-—financial catastrophes, verbal and even physical abuse, substance addiction. and many others. The spouse feels overwhelmed and desperate while struggling in a swirl of chaos. But help is often nowhere to be found. Most books on ADHD completely ignore the more serious issues brought on families, and even health care providers sometimes have no understanding of it. Many group members have been in relationships for 20 to 30 years, never knowing why their lives are so different from other couples, loving their partners, but living lives of frustration and emotional abandonment. As co-moderators for nearly 10 years of an online support group, we've seen our members grapple with these painful issues, with nowhere else to turn for advice, help, and hope except each other. We've seen this book emerge from a plea from group members for a resource that addresses their needs. Gina Pera has completed a monumental undertaking of blending our stories with the latest medical advisories on treating ADHD and its many co-existing conditions. Real answers on the painful realities. We expect this book will be the bible for all of us dealing with adult ADHD. —Elizabeth Weathers and Diane Hartson Co-moderators. ADD Spouse support group "My first response to the publication of Gina's book was 'At last! Something for the significant other!' You hate to use the cliche 'long overdue' but as a physician who treats dozens of ADHD patients, until now, there's just been nothing available. Is it You, Me, or Adult ADHD lives up to all expectations. I can safely predict it will become as an 'industry standard'. As father to a son and husband to a wife with ADHD, I can professionally and personally attest to the value of Gina's important new book." —David Edelberg, M.D. Medical Director, WholeHealth Chicago “For all the couples who are struggling with ADHD in their relationship, Gina Pera has written a wonderful guide to help you navigate these treacherous marital waters. Is it You, Me, or Adult ADD? has the unique distinction of including the perspective of the partner without ADHD, which has been neglected for far too many years. The book is well researched, reader friendly, and includes insights and perspectives from a Who's Who of professionals in the field. For couples struggling with ADHD, it's the season's new must-have book and bound to become a classic.” —Michele Novotni, Ph.D. author of What Does Everyone Else Know that I Don't? “Even today, people often surprisingly ask: “Do you believe in Adult ADHD?” Confirmatory brain neuroscience answers this speculation about Adult ADHD: It’s real problem, with real and painful challenges, not a belief system. And nowhere is Adult ADHD more evident, more fully identifiable, than in our most important, valued relationships. In any long-term relationship, with increasing exposure over time, ADHD patterns endure unabated. They grind partners into a thin paste. “The reason it took so long to recognize Adult ADD is simple: Its expression is cunning and well rationalized. With Gina Pera’s help, the subtlety of recognizing and the complexity of intervening on these puzzling ADHD predicaments is refreshingly simplified. “Gina translates big questions into useful, practical, and understandable answers. Her book provides not only a good starting place for the ADHD discussion, but also detailed follow-through for the real recovery process.” — Charles Parker, DO Medical Director, CorePsych “While there is increasing awareness of how common and difficult ADHD can be, there are no resources available to help explain the nature of ADHD to those who live closest to it in adulthood: the spouse. “Gina Pera has combined a real feel for the disorder with sound reporting skills and the spice of those who tell the story best: the couples themselves. This is a book based on science, but it captures the art of helping couples cope with and move beyond the challenges that ADHD creates.” —Margaret D. Weiss, M.D., Ph.D. Director of Clinical Research in Child Psychiatry at Cambridge Health Alliance, Cambridge MA. “Gina Pera has written a stunning book that should be a must-read for all couples where one or both partners have ADHD. Combining her own experiences, a thoughtful synthesis of the clinical and research literature, and a creative study of her own design, she has grasped the complex ways in which ADHD affects relationships and has translated her comprehensive expertise into a highly readable and extraordinarily helpful guide. “Using the metaphor of riding a roller coaster, she describes the ups and downs of intimate relationships in frank and open ways, including rich descriptions of all-too-common scenarios that inevitably stymie couples, and offers solutions that are both imaginative and practical. Her prose is extremely effective, at times funny and at other times poignant, and her ability to capture the subtle dynamics of partnerships affected by ADHD is nothing short of extraordinary. “What is particularly stunning about her achievement is the way Ms. Pera has captured the intricacy of ADHD, including its far-reaching effects on executive function and emotional regulation. Equally impressive is her talent for framing the issues in comprehensible language, with answers to frequently asked questions, quotes from partners with and without ADHD, and snippets of dialogues that are completely genuine. “Best of all, this book offers hope and guidance to the millions of adults whose lives have been challenged by ADHD, by providing clear and useful ideas and a richly elaborated framework for addressing the myriad stresses that ADHD imposes upon intimacy and friendship. “Kudos and thanks to Ms. Pera! I will make this book required reading for all my patients. It is nothing short of a tour de force!” —Anthony L. Rostain, M.D., MA Medical Director, University of Pennsylvania Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program. Professor of Psychiatry and Pediatrics, University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine “As any partner of an adult with ADHD can attest, research clearly shows ADHD's pervasive effects on a person's ability to manage life's many demands. This often leaves the partner to pick up the pieces, despite the ADHD person's seemingly good intentions. “When an adult has ADHD, his or her romantic partner ‘has’ it, too. Alternately confused, optimistic, and resentful, the partner rides a roller coaster as he or she tries to understand why the relationship seems so unbalanced. Gina Pera has been there and has authored a guide that offers understanding for the confused, practical strategies for the frustrated, and hope for the despondent. “This book will be a lifesaver for both partners as they strive to create a more satisfying relationship and a happier, more productive life together.” —Ari Tuckman, Psy.D., M.B.A. From the Back Cover Is Someone You Love... · Forgetful? Disorganized? Distractible? Procrastination prone? · Easily bored? Irritable? A couch potato or always on the go? · Suffering from sleep problems? · Prone to "mis-hearing" or "mis-remembering"? · Addicted to shopping, tobacco, videogames, work--or worse? Learn Why... · Most adults with ADD aren't physically hyperactive. · Many can focus—when their interest level is high. · Many therapists and physicians fail to recognize the signs of ADHD—or know how to provide evidence-based treatment. · Symptoms can sabotage your finances, intimacy, and even your health. · Externally supporting Executive Functions can help people with ADHD " show what they know" · ADHD awareness can save your relationship—and maybe even your life! "For all couples therapists it should be required reading to help them distinguish between ordinary conflict and the 'roller coaster' effect of this syndrome." —Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. author of Getting the Love You Want "Insightful, helpful, witty, and very practical. This book can change your life." —Daniel G. Amen, M.D. author of Healing ADD. Until now, however, no books existed that combined both a scientific understanding of adult ADHD with pragmatic recommendations to guide these adults and their partners in coping, problem-solving, and otherwise addressing the difficulties they face in sharing a life and a home. Gina Pera's book does so with an admirable balance of current scientific information mixed with sage advice and wise, practical strategies based on the current science. There is no better book now that addresses such relationship difficulties and with such sensitivity to the complex issues inherent in them. Thank you, Gina, for writing such a useful book. —Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D. author of Taking Charge of Adult ADHD and Adult ADHD: What the Science Says About the Author Gina Pera is an internationally respected author, speaker, and educator on Adult ADHD, especially as it affects relationships. For 22 years, she has researched and written about Adult ADHD while also passionately advocating for better treatment standards. She wrote two highly praised books and the first-ever chapter on couple-therapy in the leading ADHD clinical guide (edited by Russell Barkley, PhD). Since 2008, she's reported major original stories at her award-winning blog (the first and longest-running website on Adult ADHD): ADHDRollerCoaster.org Her first book, Is It You, Me, or Adult ADHD?, broke new ground and won four book awards. It has been translated into Turkish and Spanish. Her second book (with psychologist Arthur Robin) is Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy: Clinical Interventions. It presents the first therapeutic model for helping these couples. It is a flexible approach based on strategies that research has proven to work for Adult ADHD and for couple therapy. Known as an innovative researcher and engaging speaker, Gina has long provided education and support for the ADHD community. She has led workshops internationally and facilitates Adult ADHD discussion groups in Silicon Valley as well as an international online group for the partners of adults with ADHD. Previously, Gina was an award-winning newspaper and magazine journalist. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Foreword from a preeminent international ADHD expert: Only within the last 15 years has adult ADHD been recognized as a valid clinical disorder. Yet at least 40 years ago—and possibly a century—the scientific and clinical literature acknowledged its existence. Today, we know ADHD to be more impairing than most other conditions seen in outpatient psychiatric and psychological clinics—including anxiety disorders, dysthymia, and major depression. In short, the scientific evidence is overwhelming for this adult version of a disorder long associated with childhood. "In particular, current research details how ADHD can adversely affect all major life activities, including marriage or cohabiting relationships and the skills intimately involved in maintaining a household and raising a family—including driving an automobile, working a job, managing money, taking care of one’s health, and parenting. "Until now, however, no books existed that combined both a scientific understanding of adult ADHD with pragmatic recommendations to guide these adults and their partners in coping, problem-solving, and otherwise addressing the difficulties they face in sharing a life and a home. "Gina Pera’s book does so with an admirable balance of current scientific information mixed with sage advice and wise, practical strategies based on the current science. There is no better book that addresses such relationship difficulties and with such sensitivity to the complex issues inherent in them. "Thank you, Gina, for writing such a useful book." —Russell Barkley, Ph.D., author of ADHD in Adults: What the Science Says and Taking Charge of Adult ADHD

Disorders and syndromes.

You've just been diagnosed with ADD. Now what? After receiving a diagnosis of attention deficit disorder (ADD), you may feel relieved to finally have an explanation for your symptoms, but also concerned and full of questions about the future. Questions like: What are the best ways to get symptoms—such as impulsiveness and difficulty with time management—under control? Should you tell people at work? And, wait a minute, there can be good things about having ADD? In Adult ADD: A Guide for the Newly Diagnosed, an ADD specialist who has the disorder herself answers these questions and offers all the tools and information you need to process the diagnosis, learn about medications, and decide which treatments are the best options for you. This pocket guide also features a complete list of resources you can use to find support and tips for getting organized and living well with ADD.

Managing attention-deficit disorder (ADD) as an adult is a constant challenge. You may notice that your mind sometimes wanders during conversations. Maybe you keep misplacing your keys. Or your ADD may be causing bigger problems in your life, making it difficult to keep in touch with friends and family and leading you to procrastinate on important projects. 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD offers ten easy ways to better manage your symptoms and live better with ADD. Written by noted author and acclaimed psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis, who has used these solutions to personally overcome her ADD symptoms, this concise and clear new edition offers the latest treatment information to help you sharpen your focus, improve your relationships, and manage your time and money.

A revised and updated edition of the classic self-help book that has served as a lifeline to the millions of adults who have ADHD! With over a quarter million copies in print, You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! is one of the bestselling books on attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder ever written. There is a great deal of literature about children with ADHD, but what do you do if you have ADHD and aren't a child anymore? This indispensable reference—the first of its kind written for adults with ADHD by adults with ADHD—focuses on the experiences of adults, offering updated information, practical how-tos, and moral support to help readers deal with ADHD. It also explains the diagnostic process that distinguishes ADHD symptoms from normal lapses in memory, lack of concentration or impulsive behavior, offering guidance on how your reframe our view of ADHD and embrace its benefits. Here's what's new: The new ADHD medications and their effectiveness The effects of ADHD on human sexuality The differences between male and female ADHD—including falling estrogen levels and its impact on cognitive function The power of meditation ADHD coaching tricks and tips And the book still includes the tried-and-true advice about: Achieving balance by analyzing one's strengths and weaknesses Getting along in groups, at work and in intimate and family relationships—including how to decrease discord and chaos Learning the mechanics and methods for getting organized and improving memory Seeking professional help, including therapy and medication

How does ADHD manifest itself in adult life? In general, the authors write, hyperactivity tends to diminish with age, impulsivity changes quality, and attention problems remain the same although they may become more disabling as organizational demands increase. The authors carefully answer the questions often posed by professionals and patients about these symptoms and other issues. They describe the diagnostic interview and the use of rating scales and include examples of the scales. They also provide a well-balanced review of associated psychiatric conditions, such as mood and anxiety disorders, Tourette's syndrome, oppositional and conduct problems, and substance abuse. Descriptions of all the primary approaches to treatment—medication, psychological therapies, and environmental restructuring—include vivid case examples.