My Pug Is An Asshole

'I WANT A DOG!'Who hasn't heard that screamed from a child or partner? They want a dog but you don't want one because you know it will be your responsibility to look after it when they grow bored. Well, this book isn't necessarily for you. This book is for those who want a dog but have no idea what they're really letting themselves in for. You see, I wanted a dog. I was one of those annoying people ranting and raving how badly I wanted one. 'Now I am an adult, I should be allowed to get a dog! It's my house!'I got my dog. I got what I wanted. I even chose the dog. Now, as I sit here typing out this blurb, I weep. Why did I do this to myself? Why have I just committed to this little bastard for God knows how many years?If you want a dog of your own. Read this book. Perhaps see things you didn't necessarily think of (on top of having to clean up its shit from when you go on walks or when it runs in your garden). Then, when you have read the book, make your decision again. Decide if it really is for you.Don't want a dog? Well this is about a pug called Chewie... Read about Chewie's first year and just laugh at my misadventures and misery...From Matt Shaw, author of 'Wasting Stamps', 'Plentyoffreaks' and 'Im fine'

The extended cut of "My Pug is an Asshole" Four years after writing the first book, Matt Shaw decided to revisit his work and add more content which will warn you the dangers of owning such a breed. Read the book, learn about the breed in a fun, lighthearted manner and then - if you STILL want the dog afterwards - you'll be both prepared and know that a pug is the right dog for you. If you read the book and decide a pug isn't for you, Matt Shaw has saved you immense stress and also saved a dog from going to someone ill-prepared to look after it. Interesting fact since the release of the "My Pug is an Asshole" Some people took to social media when the book first came out. They judged the book by the cover and went on the attack, stating Matt Shaw should never have an animal. They entirely missed the point of the book. The book was written to highlight little known information about pugs (and other flat face breeds). It's not to poke fun of them, it's not to spread hate. It is to inform of all the issues you, as a new owner, might face IF you purchase such a dog. From the original blurb: 'I WANT A DOG!' Who hasn't heard that screamed from a child or partner? They want a dog but you don't want one because you know it will be your responsibility to look after it when they grow bored. Well, this book isn't necessarily for you. This book is for those who want a dog but have no idea what they're really letting themselves in for. You see, I wanted a dog. I was one of those annoying people ranting and raving how badly I wanted one. 'Now I am an adult, I should be allowed to get a dog! It's my house!' I got my dog. I got what I wanted. I even chose the dog. Now, as I sit here typing out this blurb, I weep. Why did I do this to myself? Why have I just committed to this little thing for God knows how many years? If you want a dog of your own. Read this book. Perhaps see things you didn't necessarily think of (on top of having to clean up its shit from when you go on walks or when it runs in your garden). Then, when you have read the book, make your decision again. Decide if it really is for you. Don't want a dog? Well this is about a pug called Chewie... Read about Chewie's first year and just laugh at my misadventures and misery... From Matt Shaw, author of 'Wasting Stamps', 'Plentyoffreaks' and 'Im fine' Reviews: "Spot on description of owning a dog" "So true on many, many levels" "Really funny insight on owning a dog" "Absolutely Adorable"

Funny vintage looking Journal for dog lovers. Use it as a dog training diary or a regular journal. Either way its' a fun gift idea for yourself or any dog owner in their life.

Matt Shaw is the published author of over 200 books. He also owns a pug and knows the many issues they face with regards to their health. No one told him about these issues though. They kept it to themselves! Here, you get two books for the price of one! Not only do you get "My Pug Is An Asshole" (what it is REALLY like owning a pug) but you also get "PUG: Crime Has A New Enemy..". Matt's concept story of what it would be like if there were a pug superhero!

#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

For Holly Golightly, there was always Tiffany’s. For me, there’s always Pug Hill. For as long as I’ve lived in New York, whenever I’ve just wanted to think, or relax, or be happy, or even sad, my destination of choice has been, without fail, Pug Hill. For Hope McNeill, pugs are love, unconditional friendship, happiness, and freedom—all qualities currently in short supply in her own life. She’s also short on time and apartment space, and for those reasons she doesn’t have a pug of her own. But she does have Pug Hill in Central Park, where pugs (and their owners) from all over New York City convene. She also has a serious crush on one of her co-workers at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, a flailing relationship with her squash-playing, cold-weather-loving boyfriend, and an unspeakable fear of public speaking. When Hope’s father calls with a daunting assignment--to make a speech at her parent’s fortieth wedding anniversary party--Hope is completely taken off guard. As a last resort, she signs up for a public speaking class, but can't help wondering, will it be enough? Some fears are so big that even all the pugs in the world might not be enough...

Buckingham Pet Palace may provide services fit for a four-legged king, but there’s no use crying over spilled kibble—not unless it leads to murder! When a break-in at the Pet Palace robs Sue Patrick of more than her beauty sleep, she intends to tidy her ransacked doggy daycare and spa before making any rash decisions. But after Sue abandons her better instincts to rescue a petrified pug stranded at a lighthouse in the Delaware Bay later that morning, she’s lured off mainland Lewes long enough for a freshly murdered body to get dumped in her driveway . . . Aided by Lady Anthea Fitzwalter, her practically royal business partner from across the pond, Sue sniffs out clues about the yappy pug with a complicated history and the old car spotted at both crime scenes in hopes of IDing the culprit. As the investigation leads them back to the bay, the ladies soon find themselves immersed in a case trickier than a canine agility course—and chasing after a well-groomed killer who will do anything to maintain a perfect reputation . . .

“Give this to fans of Encyclopedia Brown who are looking for longer (and funnier!) well-plotted mysteries.” —Booklist on Howard Wallace, P.I. “My partner scanned the message and a slow grin took over her face as she said our four favorite words: ‘We have a case.’” HOWARD WALLACE IS BACK! Middle-school detectives Howard Wallace and Ivy Mason are itching for a juicy case. But when their friend and cohort Marvin hires them to prove his nephew— über-bully Carl Dean—didn’t pugnap the school mascot, they’re less than thrilled. To succeed, not only must Howard and Ivy play nice with Carl, they’ll have to dodge a scrappy, snoopy reporter and come face-to-face with Howard’s worst enemy, his ex-best friend Miles Fletcher. Can Howard deal with all these complications and still be there for Ivy when her life is turned upside down? Or will he once again find himself a friendless P.I.? “Another sequel is in the offing, and young mystery fans should be glad.” —Kirkus Reviews