No Drama Discipline

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The pioneering experts behind The Whole-Brain Child and The Yes Brain tackle the ultimate parenting challenge: discipline. “A lot of fascinating insights . . . an eye-opener worth reading.”—Parents Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears—without causing a scene. Defining the true meaning of the “d” word (to instruct, not to shout or reprimand), the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth. By doing so, the cycle of negative behavior (and punishment) is essentially brought to a halt, as problem solving becomes a win/win situation. Inside this sanity-saving guide you’ll discover • strategies that help parents identify their own discipline philosophy—and master the best methods to communicate the lessons they are trying to impart • facts on child brain development—and what kind of discipline is most appropriate and constructive at all ages and stages • the way to calmly and lovingly connect with a child—no matter how extreme the behavior—while still setting clear and consistent limits • tips for navigating your child through a tantrum to achieve insight, empathy, and repair • twenty discipline mistakes even the best parents make—and how to stay focused on the principles of whole-brain parenting and discipline techniques Complete with candid stories and playful illustrations that bring the authors’ suggestions to life, No-Drama Discipline shows you how to work with your child’s developing mind, peacefully resolve conflicts, and inspire happiness and strengthen resilience in everyone in the family. Praise for No-Drama Discipline “With lucid, engaging prose accompanied by cartoon illustrations, Siegel and Bryson help parents teach and communicate more effectively.”—Publishers Weekly “Wow! This book grabbed me from the very first page and did not let go.”—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of The Opposite of Worry

Based on their New York Times bestselling book No-Drama Discipline, internationally acclaimed neuropsychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel, MD, and brain-based parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, have created a guide to manage and reduce drama in your interactions with your kids, and even decrease the amount of time you spend having to discipline. The goal is simple: discipline less on autopilot by developing a set of principles and strategies based on your own family dynamics. These stories, reflections, and exercises will help you think more deeply about the way you communicate with your kids, and provide opportunities for peaceful and nurturing conflict resolution.

Parenting isn’t easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood. “There is parenting magic in this book.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of the New York Times bestselling classic Raising Cain One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out—in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships—is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S’s: • Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change. • Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions—both positive and negative—and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior. • Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone. • Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up—when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive! Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, illustrations, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations—when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this book is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.

From the authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline, an indispensable guide to unlocking your child’s innate capacity for resilience, compassion, and creativity. When facing contentious issues such as screen time, food choices, and bedtime, children often act out or shut down, responding with reactivity instead of receptivity. This is what New York Times bestselling authors Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson call a No Brain response. But our kids can be taught to approach life with openness and curiosity. When kids work from a Yes Brain, they’re more willing to take chances and explore. They’re more curious and imaginative. They’re better at relationships and handling adversity. In The Yes Brain, the authors give parents skills, scripts, and activities to bring kids of all ages into the beneficial “yes” state. You’ll learn • the four fundamentals of the Yes Brain—balance, resilience, insight, and empathy—and how to strengthen them • the key to knowing when kids need a gentle push out of a comfort zone vs. needing the “cushion” of safety and familiarity • strategies for navigating away from negative behavioral and emotional states (aggression and withdrawal) and expanding your child’s capacity for positivity The Yes Brain is an essential tool for nurturing positive potential and keeping your child’s inner spark glowing and growing strong. Praise for The Yes Brain “This unique and exciting book shows us how to help children embrace life with all of its challenges and thrive in the modern world. Integrating research from social development, clinical psychology, and neuroscience, it’s a veritable treasure chest of parenting insights and techniques.”—Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., author of Mindset “I have never read a better, clearer explanation of the impact parenting can have on a child’s brain and personality.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D. “Easily assimilated and informative, the book will help adults enable children to lead physically and emotionally satisfying and well-rounded lives filled with purpose and meaningful relationships. Edifying, easy-to-understand scientific research that shows the benefits that accrue when a child is encouraged to be inquisitive, spirited, and intrepid.”—Kirkus Reviews

Apply the best science to all your parenting decisions with this essential A–Z guide for your biggest questions and concerns from the New York Times bestselling co-author of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline Every baby- and toddler-care decision sends parents scrambling to do the right thing, and often down into the rabbit hole of conflicting advice. Dr. Tina Payne Bryson has sifted through the reliable research (including about all those old wives’ tales) and will help you make a manageable molehill out of the mountain of information and answer more than sixty common concerns and dilemmas, including • Breast or bottle? Or breast and bottle? Will that cause nipple confusion? • What’s the latest recommendation for introducing solids in light of potential allergies? • Should I sign us up for music and early-language classes? • What’s the evidence for and against circumcision? • When is the right time to wean my baby off her pacifier? • How do I get this child to sleep through the night?! Dr. Bryson boils things down with authority, demystifying the issues in three distinct sections: an objective summary of the schools of thought on the topic, including commonly held pros and cons; a clear and concise primer on “What the Science Says”; and a Bottom Line conclusion. When the science doesn’t point clearly in one direction, she guides you to assess and apply the information in a way that’s consistent with your family’s principles and meets your child’s unique needs. Full of warmth, expert wisdom, and blessedly bite-sized explanations, The Bottom Line for Baby will help you prioritize what you really need to know and do during the first year of precious life.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • More than 1 million copies in print! • The authors of No-Drama Discipline and The Yes Brain explain the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures in this pioneering, practical book. “Simple, smart, and effective solutions to your child’s struggles.”—Harvey Karp, M.D. In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain. No wonder kids throw tantrums, fight, or sulk in silence. By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth. Complete with age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives. “[A] useful child-rearing resource for the entire family . . . The authors include a fair amount of brain science, but they present it for both adult and child audiences.”—Kirkus Reviews “Strategies for getting a youngster to chill out [with] compassion.”—The Washington Post “This erudite, tender, and funny book is filled with fresh ideas based on the latest neuroscience research. I urge all parents who want kind, happy, and emotionally healthy kids to read The Whole-Brain Child. This is my new baby gift.”—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia and The Shelter of Each Other “Gives parents and teachers ideas to get all parts of a healthy child’s brain working together.”—Parent to Parent

In this easy-to-read, science-based book, parents, caregivers, and adults of all kinds discover how discipline affects children’s development, why intervention should reinforce connection not separation, and why the disciplinary strategies that may have been used on us as children are not the ones that children really need. As a practicing child and family psychologist and advisor to the British Columbia ministry of children and families, Dr. Vanessa has seen it all, and she has navigated hundreds of tough situations with families. Drawing on scientific research and a wealth of clinical experience, she shows you how to put out the fire without dampening your child’s spirits; how to correct their behavior while emphasizing connection; and how to discipline without damage.

“The most helpful book on childhood anxiety I have ever read.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D. Whether it’s the monster in the closet or the fear that arises from new social situations, school, or sports, anxiety can be especially challenging and maddening for children. And since anxiety has a mind of its own, logic and reassurance often fail, leaving parents increasingly frustrated about how to help. Now Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., the author of Playful Parenting, provides a special set of tools to handle childhood anxiety. Offering simple, effective strategies that build connection through fun, play, and empathy, Dr. Cohen helps parents • start from a place of warmth, compassion, and understanding • teach children the basics of the body’s “security system”: alert, alarm, assessment, and all clear. • promote tolerance of uncertainty and discomfort by finding the balance between outright avoidance and “white-knuckling” through a fear • find lighthearted ways to release tension in the moment, labeling stressful emotions on a child-friendly scale • tackle their own anxieties so they can stay calm when a child is distressed • bring children out of their anxious thoughts and into their bodies by using relaxation, breathing, writing, drawing, and playful roughhousing With this insightful resource of easy-to-implement solutions and strategies, you and your child can experience the opposite of worry, anxiety, and fear and embrace connection, trust, and joy. Praise for The Opposite of Worry “The Opposite of Worry is an informative resource for parents and other family members. The book is easy to read, comprehensive and notable for its many practical suggestions.”—New England Psychologist “Good advice for parents making daily calls to the pediatrician . . . Anxiety is a full-body sport, and Cohen’s main advice is not to treat it with words but with actions. . . . Physicality is about living in the present, and for anxious people, the present is a powerful place of healing. Intended for parents of children ages 3 to 15, this book offers anecdotes and fun anti-anxiety games.”—Publishers Weekly “Here’s the help parents of anxious children have been looking for! Dr. Cohen’s genius is in the warm and generous spirit of the strategies he outlines for parents. He grounds his playful approach in a sound explanation of how anxiety affects children, and how they heal. Parents will come away with plenty of ideas to help them develop their children’s confidence. While reading, I found myself thinking, ‘I’d like to try that for myself!’”—Patty Wipfler, founder and program director, Hand in Hand Parenting “If you want to understand your child’s anxiety—and your own parental worries—you must read Larry Cohen’s brilliant book, The Opposite of Worry. Dr. Cohen is one of the most imaginative and thoughtful psychologists you will ever encounter. He explains how and why children become anxious and then shows how we can use empathy and play to help them escape from the terrifying dark corners of childhood.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D. “The Opposite of Worry offers a treasure trove of ideas to help children feel confident and secure. Lawrence Cohen has written a book that will help every parent of an anxious child.”—Aletha Solter, Ph.D., founder, Aware Parenting, and author of Attachment Play