Parenting Illustrated With Crappy Pictures

"The drawings aren't very good, Mama." —Crappy Boy, age 5 Of course you love being a parent. But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up. This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.

"Funny and flattering quote from loving, supportive, perfect husband." –Crappy Husband MARRIAGE: ILLUSTRATED WITH CRAPPY PICTURES provides much–needed laughs about coping with another person's hygiene habits, cleaning rituals (including their ritual of not cleaning), financial decisions, cooking quirks and everything else that makes your spouse (weird and annoying) special and perfect in every way.

An alpaca knitting? Hedgehogs in a hot air balloon? How about a peacock at a tea party or a gnome family relaxing in a hammock? This coloring book is fun for the whole family to color! Features 56 pages printed on one side only.

From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures). Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself: -How do I know if my kid is ready? -Why won’t my child poop in the potty? -How do I avoid “potty power struggles”? -How can I get their daycare provider on board? -My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? -And what about nighttime?! Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.

Real-world, from-the-trenches toddler parenting advice from the author of the bestselling Oh Crap! Potty Training. Toddlers—commonly defined as children aged between two and five years old—can be a horribly misunderstood bunch. What most parents view as bad behavior is in fact just curious behavior. Toddlerdom is the age of individuation, seeking control, and above all, learning how the world works. But this misunderstanding between parents and child can lead to power struggles, tantrums, and even diminished growth and creativity. The recent push of early intellectualism coupled with a desire to “make childhood magical” has created a strange paradox—we have three-year-olds with math and Mandarin tutors who don’t know how to dress themselves and are sitting in their own poop. We are pushing the toddler mind beyond its limit but simultaneously keeping them far below their own natural capabilities. In the frank, funny, and totally authentic Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler, social worker Jamie Glowacki helps parents work through what she considers the five essential components of raising toddlers: —Engaging the toddler mind —Working with the toddler body —Understanding and dealing with the toddler behavior —Creating a good toddler environment —You, the parent Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler is about doing more with less—and bringing real childhood back from the brink of over-scheduled, over-stimulated, helicopter parenting. With her signature down-and-dirty, friend-to-friend advice, Jamie is here to help you experience the joy of parenting again and giving your child—and yourself—the freedom to let them grow at their own pace and become who they are.

"In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who's best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children--everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers' communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four year olds ("there is no difference between a four year old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor"). Reminiscent of Bill Cosby's Fatherhood, Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home"--

A pictorial tribute to the filthy, distasteful, gross, and painful moments of parenthood, and the children who make it all possible. Kids: they are the light of your life—and the enemy of all things fragile, intact, and clean. But why cry over spilt milk . . . or paint . . . or the entire contents of a full-size swimming pool? A testament to the messiness of childhood (and parenting), and a memorial to the household items that perished along the way, here are never-before-seen photos and outrageous stories of VCRs jammed with toys, toilets clogged with clothes, and furniture accented with permanent marker. Torn-up computer keyboards and torn-out hair, botched family photos and mustard-covered treadmills—nothing is off limits to your darling, destructive offspring. So raise a broken glass and embrace the madness, because laughter is the only surefire way to keep your sh*t together.

The popular blogger, illustrator, mother, and author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures delves into special quirks of marriage. In Marriage: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, Amber Dusick shares real stories of real life with her real husband. She provides much-needed laughs about coping with another person’s hygiene habits, cleaning rituals (including their ritual of not cleaning), financial decisions, cooking styles and everything else that makes your spouse weird and annoying special and perfect in every way. “Funny and flattering quote from loving, supportive, perfect husband.” —Crappy Husband