People I Want To Punch In The Throat

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

If you've ever toiled away in a cubicle or sat through the third meeting your boss scheduled to plan another meeting, then you can relate to this book. This is the third book in Jen Mann's New York Times best-selling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint!This is the book you'll want to accidentally on purpose leave on the desk of that blowhard in marketing. This is the book you'll just happen to drop next the microwave in the break room hoping that Jan in accounting reads it before she reheats last night's smelly leftovers for lunch. This is the book you'll mail anonymously to your micromanaging boss with certain passages highlighted.The Punch List:Company-wide happy hours. I barely want to work with you. I definitely don't want to have a beer with you.The Ivy Leaguers. You do know every sentence doesn't have to start with, "When I was at Princeton?"?The martyrs. You get sick days-use one. Stop dragging your sniffling, snorting, coughing, sneezing ass to work and infecting the rest of us. You're not that important.

A smart, personal, darkly funny examination of what it’s like to be a woman at the crossroads of a midlife crisis, from the New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat “I inhaled this book in one sitting; it’s a must-read for anyone over forty. This should become the gift all girlfriends give one another.”—Zibby Owens, host of the award-winning podcast Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books Jen Mann had what appeared to be the perfect life: a successful career as a bestselling author and award-winning blogger, a devoted husband, teenage kids who weren’t total jerks, and a badass minivan. So imagine her surprise when, at forty-seven years old, a midlife crisis kicked her straight in the ladybits. Midlife Bites offers Jen’s trademark wit and honesty when it comes to important conversations and observations about women in midlife. Here, readers will be able to come together and find anecdotes and practical ideas to help navigate through this major point in their lives. For women who may feel isolated or overlooked, this collection of original essays offers valuable insights, takeaways, and, most important, a productive way forward. Jen shares her own story as well as advice and wisdom from the online community she built, tackling everything that bites about midlife, where nothing is off-limits: raging hormones; sex (after forty); finding your purpose; learning to make new friends (yes, even as a grown-up); moving out of your comfort zone; having conversations that count, no more small talk; and how to deal with rogue chin hairs (and other nuisances). Jen Mann is leading the movement to create a new space where middle-aged women can share openly and honestly with one another. This no-BS collection of essays will help start the conversation and keep it going, because as women, we all have a right to be happy, fulfilled, and whole, no matter what stage of life.

Have you ever returned from a vacation and felt like you needed a vacation from your vacation? That's how New York Times bestselling author Jen Mann always feels.Packing a suitcase, putting on pants, and leaving the house already sounds like a lot of work, but then you have to deal with the punch list:Delayed flights.Center seats.People who think bare feet on an airplane is a good idea.Kids who don't use headphones.Dicey hotel rooms.Crappy wifi.Food poisoning.Plus the constant reminder that you've paid a fortune for this experience.This is the fourth book in Jen Mann's New York Times bestselling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint!You'll want to pack a copy of this book in your carry-on so you can prop it over your face while you're napping--perfect for keeping the talkers at bay. You'll want to read it out loud on your next road trip--great for drowning out all the fighting in the backseat. And you'll want to have it handy when there's a three-hour wait at the amusement park--excellent for keeping your mind off how much you paid to stand in the heat for a rollercoaster just to make some f*cking memories.

Subtitle on cover: A collection of hilarious essays about motherhood.

An Instant New York Times Bestseller! Winner of the Coretta Scott King - John Steptoe for New Talent Author Award Filled with mystery and an intriguingly rich magic system, Tracy Deonn’s YA contemporary fantasy reinvents the King Arthur legend and “braids together Southern folk traditions and Black Girl Magic into a searing modern tale of grief, power, and self-discovery” (Dhonielle Clayton, New York Times bestselling author of The Belles). After her mother dies in an accident, sixteen-year-old Bree Matthews wants nothing to do with her family memories or childhood home. A residential program for bright high schoolers at UNC–Chapel Hill seems like the perfect escape—until Bree witnesses a magical attack her very first night on campus. A flying demon feeding on human energies. A secret society of so called “Legendborn” students that hunt the creatures down. And a mysterious teenage mage who calls himself a “Merlin” and who attempts—and fails—to wipe Bree’s memory of everything she saw. The mage’s failure unlocks Bree’s own unique magic and a buried memory with a hidden connection: the night her mother died, another Merlin was at the hospital. Now that Bree knows there’s more to her mother’s death than what’s on the police report, she’ll do whatever it takes to find out the truth, even if that means infiltrating the Legendborn as one of their initiates. She recruits Nick, a self-exiled Legendborn with his own grudge against the group, and their reluctant partnership pulls them deeper into the society’s secrets—and closer to each other. But when the Legendborn reveal themselves as the descendants of King Arthur’s knights and explain that a magical war is coming, Bree has to decide how far she’ll go for the truth and whether she should use her magic to take the society down—or join the fight.

"I considered myself a teacher right up to the moment they removed my voice box. After that, I wasn't sure." Drew Ross grew up as the typical lost and wandering latchkey kid. Along with his siblings, he shuffled from his mother to his grandparents, to his father, and back again. In the midst of a chaotic, ever-changing universe, he remained determined to find love and belonging, eventually doing his best to build his own happy family. But even though he was a teacher and preacher, Drew lost his marriage, career, and voice in the space of one horrible year. All the lessons he'd learned and taught others were powerless to help him hold it all together. While recovering in a hospital bed shortly after his voice box has been removed, a powerful encounter with a fellow cancer patient forces Drew to look at the pain of his past in a new light. Choosing to fight rather than to run and hide, he begins tracing the threads that are coming together to form the fabric of his future. By sharing a tapestry of heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and often hilarious lessons involving family, romance, and identity, How to Survive a Throat Punch is a call to everyone enduring hardship to share their victories and failures, and, in doing so, begin to fight for what matters most. Drew Ross has been teaching in one form or another for over 25 years. He has instructed groups in military, advertising, secondary education, ministry, and corporate settings. His students have gone on to found an advertising agency in Brazil, graduate from Harvard Law School, get commissioned in the US Army, and experience other amazing adventures. Drew hopes he had some small part to play in their stories. He lives and continues to teach and write in the hills of Northern Kentucky. How to Survive a Throat Punch is his first book.

The second volume in the best-selling I Just Want to Pee Alone series! Don't get us wrong, we love the men in our lives -- we do (most of the time). It's just that sometimes we would like them to go away. Not forever or anything like that. Just for an hour ... or a day ... or a weekend. We want some time to ourselves to read a good book or take a walk or do anything other than try to make a dent in the never ending mound of dirty clothes that keeps piling up on his side of the bed. We just want to be alone. All alone. Is that too much to ask? I Just Want to Be Alone is a collection of humorous essays from 37 of the most Super Cool Lady Writers you'll find on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Baby Sideburns, A.K. Turner, My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream, and Bad Parenting Moments.