Texts From Dog

Presents a humorous collection of texts between man and dog.

Texts from Mittens is a series of text message conversations between a snappy, self-absorbed housecat named Mittens and his long-suffering human, a single woman who works away from home during the day. Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the “filthy beast” dog, Phil. Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers’ Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats. “Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!” —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy "Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!” —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed "We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los Angeles Come home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants! FYI: Poly-blend makes your butt look big

A bestselling modern classic—both poignant and funny—narrated by a fifteen year old autistic savant obsessed with Sherlock Holmes, this dazzling novel weaves together an old-fashioned mystery, a contemporary coming-of-age story, and a fascinating excursion into a mind incapable of processing emotions. Christopher John Francis Boone knows all the countries of the world and their capitals and every prime number up to 7,057. Although gifted with a superbly logical brain, Christopher is autistic. Everyday interactions and admonishments have little meaning for him. At fifteen, Christopher’s carefully constructed world falls apart when he finds his neighbour’s dog Wellington impaled on a garden fork, and he is initially blamed for the killing. Christopher decides that he will track down the real killer, and turns to his favourite fictional character, the impeccably logical Sherlock Holmes, for inspiration. But the investigation leads him down some unexpected paths and ultimately brings him face to face with the dissolution of his parents’ marriage. As Christopher tries to deal with the crisis within his own family, the narrative draws readers into the workings of Christopher’s mind. And herein lies the key to the brilliance of Mark Haddon’s choice of narrator: The most wrenching of emotional moments are chronicled by a boy who cannot fathom emotions. The effect is dazzling, making for one of the freshest debut in years: a comedy, a tearjerker, a mystery story, a novel of exceptional literary merit that is great fun to read.

Everyone loves an underdog, and nothing gives us warmer feelings than seeing someone get a second chance in life. A problem pup who flourishes under the right kind of training. The struggling veteran who finds unconditional love wiggling around at the end of a leash. The lonely child who finds comfort in the steady breathing of the warm, furry friend at her side. Each of us needs to be rescued from something--and each of us has the capacity to rescue someone, or something, else. This collection of more than thirty contemporary, true, feel-good stories spotlights the beauty of being rescued--dogs rescued by people, people rescued by dogs, and even dogs who rescue other animals. It's the perfect companion--well, besides the four-legged, tail-wagging kind--for your morning cup of coffee or an evening curled up on the couch. Contributors include Susy Flory, Dusty Rainbolt, Lauraine Snelling, Melody Carlson, Wanda Dyson, Suzanne Woods Fisher, and many more.

These are a collection of 20 stories, dictated in 1941 to Bloomfield's linguistics class, edited from manuscripts now in the National Anthropological Archives at the Smithsonian Institution, and published for the first time. In Ojibwe, with English translations by Bloomfield. Ojibwe-English glossary and other linguistic study aids.

A family story for the twenty-first century, based on the phenomenally popular Texts from Bennett Tumblr blog, this epistolary novel chronicles the year that Bennett and the rest of his freeloading family moved into his cousin Mac's household. Hardworking Kansas City rapper Mac Lethal has a problem, and its name is Bennett. His wannabe gangsta cousin is seventeen, uses drugs and foul language, claims to be 13 percent black, and swears he speaks "da female language." (Strangely that last one sort of seems true.) But as different as they are, when Bennett and his mom lose their home, Mac’s got their backs. They’re family after all. Sure, it takes patience to live with the eternally smoked-out Bennett and the pill-popped Aunt Lily, but he can handle it. You know who can’t? Mac’s very pretty, very WASPy, very uptight girlfriend. So as his once-peaceful household gets completely crazy, Mac learns that wanna-be-Crips are thicker than water, that his little cousin—flawed, irreverent, and basically a Saturday morning cartoon gone horribly wrong—has become his mentor, and that he really has no idea what’s up with girls.

Half of me was thinking, Georgina, don't do this. Stealing a dog is just plain wrong. The other half of me was thinking, Georgina, you're in a bad fix and you got to do whatever it takes to get yourself out of it. Georgina Hayes is desperate. Ever since her father left and they were evicted from their apartment, her family has been living in their car. With her mama juggling two jobs and trying to make enough money to find a place to live, Georgina is stuck looking after her younger brother, Toby. And she has her heart set on improving their situation. When Georgina spots a missing-dog poster with a reward of five hundred dollars, the solution to all her problems suddenly seems within reach. All she has to do is "borrow" the right dog and its owners are sure to offer a reward. What happens next is the last thing she expected. With unmistakable sympathy, Barbara O'Connor tells the story of a young girl struggling to see what's right when everything else seems wrong. How to Steal a Dog is a 2008 Bank Street - Best Children's Book of the Year. This title has Common Core connections.

How do you draw your smelly dog? Your playful daddy? Your yummy mommy? See how one girl does it in this simple, clever picture book that's comprised of family portraits made out of objects. For example, her baby brother is so noisy—he's as loud as a whistle, a horn, and even a fire truck!—that she creates a picture of him with whistles for eyes, a horn mouth, and holding a fire truck. After the girl has described everyone in her family (including herself, in great detail), she asks, "What does your special family look like?" encouraging readers to create their own portraits. With a list of objects at the end of the book to use as a guide, this is the ideal choice for budding artists everywhere. Here's a wonderful exploration of simile and metaphor for young readers. And don't miss the companion book My Best Friend is as Sharp as a Pencil!