The Anger Trap

It's easy to identify rage in people who lose their temper at traffic jams, unruly children, unresponsive coworkers, and unrealistic bosses. But we may not recognize more subtle manifestations of anger, such as being uncomfortable with loose ends, acting impatiently, or being overly critical. That is anger, too. And, as is so often the case, angry folks don't seem to realize that the behavior causing them problems at home or at work actually stems from unrecognized and unresolved pain and emotional injuries from the past. Is all this negative emotion inevitable, or are there choices about how to respond, choices that can improve personal relationships as well as emotional health? The Anger Trap is a landmark book that strips away the myths and misconceptions about anger and reveals how you can learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anger so that you may choose—or help someone else to choose—a better, more spiritually enlightened path. The Anger Trap examines the root causes of anger and can help you realize your patterns and break the destructive cycles of criticism, frustration, and irritation that hurt you and others around you. Drawing insight from timeless spiritual wisdom as well as cutting-edge research, Dr. Carter offers practical techniques to free you from anger, its hidden insecurities, fears, and selfishness and thereby improve the quality of your home and workplace life. The book clearly illustrates how the change process works and The Anger Trap is filled with real-life examples of the ways people have come to terms with their anger by applying the concepts Dr. Carter outlines.

Drop the Rope in Your Tug-of-War with Anger If you've tried to control problem anger before with little success, this book offers you a fundamentally new approach and new hope. Instead of struggling even harder to manage or eliminate your anger, you can stop anger feelings from determining who you are and how you live your life. Based on a revolutionary psychological approach called acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), the techniques in ACT on Life Not on Anger can help you let go of anger and start living your life to the fullest. Your path begins as you learn to accept your angry feelings as they occur, without judging or trying to manage them. Then, using techniques based in mindfulness practice, you'll discover how to observe your feelings of anger without acting on them. Value-identification exercises help you figure out what truly matters to you so that you can commit to short- and long-term goals that turn your values into reality. In the process, anger will lose power over your life-and, amazingly, you'll gain control over your life by simply letting go of your angry feelings.

A Guide to Healthy Anger Expression How do you express your anger? Do you blow up? Quietly seethe? Or do you try to pretend that you're really not angry at all and just hope the feelings will go away? Most of us express anger in more than one way, but we also tend to be creatures of habit, falling back on a few predictable styles when we feel angry. Unfortunately, while some styles are appropriate in some situations, others are not—and consistently using an inappropriate style is a sure way to find yourself saddled with a huge anger problem. This book examines the eleven most common styles of anger expression and helps you learn how to communicate your anger in healthy ways. Learn which anger styles work for different situations—and which ones lead to certain disaster. Find out how to become more flexible and creative at expressing your anger. Once you understand the whole range of anger styles, you'll be able to better manage angry feelings and use your anger as a positive force for building a better life.

While people pleasers can be some of the nicest people you'll meet, they have an uncanny knack for finding themselves in relationships with controllers. Knowing how pleasers are motivated by duty and obligation, the controllers will persuade, cajole, argue, and convince, knowing they can erode the resolve of the pleaser rather quickly. This, of course, leaves the pleaser with residual feelings of hurt, anxiety, and resentment. Because pleasers are not as skilled in the art of coercion as the controller, they can collapse in feelings of futility. In the book, When Pleasing You Is Killing Me, Dr. Les Carter explains how the pleaser can become freed from futility by choosing to stay out of the controller's power games altogether. Drawing upon decades of counseling with a wide array of frustrated nice people, Dr. Carter gives sound direction to those seeking to reclaim their true selves. Relationship boundaries are explained, assertiveness is taught, and insights are offered as the reader is guided into a paradigm shift regarding the ways to respond to a controller.

Those who are in the unenviable position of living or working with a narcissist have learned by sad trial and error that they are the only one in the relationship who can change the dynamic. Certainly narcissists don’t think they need to change. Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me is a hands-on resource for helping colleagues, families, and spouses deal with people who exhibit narcissistic tendencies by learning how to change their own attitudes and responses.

If you’ve picked up this book, chances are you’re someone with a serious anger problem. Your explosive temper has probably cost you jobs, friends, loved ones—maybe even your liberty. If it hasn’t yet, it soon will, unless you do something about it. This book contains a powerful and straightforward system for taking control of your anger and your life. This program is not easy, and it might even be painful at times—but it works. The book will teach you how your anger escalates and what you can do to change your angry thoughts and behaviors. Then it’s your turn. When you make and keep that promise to yourself to stay calm no matter what, the happier, safer life you want will become a possibility. With this book, you'll be able to: •Identify the causes of your anger •Avoid violence, blaming, and threats •Stay calm one day at a time •Change anger-provoking thoughts •Ask for what you want without anger

Has your relationship become a battlefield? Does your partner's sarcasm, irritability, or hostility make you wonder where the closeness and trust have gone—and how much more you can take? If anger is poisoning your relationship, this book offers a powerful antidote. Anger expert W. Robert Nay provides clear-cut, practical techniques for responding productively to inappropriate expressions of anger. Learn how anger gains a foothold in a couple's life, why your usual responses may unwittingly reward bad behavior, and how to stand up for yourself in ways that promote lasting change. Self-quizzes and step-by-step suggestions for dealing with different types of angry behavior are illustrated with true-to-life examples. Grounded in psychological science, the strategies in this book are simple yet surprisingly effective. Try them for yourself—and for the person you love. See also Dr. Nay's Taking Charge of Anger, Second Edition, which helps you understand and manage destructive anger in all its forms, and The Anger Management Workbook: Use the STOP Method to Replace Destructive Responses with Constructive Behavior, which builds core anger management skills using interactive exercises.

Be honest, guys: Have you ever made a foolish or harmful decision when angry? Have you ever said or done something in the heat of the moment that you wish you could take back? Or do you tend to keep your anger hidden, choosing to bury the feeling and hoping it just goes away? No matter how often you get angry, or how you express it, Bill Perkins (best-selling author of When Good Men Are Tempted and 6 Rules Every Man Must Break) has written this book to provide you with the insight and biblical strategy you need to deal with this crucial issue (as well as help for the women in your life who are walking through the anger with you). Illustrated with research-based statistics and real-life stories of men who have successfully dealt with anger, When Good Men Get Angry explores the foundations of anger—what it is, where it comes from, how Jesus expressed it, and how the new and good man in you can control it.