The Baby Owners Manual

At last! A beginner's guide to newborn baby technology, complete with step-by-step instructions, FAQs, and schematics, from a board-certified pediatrician and his son (an older model). Congratulations—you’ve just acquired one of life’s biggest technological marvels: a newborn baby! New owners have so many questions: How do I handle sleep malfunctions? When should I bring the baby to a doctor for servicing? What transportation accessories do I need? New users will get plenty of useful advice on: PREPARATION AND HOME INSTALLATION: How to store your baby properly GENERAL CARE: Effective techniques for handling, holding, and comforting the baby FEEDING: An in-depth guide to your baby’s power supply, from breastfeeding to solid food PROGRAMMING SLEEP MODE: How to Configure baby’s sleeping area and manage issues such as overstimulation GENERAL MAINTENANCE: Keep that new baby smell fresh with tips on sanitation and care, such as diaper installation and cleaning GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT: Perform user testing on baby’s reflexes, note and track milestones, plus advanced motor and sensory skills SAFETY AND EMERGENCY MAINTENANCE: Monitor baby’s health, tackle childproofing, learn life-saving procedures, plus get fixes for minor issues such as cradle cap and diaper rash Whatever your concerns, celebrated pediatrician Dr. Louis Borgenight and his son, Joe Borgenicht, provide plenty of useful advice for anyone who wants to learn the basics of childcare.

At Last! A Beginner’s Guide to Home Technology Water stains on your ceiling. Dents and cracks in your drywall. Radiators that hiss and gurgle all night long. It’s enough to make you cry out, “Why doesn’t my house come with an owner’s manual?” And now—finally!—it does. Through step-by-step instructions and helpful schematic diagrams, The Home Owner’s Manual explores hundreds of frequently asked questions: What’s the best way to fix a leaky faucet? When should I have my chimney cleaned? How can I reset a circuit breaker without electrocuting myself? Whatever your concerns, you’ll find the answers here—courtesy of licensed building contractor Dan Ramsey, who has taught the basics of renovation to thousands of homeowners.

For fathers and their partners, a humorous laugh-out-loud introduction to the chaotic world of parenting, packaged as a retro car manual Regardless of the model you have taken delivery of, your baby will have certain standard equipment in common with all babies, and some which vary from model to model. No two Mother Nature Heavy Industries (MNHI) babies are identical. A humorous operating guide for fathers, this book likens a new baby to the other love in a man's life--no, not his wife, his car This essential handbook covers everything from delivery of baby from Mother Nature Heavy Industries, regular servicing of your baby, standard equipment, the cooling system and liquid waste disposal, warning signs, even optimizing economy, and getting the most out of your baby. This is a must-have book for any father-to-be.

Fatherhood demystified! Finally: a manual for new dads that deciphers the immensely confusing world of fatherhood and gives crucial tips and advice from a man's point of view. No psychobabble, no warm fuzzies -- just a hilarious (and surprisingly practical) military-style guide to surviving and thriving through even the queasiest moments of pregnancy, birth, and babyhood. Seasoned father and master infant-tamer Scott Mactavish breaks the Baby Code down and lays it out in straight-up guyspeak. The New Dad's Survival Guide includes declassified information on such topics as: Cutting the Cord: The Moment of Truth Feeding and Cleaning the NFU (New Family Unit) Surviving Sleep Deprivation Relieving Stress Without Booze The Great Boob Irony Pee, Poo, Hurl, and Snot: Getting Used to the Bodily Functions Critical Survival Tips Never Before Revealed Sex: Let the Games Begin Again...Finally Dozens of Essential Terms Defined, Including Binky, Onesie, Diaper Genie, Passy, and Sippy Cup Grab your boots and strap on your helmet! The babies are coming!

An indispensable survival manual for men entering the trenches of fatherhood, Be Prepared is loaded with one-of-a-kind insights, MacGyver-esque tips and tricks, and no-nonsense advice for mastering the first year as a dad. Finally, a book that teaches men all the things they really need to know about fatherhood...including how to: -Change a baby at a packed sports stadium -Create a decoy drawer full of old wallets, remote controls, and cell phones to throw baby off the scent of your real gear -Stay awake (or at least upright) at work -Babyproof a hotel room in four minutes flat -Construct an emergency diaper out of a towel, a sock, and duct tape Packed with helpful diagrams and detailed instructions, and delivered with a wry sense of humor, Be Prepared is the ultimate guide for sleep-deprived, applesauce-covered fathers everywhere.

At last—a beginner’s guide to feline technology! The cat parent’s guide to common kitty quirks and what they really mean—featuring useful diagrams and hilarious insights! Scratch marks on your furniture. Dead mice on your doorstep. Stray hairs all over your clothes. It’s enough to make you cry out, “Why doesn’t my cat have an owner’s manual?” And now—finally!—she does. Through step-by-step instructions and helpful schematic diagrams, The Cat Owner’s Manual explores hundreds of frequently asked questions: • Which breeds interface best with dogs? • How can I maintain a quality exterior finish? • And why does my model always drink from the bathtub? Whatever your concerns, you’ll find the answers here—courtesy of celebrated veterinarian Dr. David Brunner and acclaimed author Sam Stall. Together, they provide plenty of useful advice for both new and experienced cat owners.

At Last! A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding Teens Hormones. Rebellion. Moodiness. Peer pressure. No parent can be fully prepared for all the challenges associated with adolescence. Fortunately, The Teen Owner’s Manual is here to answer your most pressing questions: How can I teach my teenager to make smart decisions? How do I keep her safe on the Web? How do I get him to communicate? How and when should I talk to her about sex? Whatever your concerns, you’ll find the answers right here—courtesy of parenting author Sarah Jordan and adolescent medicine specialist Dr. Janice Hillman.