The Bad Beginning

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . In The Bad Beginning the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast. Then again, why trouble yourself with the unfortunate resolutions? With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy. Are you made fainthearted by death? Does fire unnerve you? Is a villain something that might crop up in future nightmares of yours? Are you thrilled by nefarious plots? Is cold porridge upsetting to you? Vicious threats? Hooks? Uncomfortable clothing? It is likely that your answers will reveal A Series of Unfortunate Events to be ill-suited for your personal use. A librarian, bookseller, or acquaintance should be able to suggest books more appropriate for your fragile temperament. But to the rarest of readers we say, "Proceed, but cautiously."

A Newbery Medal Winner Richard Peck's Newbery Medal-winning sequel to A Long Way from Chicago Mary Alice's childhood summers in Grandma Dowdel's sleepy Illinois town were packed with enough drama to fill the double bill of any picture show. But now she is fifteen, and faces a whole long year with Grandma, a woman well known for shaking up her neighbors-and everyone else! All Mary Alice can know for certain is this: when trying to predict how life with Grandma might turn out . . . better not. This wry, delightful sequel to the Newbery Honor Book A Long Way from Chicago has already taken its place among the classics of children's literature. "Hilarious and poignant." —Publishers Weekly, starred review A Newbery Medal Winner A New York Times Bestseller An ALA Notable Book An ALA Best Book for Young Adults A Booklist Best Book of the Year A School Library Journal Best Book of the Year

Wintertime is here, and that means it is bedtime for Bear. But Bear's friends don't think so. They want Bear to come and play outside in the snow. Bear can hear his friends calling. He hears them laughing and playing. Bear can't sleep. But it's bedtime! What is a bear to do?

This mysterious illustrated tie-in to Netflix's award-winning A Series of Unfortunate Events -- featuring an introduction by Count Olaf's legal representative, Neil Patrick Harris -- shares insider secrets about the Baudelaire family and the making of the show. In every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind... In this collector's companion you will discover never-before-seen photographs, never-before-told stories, and never-before, revealed secrets spanning all three seasons of the hilariously twisted, critically acclaimed hit series. You will encounter original concept art, annotated script excerpts, and interviews with the creative team and all-star cast, as well as glossaries, recipes, lyric sheets, hidden Easter eggs, shocking backstories, and suspicious pages from the titular tome, unredacted, and revealed here for the first time. Featuring interviews with: Tony Hale Daniel Handler Aasif Mandvi Sara Rue Barry Sonnenfeld Patrick Warburton Bo Welch Alfre Woodard and more... Perhaps you are wondering how a noble person such as yourself might become a member of a secret organization. Like so many things in life, it starts by picking up the right book. So go ahead, read at your own risk.

Forget Frosty the Snowman or Ruldolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The next great holiday hero is a small, flammable chunk of barbecue fodder. He's impeccably dressed, he's terribly grumpy, and he's looking for a holiday miracle. It's unmistakably Snicket - here's the opening line: This holiday season is a time for stoytelling, and whether you are hearing the story of a candelabra staying lit for more than a week, or a baby born in a barn without proper medical supervision, these stories often feature miracles.

The Bad Beginning is the first book in the globally bestselling series A Series of Unfortunate Events. This exclusive gold foiled 20th anniversary hardback gift edition commiserates the fact that this brilliantly funny book has been miserably longed for by every child in the world for the last twenty years. Perfect for fans of Roald Dahl and Mr Gum, young readers of 8 to 12 will adore the mischievously dark humour. A Series of Unfortunate Events' has been made into both a blockbuster Hollywood film starring Jim Carey and also a hit Netflix TV series. Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Bad Beginning, the siblings encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast. You have been warned... Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: 'Who Could That Be at This Hour?' 'When Did you Last See Her?' 'Shouldn't You Be in School?' 'Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?'

Dear Listener, You are presumably looking at the back of this audiobook, or the end of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you listen to the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope. This audiobook is the last in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and even if you braved the previous twelve volumes, you probably can't stand such unpleasantries as a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents. I also shouldn't mention the features of the interactive CD, which include: Perplexing word games Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives Art from The Brett Helquist gallery It has been my solemn occupation to complete the history of the Baudelaire orphans, and at last I am finished. You likely have some other occupation, so if I were you I would drop this audiobook at once, so the end does not finish you. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket