The Bitchy Waiter

At some point in their lives, millions of people have waited tables. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole server in a packed restaurant. For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa (a.k.a. the Bitchy Waiter) has your back. Since 2008 he s vented his frustrations about everything from entitled has-beens to what "really" goes on in that fancy restaurant in a popular blog. A snarky mix of Sedaris, Bourdain, Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales that anyone who worked in the industry will relate to."

Willy Wonka's famous chocolate factory is opening at last! But only five lucky children will be allowed inside. And the winners are: Augustus Gloop, an enormously fat boy whose hobby is eating; Veruca Salt, a spoiled-rotten brat whose parents are wrapped around her little finger; Violet Beauregarde, a dim-witted gum-chewer with the fastest jaws around; Mike Teavee, a toy pistol-toting gangster-in-training who is obsessed with television; and Charlie Bucket, Our Hero, a boy who is honest and kind, brave and true, and good and ready for the wildest time of his life!

According to The Waiter, eighty percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining twenty percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths. Waiter Rant offers the server's unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places. Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age thirty-eight, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he's truly thrived.

After a terrible car accident destroys her life as she knew it, twenty-year-old Kacey escapes to Florida, where she encounters an irresistible man determined to capture her wounded heart. Just breathe, Kacey. Ten tiny breaths. Seize them. Feel them. Love them. Four years ago, Kacey Cleary’s life imploded when her car was hit by a drunk driver, killing her parents, boyfriend, and best friend. Still haunted by memories of being trapped inside, listening to her mother take her last breath, Kacey wants to leave her past behind. Armed with two bus tickets, Kacey and her fifteen-year-old sister, Livie, escape Grand Rapids, Michigan, to start over in Miami. They’re struggling to make ends meet at first, but Kacey’s not worried. She can handle anything—anything but her mysterious neighbor in apartment 1D. Trent Emerson has smoldering blue eyes and deep dimples, and perfectly skates that irresistible line between nice guy and bad boy. Hardened by her tragic past, Kacey is determined to keep everyone at a distance, but their mutual attraction is undeniable, and Trent is desperate to find a way into Kacey’s guarded heart—even if it means revealing an explosive secret that could shatter both their worlds.

From the author of the bestselling Prozac Nation comes one of the most entertaining feminist manifestos ever written. In five brilliant extended essays, she links the lives of women as demanding and disparate as Amy Fisher, Hillary Clinton, Margaux Hemingway, and Nicole Brown Simpson. Wurtzel gives voice to those women whose lives have been misunderstood, who have been dismissed for their beauty, their madness, their youth. Bitch is a brilliant tract on the history of manipulative female behavior. By looking at women who derive their power from their sexuality, Wurtzel offers a trenchant cultural critique of contemporary gender relations. Beginning with Delilah, the first woman to supposedly bring a great man down (latter-day Delilahs include Yoko Ono, Pam Smart, Bess Myerson), Wurtzel finds many biblical counterparts to the men and women in today's headlines. She finds in the story of Amy Fisher the tragic plight of all Lolitas, our thirst for their brief and intense flame. She connects Hemingway's tragic suicide to those of Sylvia Plath, Edie Sedgwick, and Marilyn Monroe, women whose beauty was an end, ultimately, in itself. Wurtzel, writing about the wife/mistress dichotomy, explains how some women are anointed as wife material, while others are relegated to the role of mistress. She takes to task the double standard imposed on women, the cultural insistence on goodness and society's complete obsession with badness: what's a girl to do? Let's face it, if women were any real threat to male power, "Gennifer Flowers would be sitting behind the desk of the Oval Office," writes Wurtzel, "and Bill Clinton would be a lounge singer in the Excelsior Hotel in Little Rock." Bitch tells a tale both celebratory and cautionary as Wurtzel catalogs some of the most infamous women in history, defending their outsize desires, describing their exquisite loneliness, championing their take-no-prisoners approach to life and to love. Whether writing about Courtney Love, Sally Hemings, Bathsheba, Kimba Wood, Sharon Stone, Princess Di--or waxing eloquent on the hideous success of The Rules, the evil that is The Bridges of Madison County, the twisted logic of You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again--Wurtzel is back with a bitchography that cuts to the core. In prose both blistering and brilliant, Bitch is a treatise on the nature of desperate sexual manipulation and a triumph of pussy power.

Ah, retail. It has lured in the best of us with promises of employee discounts (a sham), the "fun" of working with people (not so much), and flexible hours (dont make me laugh). What we got instead: cranky customers, sadistic managers, idiotic coworkers, and, oh yeah, the hell that is doing inventory. But there are ways to lessen the pain, and this retail handbook will show you how. Inside youll learn how to handle the crazies (both customers and coworkers), feign product knowledge, and make the best of working the register, all the while, of course, pretending you care. This book takes years of retail experience and condenses it into a guide that is as funny as it is useful. If you work in retail now, have done so in the past, or plan to do so in the future: this is the book for you.

A young man describes his torment as he struggles to reconcile the diverse influences of Western culture and the traditions of his own Japanese heritage

Kathy Garver, the teenage heartthrob from the hit series Family Affair (1966–1971), was no one-hit wonder, but a journeywoman actress who appeared in such classic films as Night of the Hunter and The Ten Commandments long before she became a television icon. This memoir is a recollection of a working actress’s experiences, from the many films, television shows, and stage plays in which she performed, to her second career as a voice-over specialist in popular animated films and audiobooks. Featuring anecdotes, Hollywood history, and details of her relationships with such stars as Charlton Heston and Jon Provost, Surviving Cissy is a veritable quilt of Kathy’s exciting life.