Why Does He Do That

In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health

In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health

From the bestselling author of Why Does He Do That? comes a relationship book that will help you make the decision of whether or not your troubled relationship is worth saving. Every relationship has problems, but you can’t figure out if yours is beyond hope. How bad is too bad—and can your partner really change? Now, in this warm, supportive, and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft and women’s advocate JAC Patrissi offer a way for you to practically and realistically take stock of your relationship and move forward. If you’re involved in a chronically frustrating or unfulfilling relationship, the advice and exercises in this book will help you learn to: • Tell the difference between a healthy—yet difficult—relationship and one that is really not working • Recognize the signs that your partner has serious problems • Stop waiting to see what will happen—and make your own growth the top priority • Design a clear plan of action for you and your partner • Navigate the waters of a relationship that’s improving • Prepare for life without your partner, even as you keep trying to make life work with them

Lundy Bancroft expands on his bestseller Why Does He Do That? in this daily guide that empowers women who are suffering in abusive relationships. Even if you’ve read Why Does He Do That?, it may be hard to see the truth of what is happening to you. You may feel overwhelmed by confusion, loss, and fear, and find yourself looking away from the truth and falling back into traumatic patterns. What you need is something that is there for you every day—to help you make a long series of little changes that will ultimately add up to a big one. Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It is a tool you can use to learn how to value and respect yourself—even when your partner makes it very clear that he does not. With seven themes designed to encourage and inspire, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? will help you digest what is happening one day at a time, so that you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom. You will see the truth in your destructive relationship. You and your children will survive. And—with these encouragements—even tomorrow will be a better day than today.

“Every woman who is struggling to understand the mistreatment she is experiencing in her relationship should begin by reading [this] wonderful book.”—Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? What do you do when the one you love hurts you? Have you been searching for answers to difficult questions about your relationship? Do you feel confused about why your partner seems loving one moment and angry the next? Summoning the courage to ask these challenging questions can seem daunting. You know something is wrong in your relationship, but you are not sure what. If you are beginning to wonder if you are experiencing abuse, this book can offer you support, information, and, most of all, hope as you look for answers. Written by two women with a wealth of experience supporting victims of abuse, When Love Hurts introduces exercises and resources to help you make sense of your relationship, addressing all forms of abuse, including verbal, emotional, financial, sexual, and physical. This practical guidebook is a supportive and nonjudgmental friend to those who don’t know where to turn and is filled with stories from women who have been in the same position. By drawing on your own wisdom and that of the many others who have shared your experience, When Love Hurts can help you find the answers you have been looking for.

Written by a therapist who specializes in abusive men, this guide reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children—and how mothers can help their children recover from the trauma of witnessing abuse. Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it’s physical or “just” emotional abuse, whether it’s aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you. This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to: • Protect children and help them heal emotionally • Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse • Increase their chances of winning custody • Help their kids feel good about themselves “A must-read for every mother who has been abused...it offers the knowledge women need to protect their children and help them heal.”—William S. Pollack, Ph.D., author of the national bestseller Real Boys

Why does he forget my birthday? Why does she have so many pairs of shoes? Why doesn't he listen to me? Why does she give me the silent treatment? in Why Does He Do That? Why Does She Do That? noted relationship experts Dr. Paula Bloom and Dr. Reef Karim reveal how to make romantic relationships work by better understanding what you really need to know about the opposite sex. Using a lively Q & A format, they show what issues large and small can wreak havoc with a couple and how to understand the mixed signals that men and women sometimes give one another in this lively, entertaining, and no-holds-barred guide, you ll learn surprising answers to a wide range of questions covering all aspects of a relationship, including : Who should pay on a date and why? How to deal with failure to launch and other sexual misfires. How to know whether you re ready for the big M (not marriage monogamy!) How to fight fair and make up instead of breaking up. Why Does He Do That? Why Does She Do That? is for smart women who want to be savvy about love and for caring men who want to understand women better. If you re in a relationship or you want to be this book could save your (love) life!