Wired For Love

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider's guide to understanding a partner's brain and promoting love and trust within a romantic relationship. Readers learn ten scientific principles they can use to avoid triggering fear and panic in their partners, manage their partners' emotional reactions when they do become upset, and recognize when the brain's threat response is hindering their ability to act in a loving way. By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a ""warring brain"" mentality and toward a more cooperative ""loving brain"" understanding of the relationship. Based in the sound science of neurobiology, attachment theory, and emotion regulation research, this book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.

In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate. Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship. Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life. If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.

From the world’s foremost neuroscientist of romantic love comes a personal story of connection and heartbreak that brings new understanding to an old truth: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. At thirty-seven, Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo was content to be single. She was fulfilled by her work on the neuroscience of romantic love—how finding and growing with a partner literally reshapes our brains. That was, until she met the foremost neuroscientist of loneliness. A whirlwind romance led to marriage and to sharing an office at the University of Chicago. After seven years of being inseparable at work and at home, Stephanie lost her beloved husband, John, following his intense battle with cancer. In Wired for Love, Stephanie tells not just a science story but also a love story. She shares revelatory insights into how and why we fall in love, what makes love last, and how we process love lost—all grounded in cutting-edge findings in brain chemistry and behavioral science. Woven through it all is her moving personal story, from astonishment to unbreakable bond to grief and healing. Her experience and her work enrich each other, creating a singular blend of science and lyricism that’s essential reading for anyone looking for connection.

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. Strengthen your relationship by: • Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” • Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected • Learning to fight so that nobody loses • Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.

This guide reveals how writers can utilize cognitive storytelling strategies to craft stories that ignite readers’ brains and captivate them through each plot element. Imagine knowing what the brain craves from every tale it encounters, what fuels the success of any great story, and what keeps readers transfixed. Wired for Story reveals these cognitive secrets—and it’s a game-changer for anyone who has ever set pen to paper. The vast majority of writing advice focuses on “writing well” as if it were the same as telling a great story. This is exactly where many aspiring writers fail—they strive for beautiful metaphors, authentic dialogue, and interesting characters, losing sight of the one thing that every engaging story must do: ignite the brain’s hardwired desire to learn what happens next. When writers tap into the evolutionary purpose of story and electrify our curiosity, it triggers a delicious dopamine rush that tells us to pay attention. Without it, even the most perfect prose won’t hold anyone’s interest. Backed by recent breakthroughs in neuroscience as well as examples from novels, screenplays, and short stories, Wired for Story offers a revolutionary look at story as the brain experiences it. Each chapter zeroes in on an aspect of the brain, its corresponding revelation about story, and the way to apply it to your storytelling right now.

From the world's foremost neuroscientist of romantic love comes a personal story of connection and heartbreak that brings new understanding to an old truth: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.At thirty-seven, Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo was content to be single. She was fulfilled by her work on the neuroscience of romantic love; how finding and growing with a partner literally reshapes our brains. That was, until she met the foremost neuroscientist of loneliness. A whirlwind romance led to marriage, to sharing an office at the University of Chicago. After seven years of being inseparable at work and home, she lost her beloved husband following a devastating battle with cancer.In Wired for Love, Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo tells not just not just a science story, but also a love story. She shares revelatory insights into how we fall in love, and why; what makes love last; and how we process love lost-all grounded in cutting-edge findings in brain chemistry and behavioural science. Woven through it all is her moving personal story, from astonishment, to unbreakable bond, to grief and healing. Her experience and her work enrich each other, creating a singular blend of science and lyricism that's essential reading for anyone looking for connection.

“If you and your prospective partner adopt the principles and skills I describe here, your relationship will be successful—not just for starters, but for the long run.” An indispensable guide for any couple ready to set the foundation for a loving and lasting union Committing fully to a loving partnership—a “we”—can be one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences you’ll ever have. Yet as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, it can also be one of the most challenging. Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce, and chances go down from there. So how do you beat the odds? “All successful long-term relationships are secure relationships,” writes psychotherapist Stan Tatkin. “You and your partner take care of each other in a way that ensures you both feel safe, protected, accepted, and secure at all times.” In We Do, Tatkin provides a groundbreaking guide for couples. You’ll figure out whether you and your partner are right for each other in the long term, and if so, give your relationship a strong foundation so you can enjoy a secure and lasting love. Highlights include: Create a shared vision for your relationship, the key to a strong foundationIt’s all about prevention—learn tools and techniques for preventing problems before they occurUnderstand how to work with the psychological and biological influences in your relationship—neuroscience, arousal regulation, attachment theory, and moreNumerous case studies with helpful examples of healthy and unhealthy interactions, sample dialogues, and reflectionsDozens of exercises—the newlywed game, reading facial expressions, and many more fun and serious practices to develop intimacy and securityHandling conflict—how to broker win-win outcomesBuild a loving relationship that helps you thrive and grow as both individuals and a couple Common interests, physical attraction, shared values, and good communication skills are the factors most commonly thought to indicate a good partnership. Yet surprisingly, current research reveals that these are only a small part of what makes for a healthy marriage—much more important are psychological and biological influences. With We Do, you’ll learn to navigate these elements and more, giving your relationship the best possible chance to succeed.

This is an adorable story of online love in the late Victorian era. It tells about the affection that emerged from the telegraph chat of two operators that had never seen each other before. Although it was written in the 1880s, the story's spirit is amazingly contemporary. The main character wanted to solve the confusion of a misspelled word with another operator, known as "C." From this point, they started exchanging messages. Their story is full of charm—unexpected turns and pitfalls known to everyone who started their relations online.