Adult Sibling Rivalry

An exploration of sibling rivalry in adults shows adults how they can maintain caring relationships with siblings during ordinary conflicts, cope with seriously troubled siblings, and resolve conflicts.

Experience the miracle of healing with a unique step-by-step program for enhancing adult sibling relationships — created by siblings for siblings Much has been written about the relationships of parents and children. But the unsung chord in all of our adult relationships, professional and personal, is rooted in the sibling connection. In this extraordinary book based on their Sibling Revelry workshops, authors — and siblings — Jo Ann, Marjory, and Joel Levitt re-create the seminars that have helped many strengthen the bonds of their adult sibling relationships. In eight clearly focused steps, with added material for home study, the authors show how to transform sibling rivalry into extraordinary, nurturing adult bonds that will enhance all other relationships in your life. Now you can regain the closeness you and your siblings once shared, heal old wounds, and pave the way to a happier, healthier future. Learn how to: * Define your relationship — Unload the myths of your shared past...and discover who you are to each other now * Witness the effect of old rivalries — And use them as a springboard to great adult relationships * Envision a new future — Break the habits that hold your relationship firmly in place...and create a powerful new vision for yourself and your family * Explore new modes of contact — Examine the "role" you play in your family and free yourself from damaging old patterns * Heal wounds and misunderstandings — Resolve old conflicts as you sort through old issues of fear, anger, guilt, and hurt * Invent new family legends — Uncover the myths and legends that have shaped your relationship...then create new ones * Make room for differences — Clear out "sibling clutter" and accept your siblings exactly as they are * Honor your strengths — Celebrate the positive qualities each sibling brings to the relationship...and set the stage for a lifelong connection

The bond siblings develop in childhood may be vastly different from the relationship that evolves in adulthood. Driven by affection but also characterized by ambivalence and ambiguity, adult sibling relationships can become hurtful, uncertain, competitive, or exhausting though the undercurrents of love and loyalty remain. An approach that recognizes the positive aspects of the changing sibling relationship, as well as those that need improvement, can restore healthy ties and rebuild family closeness. With in-depth case studies of more than 260 siblings over the age of forty and interviews with experts on mental health and family interaction, this book offers vital direction for traversing the emotional terrain of adult sibling relations. It pursues a richer understanding of ambivalence, a normal though little explored feeling among siblings, and how ambiguity about the past or present can lead to miscommunication and estrangement. For both professionals and general readers, this book clarifies the most confounding elements of sibling relationships and provides specific suggestions for realizing new, productive avenues of friendship in middle and later life—skills that are particularly important for siblings who must cooperate to care for aging parents or give immediate emotional or financial support to other siblings or family members.

Explores how sibling rivalry affects adult life, showing readers how to recognize and confront issues of competitiveness, clarify and evaluate expectations, reconcile with a sibling, and identify the "invisible sibling" syndrome. Reprint.

A warm, empathetic guide to understanding, coping with, and healing from the unique pain of sibling estrangement "Whenever I tell people that I am working on a book about sibling estrangement, they sit up a little straighter and lean in, as if I've tapped into a dark secret." Fern Schumer Chapman understands the pain of sibling estrangement firsthand. For the better part of forty years, she had nearly no relationship with her only brother, despite many attempts at reconnection. Her grief and shame were devastating and isolating. But when she tried to turn to others for help, she found that a profound stigma still surrounded estrangement, and that very little statistical and psychological research existed to help her better understand the rift that had broken up her family. So she decided to conduct her own research, interviewing psychologists and estranged siblings as well as recording the extraordinary story of her own rift with her brother--and subsequent reconciliation. Brothers, Sisters, Strangers is the result--a thoughtfully researched memoir that illuminates both the author's own story and the greater phenomenon of estrangement. Chapman helps readers work through the challenges of rebuilding a sibling relationship that seems damaged beyond repair, as well as understand when estrangement is the best option. It is at once a detailed framework for understanding sibling estrangement, a beacon of solidarity and comfort for the estranged, and a moving memoir about family trauma, addiction, grief, and recovery.

Bonds between brothers and sisters are among the longest lasting and most emotionally significant of human relationships. But while 45 percent of adults struggle with serious sibling strife, few discuss it openly. Even fewer resolve it to their satisfaction. In Cain's Legacy, psychotherapist Jeanne Safer, a recognized authority on sibling psychology (and an estranged sister herself) illuminates this pervasive but hidden phenomenon. She explores the roots of inter-sibling woes, from siblicide in the book of Genesis to tensions in Freud's family history. Drawing on sixty in-depth interviews with adult siblings struggling with conflicts over money, family businesses, aging parents, contentious wills, unhealed childhood wounds, and blocked communication, Safer provides compassionate guidance to brothers and sisters whose relationship is broken. She helps siblings overcome their paralysis and pain, revealing how they can come to terms with the one peer relationship they can never sever--even if they never see each other again. A heartfelt look at a too-often avoided topic, Cain's Legacy is a sympathetic and clear-eyed guide to navigating the darkness separating us from our brothers and sisters.