Beyond Shame

We all carry sexual shame. Whether we grew up in the repressive purity culture of American Evangelical Christianity or not, we've all been taught in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that sex (outside of very specific contexts) is immoral and taboo. Psychotherapist Matthias Roberts helps readers overcome their shame around sex by overcoming three unhealthy coping mechanisms we use to manage that shame. Beyond Shame encourages each of us to determine our own definition of healthy sex, while avoiding the ditches of boundaryless sex positivity on the one hand and strict moralistic boundaries on the other. Define your sexual values on your own terms, overcome your shame, and start having great, healthy sex.

"Patrick Moore boldly argues that the promiscuous gay men of the 1970s were actually artists and that AIDS derailed an esthetic community and sexual adventure. This quietly personal book reclaims the past for young gay men and makes it useable."--Edmund White, author of A Boy's Own Story "A personal, tender, honest book about a past that can never be regained, but must not be forgotten." --Sarah Schulman, author of After Delores "Patrick Moore reminds us of the extravagant creativity of gay self-fashioning in the 1970s, in the hope that such historical awareness can help us bring about an extravagant, creative gay future."--Carolyn Dinshaw, Director of the Center for Gender & Sexuality, New York University "Moore's exceptional study considers those men who fashioned an underground gay life that still resonates today."--Felice Picano, author of Like People In History and a founding member of the Violet Quill Club

All Noelle Cunningham has ever wanted was a life beyond--beyond her stifling role as a prim and proper councilman's daughter, and beyond the walls of the patriarchal city of Eden, the only remnants of safety in a world destroyed by solar storms decades earlier. But when she's banished for violating the prohibition against immorality, she's unprepared for the lawless world outside the city's walls. The sectors surrounding Eden house those abandoned to fend for themselves--men like Jasper McCray, bootlegger and cage fighter. Jas clawed his way up from nothing to stand at the right hand of Sector Four's ruthless leader, and he'll defend the O'Kane gang with his life. But fighting hasn't prepared him for dealing with a sheltered City princess who falls at his feet. Her innocence is undeniable, but so is her intense sexual curiosity. Soon they're exploring every dark fantasy she's ever been ashamed to have. But if Noelle wants to claim her place with the O'Kanes and at Jas's side, she'll have to find the courage to embrace something even more terrifying than her own desires. Her own power. *** The Beyond Series is dystopian erotic romance. While the books explore kink and sex with multiple partners in a dark and decadent world, all sex between characters is 100% consensual.

In this ambitious new work, Dr. Jonathan Fast proposes a new way of understanding the bullying experience (of the bully, the bullied, and the bystander), via the lens of shame. Beyond Bullying posits that shame is the powerful emotion that is often at the heart of many of the dynamics classified as bullying. Shame is a common human emotion for which Fast establishes a hierarchy of reactions. The following is an example of "healthy shame": when 5-year-old Sam finger-paints on his plate with his mashed potatoes, his mother says "you won't be allowed to eat at the grownup table until you stop sticking your fingers in your food." The shame in this scenario is healthy because it encourages Sam to master skills that will make him more autonomous and socially appealing, compared to "toxic shame" that damages one's self-concept by critiquing what one is rather than what one does. The distinction can be seen in the example of a parent whose child constantly forgets to complete her homework. The parent who says "your mother and I expect you to study and get good grades" is employing healthy shame, while the parent who shouts in frustration and anger "you're so lazy! You'll never amount to anything!" is administering a dose of toxic shame, directed at his daughter's self-concept rather than that act of neglecting her homework. "Weaponized Shame," which forms the core focus of this book, is the intentional use of those attacks on another person's self-concept for the purpose of inflicting emotional and psychological harm. The premise of the book is that all bullying involves "weaponized shame." Through the use of Shame Maps, simple iconographic diagrams similar to the genograms used by family therapists, Dr. Fast visually represents the overlapping shame dynamics in play in many common interactions, emphasizing the use of weaponized shame in bullying situations. The Shame Maps provide a useful tool for parents, teachers, therapists, school mental-health professionals, and others to use when discussing bullying with children, adolescents, and other adults. Fast traces different nuances of shame dynamics through several common types of bullying, highlighting LGBTQ, gender, and race among other bases for bullying actions, before extending the analysis to terminal acts of violence including school shootings, terrorism, homicide, and suicide. The book will both give readers concrete suggestions for healthy ways to discharge shame and equip them with techniques to help diffuse potentially harmful situations before they lead to dangerous extremes. The author is developing an interactive companion website to the book that will allow visitors to create personal shame maps based on their own scenario, to help readers employ this tool in real-world situations.

In Shame Interrupted, bestselling author Edward T. Welch empowers readers to live in light of the gospel of God's grace, which breaks the lingering power of shame. Providing immediate application to every reader's spiritual journey, Welch's book guides men and women to seek freedom from the shame of their own relational and sexual brokenness. Shame controls far too many of us, and the Bible addresses the issue of shame from start to finish. Shame Interrupted reminds readers that God cares for the shamed, and that through Jesus, they are covered, adopted, cleansed, and healed. Shame Interrupted creates a safe place to deal with shame, shining a light on the dynamics of sin and how it is overcome through the power of Christ. By identifying with our shame on the cross, Jesus gives believers freedom from the paralyzing effects of sin and shame. As someone who is familiar with the effects and crushing weight of shame—and the overwhelming freedom found in Christ—Welch invites readers to find confidence in the cleansing work of Christ in this raw and brutally honest book. By examining the depths of the human heart, Welch has made accessible invaluable tools for counseling, soul care, and pastoral work. Shame Interrupted dwells on hope and healing, providing gospel answers to difficult questions.

Introducing the first self-help workbook for moral injury, featuring a powerful approach grounded in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to help you heal in the midst of moral pain and connect with a deeper sense of meaning and purpose. If you’ve experienced, witnessed, or failed to prevent an act that violates your own deeply held values—such as harming someone in an automobile accident, or failing to save someone from a dangerous situation—you may suffer from moral injury, an enduring psychological and spiritual pain that is often accompanied by post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, substance abuse, and other mental health conditions. In order to begin healing, you need to (re)connect with your values and what really matters to you as a human being. Written by a renowned team of PTSD and trauma professionals, this workbook can help. The Moral Injury Workbook is the first workbook of its kind to offer a powerful step-by-step program to help you move beyond moral pain. With this guide, you’ll learn to work through difficult thoughts, emotions, and spiritual troubles; (re)connect with your deeply held sense of self, values, or spiritual beliefs; and gain the psychological flexibility you need to begin healing and live a full and meaningful life. Links to downloadable worksheets for veterans and clinicians are also included. Whether you’ve experienced moral injury yourself, work in the field of mental health, or are a pastoral advisor seeking new ways to help facilitate moral healing, this workbook is an effective and much-needed resource.

In this real life story, Elaine, a youth justice worker, is forced to come to terms with her own perceived failures when two of her three children become involved in the justice system.She is compelled to travel back into her past to re-examine her personal battles in search of answers to questions that begin to haunt her, plunging her into deep depressive episodes and a minefield of self-doubt. Beyond the Shame focuses on this mother's emotionally charged journey in front of the bars which leads her to discover hidden inner strengths and a life's mission; bringing recognition to a growing issue that plagues far too many in our communities. As a result of her journey and mission to help others facing this difficult plight, she founded, TWRS - Together We R Strong, a community support group for families of children involved in the justice system.Her motto: Live, Learn, Rise! Live your life the best you can. Learn from your experiences and Rise above your challenges to become a stronger better you.

Forgiveness, like apple pie, is something most people want more of, but few know how to achieve genuinely. This book will provide fresh ideas on how to appropriate more of this psychologically powerful commodity to a discouraged world.