Beyond The Nuclear Family Model

Magazine articles, talk shows, and commercials advise us that our happiness and well-being rest on striking a balance between work and family. It goes unsaid, however, that the advice is based on an outmoded and unrealistic ideal. This provocative volume challenges the notion often offered in support of neo-liberal agendas that paid work (employment) and unpaid work (caregiving and housework) are separate and competing spheres, rather than overlapping aspects of a single existence. Alternative approaches to integrating work and family must be taken into account if we hope to build truly equitable family and childcare policies.

The importance of significant family contexts that are not easily circumscribed with reference to a household or a limited set of family roles has been underlined throughout the last two decades by researchers. A strong interest for family relationships beyond the nuclear family has emerged in the social sciences. The various contributions to this book develop a configurational approach to families, which emphasizes interdependencies existing among large numbers of family members, and reconsiders some of the central issues of family life in this light: fertility projects, childcare and socialization, monetary transfers across generations and support for the elderly, relationships with grandparents, uncles, aunts and in-laws, gender inequalities, divorce and other family disruptions, and the importance of friends and acquaintances for families. Beyond very real changes affecting the structures of family life since the sixties, the book reveals that basic forms of togetherness still underlie much of what is going on in family configurations.

A close-up examination and exploration, How We Live Now challenges our old concepts of what it means to be a family and have a home, opening the door to the many diverse and thriving experiments of living in twenty-first century America. Across America and around the world, in cities and suburbs and small towns, people from all walks of life are redefining our “lifespaces”—the way we live and who we live with. The traditional nuclear family in their single-family home on a suburban lot has lost its place of prominence in contemporary life. Today, Americans have more choices than ever before in creating new ways to live and meet their personal needs and desires. Social scientist, researcher, and writer Bella DePaulo has traveled across America to interview people experimenting with the paradigm of how we live. In How We Live Now, she explores everything from multi-generational homes to cohousing communities where one’s “family” is made up of friends and neighbors to couples “living apart together” to single-living, and ultimately uncovers a pioneering landscape for living that throws the old blueprint out the window. Through personal interviews and stories, media accounts, and in-depth research, How We Live Now explores thriving lifespaces, and offers the reader choices that are freer, more diverse, and more attuned to our modern needs for the twenty-first century and beyond.

People who are single are changing the face of America. Did you know that: * More than 40 percent of the nation's adults---over 87 million people---are divorced, widowed, or have always been single. * There are more households comprised of single people living alone than of married parents and their children. * Americans now spend more of their adult years single than married. Many of today's single people have engaging jobs, homes that they own, and a network of friends. This is not the 1950s---singles can have sex without marrying, and they can raise smart, successful, and happy children. It should be a great time to be single. Yet too often single people are still asked to defend their single status by an onslaught of judgmental peers and fretful relatives. Prominent people in politics, the popular press, and the intelligentsia have all taken turns peddling myths about marriage and singlehood. Marry, they promise, and you will live a long, happy, and healthy life, and you will never be lonely again. Drawing from decades of scientific research and stacks of stories from the front lines of singlehood, Bella DePaulo debunks the myths of singledom---and shows that just about everything you've heard about the benefits of getting married and the perils of staying single are grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. Although singles are singled out for unfair treatment by the workplace, the marketplace, and the federal tax structure, they are not simply victims of this singlism. Single people really are living happily ever after. Filled with bracing bursts of truth and dazzling dashes of humor, Singled Out is a spirited and provocative read for the single, the married, and everyone in between. You will never think about singlehood or marriage the same way again. Singled Out debunks the Ten Myths of Singlehood, including: Myth #1: The Wonder of Couples: Marrieds know best. Myth #3: The Dark Aura of Singlehood: You are miserable and lonely and your life is tragic. Myth #5: Attention, Single Women: Your work won't love you back and your eggs will dry up. Also, you don't get any and you're promiscuous. Myth #6: Attention, Single Men: You are horny, slovenly, and irresponsible, and you are the scary criminals. Or you are sexy, fastidious, frivolous, and gay. Myth #7: Attention, Single Parents: Your kids are doomed. Myth #9: Poor Soul: You will grow old alone and you will die in a room by yourself where no one will find you for weeks. Myth #10: Family Values: Let's give all of the perks, benefits, gifts, and cash to couples and call it family values. "With elegant analysis, wonderfully detailed examples, and clear and witty prose, DePaulo lays out the many, often subtle denigrations and discriminations faced by single adults in the U.S. She addresses, too, the resilience of single women and men in the face of such singlism. A must-read for all single adults, their friends and families, as well as social scientists and policy advocates." ---E. Kay Trimberger, author of The New Single Woman

This book is available as open access through the Bloomsbury Open Access programme and is available on www.bloomsburycollections.com. This book examines, through a multi-disciplinary lens, the possibilities offered by relationships and family forms that challenge the nuclear family ideal, and some of the arguments that recommend or disqualify these as legitimate units in our societies.That children should be conceived naturally, born to and raised by their two young, heterosexual, married to each other, genetic parents; that this relationship between parents is also the ideal relationship between romantic or sexual partners; and that romance and sexual intimacy ought to be at the core of our closest personal relationships - all these elements converge towards the ideal of the nuclear family. The authors consider a range of relationship and family structures that depart from this ideal: polyamory and polygamy, single and polyparenting, parenting by gay and lesbian couples, as well as families created through assisted human reproduction.