Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent

Do You Have An Aging Parent Who -- Blames you for everything that goes wrong? Cannot tolerate being alone, wants you all the time? Is obsessed with health problems, real, or imagined? Make unreasonable and/or irrational demands of you? Is hostile, negative and critical? Coping with these traits in parents is an endless high-stress battle for their children. Though there's no medical defination for "difficult" parents, you know when you have one. While it's rare for adults to change their ways late in life, you can stop the vicious merry-go-round of anger, blame, guilt and frustration. For the first time, here's a common-sense guide from professionals, with more than two decades in the field, on how to smooth communications with a challenging parent. Filled with practical tips for handling contentious behaviors and sample dialogues for some of the most troubling situations, this book addresses many hard issues, including: How to tell your parent he or she cannot live with you. How to avoid the cycle of nagging and recriminations How to prevent your parent's negativity from overwhelming you. How to deal with an impaired parent who refuses to stop driving. How to asses the risk factors in deciding whether a parent is still able to live alone.

A self-help guide for those who have to take care of their aging parents. Caring for aging parents is difficult-it's exhausting, expensive, time-consuming, and under appreciated. And that's under the best of circumstances, when the caregiver loves and respects his or her aging parent. What happens when adult children are asked to care for elderly parents who were abusive, neglectful, or absent? Here is a compassionate and practical guide to facing the psychological and emotional issues that arise when caring for aging parents. Eleanor Cade offers sound as well as personal accounts from individuals who have made the choice to care for difficult parents. The result is a powerful guide to moving beyond feelings of anger, regret, and grief in order to build healthy new family dynamics based on decency and mercy.Target audience For individuals who are caring for aging, dysfunctional parents, as well as counselors and therapists who work with familiesFeaturesan authoritative resource for baby boomers caring for aging parentsdefines differences between "normal" and "dysfunctional" familiespersonal stories validate the experiences and feelings of readers

Growing up with a parent who is self-absorbed is difficult, and they may become more difficult to deal with as they age. This essential book shows how to cope with your aging parent's narcissistic behavior, and provides tips to help protect yourself and your children from their self-absorbed, destructive actions. As your self-absorbed parent grows older and becomes more dependent on you, hurtful relationships may resurface and become further strained. In the tradition of Children of the Self-Absorbed, author Nina Brown offers the first book for adult children of aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parents. You will learn practical, powerful strategies for navigating the intense negative feelings that your parents can incite, as well as tips to protect your children from the criticism, blame, or hostility that may exist between you and their grandparent. In this book, you will gain greater awareness of how and why your parent's self-absorbed behaviors and attitudes get worse, and develop strategies to manage the negative feelings that can arise as a result. You'll also learn to reduce the shame and guilt that may be felt when you feel like you don't want to be a caretaker. Finally, you'll learn to set limits with your parent so you can stay sane during this difficult time. Having an aging parent can be stressful enough, but dealing with an aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parent is especially challenging. This essential guide will help you through.

A practical guide to bridging the generation gap. In How to Say It to Seniors, geriatric psychology expert David Solie offers help in removing the typical communication blocks many experience with the elderly. By sharing his insights into the later stages of life, Solie helps in understanding the unique perspective of seniors, and provides the tools to relate to them.

Elder Rage, or Take My Father... Please: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents--is a riveting true story as well as an extensive self-help book, with solutions for effective management, medically and behaviorally, of challenging elders who resist care. Jacqueline Marcell's poignant and often-humorous story of caring for her challenging elderly father and sweet but frail mother, addresses issues like how to get an obstinate elder to: give up driving, accept a caregiver, see a different doctor, take medication, go to adult day care, move to a new residence, etc. Includes: Behavior Modification Guidelines, 25 Q&A's=How Do I Handle My Elderly Loved One Who...?, Long-Term Care Insurance, Ten Warning Signs of Alzheimer's, How is Alzheimer's Diagnosed, Three Stages of Alzheimer's, Startling Statistics, Other Diseases That Act Like Alzheimer's, Jacqueline's Top Ten Recommendations, Hope For The Future, The Search for the Cure, Valuable Resources, Recommended Reading. Internationally known dementia specialist, Rodman Shankle, MS MD, contributes the Addendum: A Physician's Guide to Treating Dementia. Over 50 endorsements include: Hugh Downs, Regis Philbin, Dr. Dean Edell, Duke University Center for Aging, Dr. Nancy Snyderman/ABC News, Leeza Gibbons, Senator John D. Rockefeller IV, Rudy Tanzi/Harvard Medical School, and The Johns Hopkins Memory Clinic. http://www.elderrage.com

Everyone knows some truly fine people in their thirties to sixties whose older parents treat them really badly, with hurtful sarcasm, irrational demands, constant criticism, and undeserved anger. These frustrated, unappreciated adult sons and daughters simply want to be good to their parents. Perhaps you are one of these people yourself. In this unique handbook, Dr. Chafetz provides adult children of difficult older parents (CODOPs) the tools they need to protect themselves emotionally, effectively love their hard-to-love parents, and create a healthy legacy for their own children. Here are thirty powerful, time-tested tools for CODOPs: Ten concepts to empower their minds Ten insights to comfort their hearts Ten behavioral skills to guide their actions

It's scary and stressful when it happens ... noticing changes in your parent and becoming increasingly worried about their health and safety. Maybe it's Mom leaving the stove on, Dad getting lost on his way home, or unpaid bills that trigger this realization. Or perhaps there have been falls or emergency room visits. Whatever it is, you know something's wrong. You wonder about a diagnosis. And you want your aging parent to accept help, or perhaps move. Helping an older parent can be gratifying. But it's especially hard if they're blowing off your concerns, refusing to make changes, or otherwise resisting your efforts. You want them to listen, but they get upset or withdraw when you try to talk about this. What to do? You don't have to remain stuck in conflict with your parent (or other family members). You don't have to keep getting the runaround from doctors or feel stumped about next steps. Instead, use an expert's clear plan on how to help your aging parent. In this practical, step-by-step guide, geriatrician Leslie Kernisan, MD, walks you through what to do and what to say in order to offer respectful assistance and intervention to a declining elderly parent. Full of actionable advice and insider tips, When Your Aging Parent Needs Help provides practical and flexible steps that move concerned families toward effective elder care action, while respecting a parent's dignity and autonomy. You'll discover: How to communicate with your aging parent to reduce conflicts and enhance cooperation The A-B-C-D-E assessment framework for Alzheimer or other dementia concerns, safety issues, or independent living - and steps to implement change Strategies to overcome parental resistance, health provider reluctance to share information, and family disagreement How to get a medical evaluation for memory loss and, if applicable, a diagnosis for Alzheimer's or another dementia What to know about possible mental "incompetence," powers of attorney, HIPAA, and other options for gaining legal authority as a caregiver How to find geriatric care managers and other eldercare professionals to assist Downloadable worksheets, symptom checkers, and checklists to bring to doctor visits "What this looks like" family stories that show you what these action steps look like in real-world situations Transform good intentions into workable solutions and improved relationships. If you're concerned about an aging parent's health, wellbeing, or safety, you'll find encouragement and direction for this next life stage in When Your Aging Parent Needs Help.

Designed to help caregivers understand how to cope with and overcome the overwhelming challenges that arise while caregiving for a loved one—especially an aging parent—Role Reversal is a comprehensive guide to navigating the enormous daily challenges faced by caregivers. In these pages, Waichler blends her personal experience caring for her beloved father with her forty years of expertise as a patient advocate and clinical social worker. The result is a book offering invaluable information on topics ranging from estate planning to grief and anger to building a support network and finding the right level of care for your elderly parent.