Divorce Mediation

Building on the success of their groundbreaking 1988 Divorce Mediation, Folberg et al. now present the latest state-of-the-art, comprehensive resource on family and divorce mediation. Paving the way for the field to establish its own distinct discipline and academic tradition, this authoritative volume offers chapters contributed by leading mediation researchers, trainers, and practitioners. Detailed are the theory behind mediation practice, the contemporary social and political context, and practical issues involved in mediating divorce and custody disputes with contemporary families. Authors also address intriguing questions about professional standards and where the field should go from here. A groundbreaking resource, this volume is indispensable for all mental health and legal professionals working with families in transition.

“So far lawyers are the only ones getting any money.” “There’s no middle ground. We only talk through lawyers.” “I open my mouth and we end up screaming at each other.” Sound familiar? What if there was a way to divorce with a minimum of hostility, time, and expense? It is attainable, even if you are working towards these goals without the cooperation of your spouse. The Yoga of Divorce advocates that we shift our reactions and embrace the notion of cooperative opposition, the idea that the same non-adversarial process that works on the yoga mat can be used at the negotiation table. The key to The Yoga of Divorce’s strategy is to 'park ego at the door'. If we stop trying to 'win' but instead seek a solution that is fair to both sides, we make much smoother progress. The mindful practice of cooperative opposition can simultaneously resolve physical stress and social conflict by intentionally balancing opposite forces. It might seem simple, but it takes conscious effort. We urgently need to make calm decisions at those times when being calm is most difficult—such as in the midst of emotional crisis. When stakes are highest we feel most triggered to attack. For the sake of our children, our wealth, and our personal well-being, we need to work past negative emotions and put ego in its place. Only then will we find lasting peace and amicable resolutions.

Although divorce is essentially a matter of personal choice, its emotional aspects are necessarily entwined with legal dynamics, making decisions about divorce a matter of both the heart and the law. Consequently, feelings become facts that must be accommodated in the divorce process in order to reach a viable lasting result. Divorce mediation, an alternative to traditional judicial intervention and third-party decision making, facilitates private negotiation and takes into account emotional as well as legal dimensions of marital dissolution. This process empowers divorcing couples to be actively involved in making the choices that will affect their lives for years to come. The divorce mediator acts as a neutral party who promotes decision making with the family and helps divorcing couples to develop their own parental, financial, and property arrangements. Because divorce mediation views divorce as a multidimensional process that involves both legal and psychological matters, it has attracted professionals from both fields who wish to facilitate a less adversarial approach to the dissolution of a marriage. DIVORCE MEDIATION: THEORY AND PRACTICE fills the currently unmet need for a comprehensive treatment of this burgeoning field. Editors Folberg and Milne, both nationally recognized authorities, have compiled an interdisciplinary state-of-the-art work on divorce resolution. Leading practitioners have contributed chapters which define the theory of divorce mediation, and outline techniques and strategies, as well as ethical considerations and constraints, standards of practice, and policy issues. Current results and forthcoming research findings on such important and controversial matters such as mediation's role in domestic violence disputes are also included. The volume opens with a lucid discussion of theory and practice, the nature of divorce disputes, and methods for achieving settlements. It goes on to offer a detailed overview of the psychological and legal dimensions to be considered. Next, organizational settings in which divorce mediation occurs, namely courts-of-law, private practice, agencies, and organizations are discussed. The implications of divorce mediation for such complex areas of dispute as child custody and financial agreements are vividly conveyed. The process of engaging couples in constructive communication and reducing irrationality is fully explored in the chapters on power balancing, communication strategies, and techniques to break impasses. Legal and ethical issues discussed include liability of divorce mediators, confidentiality and privilege, and standards of practice. The book closes with comprehensive coverage of research results, a longitudinal comparison of mediated versus adversarial divorce, and an in-depth descriptive analysis of common divorce mediation behaviors. This groundbreaking volume brings together a wide range of noted practitioners and researchers in this dynamic discipline to produce the singular interdisciplinary, comprehensive work on this subject to date. DIVORCE MEDIATION: THEORY AND PRACTICE will be an indispensable tool for mediators, therapists, social workers, lawyers, educators and other dispute resolution professionals. It will be of interest to anyone concerned with empowering couples to determine their own mutual and individual responsibilities, and rendering the process of marriage dissolution more cooperative and humane.

Here is an excellent introduction to and overview of the field of divorce mediation, a field that has grown rapidly and achieved a remarkable level of recognition among both the clinical and legal professions in the last decade. Divorce Mediation describes the process and some of the techniques of mediation, as well as mediation theory and training. Authorities from marriage and family therapy and law--all practicing mediators--address the ability of women to negotiate for themselves in mediation, describe several approaches to handling custody issues, and discuss several challenging issues facing the profession, including who should practice mediation, what are the boundaries and ethics of practice, and how does mediation relate to the traditional disciplines of law, psychology, marriage and family therapy, and social work. Summaries of actual case studies are especially helpful in illustrating how mediators accomplish their negotiations.

The preferred alternative to standard divorce practice, with the ground rules, the legal ramifications, and where to find a mediator.

Family and Divorce Mediation" is a comprehensive guide that equips readers with essential insights and practical tools to navigate the complex world of family disputes and divorce proceedings. In the first section, readers will gain a thorough understanding of the mediation process, its principles, and benefits. They will learn how mediation differs from traditional adversarial approaches, such as litigation, and why it is often a more effective and amicable method for resolving family conflicts. The book delves into the roles of mediators, attorneys, and parties involved, illustrating the importance of open communication, active listening, and cooperation to achieve mutually satisfactory outcomes. In the second section, "Family and Divorce Mediation" offers step-by-step guidance on various aspects of mediation, including custody and visitation arrangements, property division, financial matters, and support agreements. Readers will learn strategies to foster constructive dialogue, manage emotions, and find creative solutions tailored to the unique needs of each family. The book also addresses challenges that may arise during the mediation process and provides tips to overcome impasses and sustain positive communication. With its insightful case studies and practical exercises, this book serves as an indispensable resource for anyone involved in family mediation or considering this path to achieve fair and harmonious resolutions during the often tumultuous experience of divorce.

Mediation, as a procedure to assist couples in dealing with the problems incident to their separation and divorce, is still relatively new in the United States. For the would-be practitioner, that poses certain problems. Divorce mediation cannot provide a long history of generally accepted procedures. Nor is there even a body of information to which would-be practitioners can turn for instruction or guidance. And, of course, there are no established schools that can train or prepare a practitioner to do this work. To make matters worse, the situation is likely to remain in this state for some time to come. Given this fact, it was felt that it would be useful for practitioners (even for those already engaged in divorce mediation) to have a handbook which would trace a typical mediation from its inception to its conclusion and which would provide them with the substantive informa tion they need to know in order to do divorce mediation. It is hoped that this handbook will fill this need. Having said that, however, it must be acknowledged that the purpose of this book is very much beyond that. Until now, divorce mediation in the United States has been shaped principally by such books as O. J. Coogler's Structured Mediation in Divorce Settlements: A Handbook for Marital Mediators, 1 and John Haynes' Divorce Mediation: 2 A Practical Guide for Therapists and Counselors.

Few Americans escape the experience of divorce, either first-hand or through the dissolutions of marriages of friends or relatives. According to the author, mediation offers a good alternative to the strictly adversarial divorce process that was so prevalent before such programs began to emerge. Originally published in 1991, this book was unique at the time in that it not only explores the role of communication in divorce mediation, but it also presents original research to support its claims. A series of empirical studies, it points readers to a more focused set of recommendations about communication than the typical practitioner's "How-to" books. A simulation exercise is also included, so that readers can apply the concepts described and see the results. The main goal of this text is to provide mediators with a language for understanding their own and their disputants’ communication patterns, strategies, and tactics – a shortcoming of most other books on this topic when first published.