Down To Clown

For your coloring pleasure: Over 30 fine-art designs of depraved clown-themed debauchery. Suitable for framing and display. WARNING: Not suitable for children, the elderly, the coulrophobic, or the easily offended.

A humorous, illustrated, pocket field guide describing where to find—or where to avoid—the most disturbed North American birds. The Mincing Mockingbird Guide to Troubled Birds allows anyone to quickly identify psychotic, violent or mentally unstable bird species—and provides the perfect gag gift for your bird loving (or fearing) friends and family. Throughout the book the reader will discover tales of murder, assault, mental breakdowns, obesity, drug abuse and infidelity among the birds. This guide is used and recommended by law enforcement agencies and ignored by leading ornithologists. We are only just discovering the reality of our avian adversaries, with their reptilian brains, their appetites for mayhem and the fact that they fly mostly to spite us. To ignore the information found within this volume may be at the peril of your very life. Perfect for: • White elephant gifts • Animal lover gifts • Bird lovers gift • Gag gifts • Funny gifts • Christmas gifts

General Sharaya touched Duchess’ dark brown hair as she lay weak and dying on the cold stone floor of their jail cell. The dark star Epsilon Eridani finally succeeded in taking her star stone. Duchess has yet to learn that General Sharaya is her cousin and that she herself is Faree. 18 year old Duchess is a simple village girl that has no idea that she is at the center of the most epic war of the ages that is soon to come. Duchess tries desperately to escape her village upbringing and dreams of becoming a dancer in the famous Royal Clown Ballet. Duchess has not been told the truth about her royal fairy lineage and falls victim to a universal plot; conjured by the dark star Epsilon Eridani. The clowns easily ensnare Duchess by seducing her with the life she’s always dreamed of. After Duchess escapes her kidnapper, she wakes up in the grandest room she has ever been in. When she gets up to look out of her window, she realizes that she is in the Grand Clown Plaza Hotel located in the center of Clown Town. King Clownington quickly learns of Duchess’ arrival to Clown Town and immediately plots with Epsilon on how to extract her star stone. Epsilon learned from killing many fairies that star stones must be freely given in order to retain their power and cannot be extracted under duress. King Clownington orders his son Jax to court Duchess and the entire clown family does all that they can to trick Duchess into sacrificing her stone. Duchess falls in love with the king’s son but starts to grow suspicious when she tries to leave Clown Town and is not able to. General Sharaya sends Duchess a seemingly cryptic message about the clowns that Duchess fails to understand, until it’s too late. With the universe on the brink of a war that has the power to penetrate space and time, will Duchess become trapped by her hatred of the clowns or freed by her new found destiny?

A gorgeously rendered graphic novel of Daniel Alarcón’s story City of Clowns. From the author of The King Is Always Above the People, which was longlisted for the 2017 National Book Award for Fiction. Oscar “Chino” Uribe is a young Peruvian journalist for a local tabloid paper. After the recent death of his philandering father, he must confront the idea of his father’s other family, and how much of his own identity has been shaped by his father’s murky morals. At the same time, he begins to chronicle the life of street clowns, sad characters who populate the violent and corrupt city streets of Lima, and is drawn into their haunting, fantastical world. This remarkably affecting story by Daniel Alarcón was included in his acclaimed first book, War by Candlelight, and now, in collaboration with artist Sheila Alvarado, it takes on a new, thrilling form. This graphic novel, with its short punches of action and images, its stark contrasts between light and dark, truth and fiction, perfectly corresponds to the tone of Chino’s story. With the city of Lima as a character, and the bold visual language from the story, City of Clowns is moving, menacing, and brilliantly vivid.

Jason thought the shiny new bicycle that his mom and dad gave him for his seventh birthday was the greatest present he ever received. Then when Jason took an unexpected tumble from his bike, it brought kindly neighbor Gerald Taylor to his aid and began a friendship that turned out to be an even greater gift. One day, as the two were reading together, Gerald showed Jason a book that could bring happiness to those who were sad. Gerald had a name for those sad people: upside-down clowns. He explained that this very special book had the power to turn upside-down clowns right side up again. The book tells the story of Jesus, who brings joy to even the most joyless of people. Those who accept Jesus into their hearts will find comfort in the words expressed in John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

The story of Gabe Scallop, a birthday clown whose struggle between maintaining emotional stability and fostering creativity leads him on an unexpected journey through love, loss, and second chances.

Leslie Ann Akin, also known as Flower T. Clown, is uniquely qualified to bring together magic and clowning like few other people on the planet. Her book is a treasure trove of practical routines and advice for the serious magic clown hobbyist and professional. Are you a clown who performs at birthday parties, picnics, and parades or visits hospitals? Do you try to overcome the fear of performing and creating a show worth paying for? Are you clueless about how to start? This book is for clowns or wannabe clowns who already have their makeup and wardrobe established. You will learn how to start a gag file for your one-liners, plan birthday party routines, work a company picnic, meet hospital staff and patients, and a whole lot more.

Welcome to Clown Town! Here you will meet some really funny clowns that teach you important lessons from the Bible. Come learn with Gospel Gretel, Tithing Tammy, Praying Pam, Hallelujah Harold, and Bible Bo!