Finding Your Way When Your Spouse Dies

Offers comfort and advice for people who are grieving the death of a spouse.

Losing one's partner, one's soul mate, one's spouse, "demands" the greatest inner strength one can apply. And it requires the help and wisdom of fellow grief-travelers such as you will find in the five sections of this book.

Helping widows and widowers learn how to cope with the grief of losing their helpmate, their lover, and perhaps their financial provider, this guide shows them how to find continued meaning in life when doing so seems difficult. Bereaved spouses will find advice on when and how to dispose of their mate's belongings, dealing with their children, and redefining their role with friends and family. Suggestions are provided for elderly mourners, young widows and widowers, unmarried lovers, and same-sex partners. The information and comfort offered apply to individuals whose spouse died recently or long ago.

Guides readers through the emotions and practical concerns of finding love after the death of a partner. Romantic love, in all its permutations, forms one of the most fascinating of human interactions. It also can be one of life’s thorniest challenges, especially in a world where relationships often unfold online and, recently, where a pandemic barred face-to-face contact with people outside one’s immediate household. Among those seeking romance in increasing numbers is a group that stands apart: the women who, slammed by the death of a spouse, bravely pursue new love. Finding Love After Loss: A Relationship Roadmap for Widows goes to the trenches to interview widows who have embarked, nervously but with hope, on this quest. Their frank and revealing interviews, along with wisdom from relationship experts, provide guidance to other women trying to navigate the relationship scene when their last date might have been decades ago. Where do widows find new partners? How much should they share in their online profile? What do they tell their friends and family? What about getting naked for the first time with a new man? Who pays when the bill appears at a restaurant? More than any time in U.S. history, the country’s widows are seeking another chance at romance. The sheer number of widows—11 million, with an average age in the fifties—makes them a formidable force. They are living longer and have broader views on sex and money. Yet it is difficult for them to find their footing. Many of them have been away from the courtship arena for decades. They may make their return to dating with children and in-laws in tow. They are confused by the new rules and unclear on the expectations but convinced that they are capable of loving again. This book, written by a widow and a co-author who dated a widower, details just how powerful, sometimes daunting, and exhilarating the journey to new love can be. It also unveils the extraordinary ways that widows are reshaping the romance landscape: by tossing traditional marriage vows by the roadside, by skipping marriage entirely, or even by committing to a new partner but living apart. This isn’t your grandmother’s widowhood scene, not by a long shot. Finding Love After Loss examines the crazy, sad, and even zany contributions that people left behind by the death of a partner bring to new relationships. At the same time, it reveals both the amazing resilience of women who have lived through great loss and the irresistible pull of human connection.

In this groundbreaking new work, David Kessler—an expert on grief and the coauthor with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross of the iconic On Grief and Grieving—journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning. In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler Ross first identified the stages of dying in her transformative book On Death and Dying. Decades later, she and David Kessler wrote the classic On Grief and Grieving, introducing the stages of grief with the same transformative pragmatism and compassion. Now, based on hard-earned personal experiences, as well as knowledge and wisdom earned through decades of work with the grieving, Kessler introduces a critical sixth stage. Many people look for “closure” after a loss. Kessler argues that it’s finding meaning beyond the stages of grief most of us are familiar with—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—that can transform grief into a more peaceful and hopeful experience. In this book, Kessler gives readers a roadmap to remembering those who have died with more love than pain; he shows us how to move forward in a way that honors our loved ones. Kessler’s insight is both professional and intensely personal. His journey with grief began when, as a child, he witnessed a mass shooting at the same time his mother was dying. For most of his life, Kessler taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about end of life, trauma, and grief, as well as leading talks and retreats for those experiencing grief. Despite his knowledge, his life was upended by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. How does the grief expert handle such a tragic loss? He knew he had to find a way through this unexpected, devastating loss, a way that would honor his son. That, ultimately, was the sixth state of grief—meaning. In Finding Meaning, Kessler shares the insights, collective wisdom, and powerful tools that will help those experiencing loss. Finding Meaning is a necessary addition to grief literature and a vital guide to healing from tremendous loss. This is an inspiring, deeply intelligent must-read for anyone looking to journey away from suffering, through loss, and towards meaning.

On a mid-October evening, a group of fathers gathered around a conference table and met each other for the first time. None of the men had ever thought of himself a "support group kind of guy" and each felt entirely out of place. In fact, nothing about their lives felt normal anymore. The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life chronicles the challenges and triumphs of seven men whose wives died from cancer and were left to raise their young children entirely on their own. Brought together by tragedy, the fathers - Neill, Dan, Bruce, Karl, Joe, Steve, and Russ - forged an uncommon bond. Over time, group meetings evolved into a forum for reinvention and transformed the men in unexpected ways. Through the fathers' poignant interactions, The Group illustrates that while some wounds never fully heal, each of us has the potential to construct a new and meaningful future. Rosenstein and Yopp, co-leaders of the support group, weave together the fathers' stories with contemporary research on grief and adaptation. The Group traces a compelling journey of healing and personal discovery that no book has ever captured before. The men's touching efforts to care for their families, grieve for their wives, and reimagine their futures will inspire anyone who has suffered a major loss.

"A very valuable and practical guide for any woman who has lost her husband due to an untimely death. Kristin Meekhof's journey is both inspiring and courageous and something we can all learn from." —Dr. Deepak Chopra An inspiring, accessible, and empowering guide for how to navigate the unique stresses and challenges of widowhood and create a hopeful future. When Kristin Meekhof lost her husband to cancer, she discovered what all widows learn: the moment you lose your partner, you must make crucial decisions that will impact the rest of your life. But where do you begin? This inspiring book shows grieving widows what to expect and how to deal with the challenges of losing a life partner. From immediate issues like finances, estates and medical bills to long-term hurdles such as single parenthood, being a widow in the workplace and navigating social situations by yourself, this book guides widows through the tumultuous and painful first five years to a more hopeful future.

Losing one’s partner, one’s soul mate, one’s spouse, “demands” the greatest inner strength one can apply. And it requires the help and wisdom of fellow grief-travelers such as those you will find in the five sections of this booklet.