Funny Stories And Other Funny Stories

Swap a bomb for three ice-creams on a train, bounce on a vampire’s bed, eat a pizza that makes you fearless, read the secret diary of a dog, unleash the awesome power of chips, save ten lives with a paper clip, surprise your mum with a chainsaw, use a demolition ball to defeat a bully, live in a house that gets wiped clean more often than a bottom ... and lots more!

First, some giant ants steal breakfast. Then there are the evil ninjas, massive ape, mysterious mole people, giant blob, and countless other daunting (and astonishing) detours along the way to school. Are these excuses really why this student is late? Or is there another explanation that is even more outrageous than the rest? From Davide Cali and Benjamin Chaud, the critically acclaimed author/illustrator team behind I Didn't Do My Homework Because . . . comes a fast-paced, actionpacked, laugh-out-loud story about finding the way to school despite the odds—and the unbelievable oddness! Plus, this is the fixed format version, which will look almost identical to the print version. Additionally for devices that support audio, this ebook includes a read-along setting.

"This is the first in a series of readers in the First Nations languages of the prairie provinces meant for language learners and language users. The stories in this volume come from a variety of sources, all being narrated or written by fluent speakers of Cree, whether students or instructors of the Cree language or Elders, and representing a wide array of dialect differences including examples of Plains, Woods and Swampy Cree."--BOOK JACKET.

Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.

Laugh-out-loud, fresh teen comedy with an on-trend witchy spin - Sabrina the Teenage Witch for a new generation! Morgan Charmley has spent her entire thirteen years on the planet attempting to prove she has control over her witch powers so that she's allowed to attend a normal school. And the day has finally arrived! But will she be able to make friends and fit in with non-magical teenagers? Can she resist using her powers to make herself popular or turn her teachers into toads? Can she keep her spells a secret? Perfect for fans of Louise Rennison, Zoella and Holly Bourne

STORIES WITH THE LOT! Save ten lives with a paperclip, discover how a big banana can ruin your sister's holiday, make a new friend with a garbage bin, develop a taste for sheep's spleen and chips, bounce on a vampire's bed, rescue your dad from a dog and a spider, use a toilet roll to get justice, upset the neighbours with a pickaxe, eat a pizza that makes you fearless, and imagine a world where teachers earn more money than a rock star.

Funny Girl is a collection of uproarious stories, rollicking comics, rib-tickling wit, and more, from 25 of today’s funniest female writers for kids. What could be funnier than family? Read stories about Ursula Brown's grandmother driving her on a road trip to disaster, Lisa Brown's little brother getting a Tic-Tac stuck up his nose, and Carmen Agra Deedy's mom setting the bathtub on fire. What could be funnier than friends? Pretty much nothing, as Rita Williams-Garcia shows two besties hatching a bird-brained scheme to get on to a TV talk show, and Deborah Underwood introduces a dynamic dog-and-cat duo teaming up on a pet advice column. What could be funnier than YOU? Tell your future with Mad Libs, discover your Chinese Zodiac sign with Lenore Look, and learn the best tricks of the comedy trade from professional humorists like Adrianne Chalepah and Delaney Yeager. With clever contributions from award-winning and bestselling authors including Cece Bell, Sophie Blackall, Libba Bray, Shannon Hale, Lisa Graff, and Raina Telgemeier, this anthology of funny girls will make you laugh until you cry. Or cry until you laugh. Or maybe you won't cry at all. Either way, you'll definitely laugh. Funny Girl isn’t just an anthology: it’s a cause, a mission, a movement. Girls are funny. Now it’s time for the world to know it.

Prepare to laugh out loud with this fantastically entertaining collection of mischief and mayhem. This book features favourite funny stories and extracts from authors such as Lewis Carroll and Rudyard Kipling. Finished with colourful illustrations, packed with humour, this rib-tickling collection will encourage a love of reading in children.