Goodnight Trump

In this lavish bedroomThere was a tableAnd a ratty toupeeAnd a painting of...Donald in tight gold lame'And a clueless young wife And a small painted elfA really dumb actressAnd Trumpkin himselfAnd a silly old fool And a ditsy buffoon.And a washed up child star who was not gone too soon.And a broom and the help and a book for a diet.And a clever old lady who's saying be quiet.Say goodnight and good riddance to Donald Trump with Goodnight Trump! Inspired by the politically charged climate of this election season, the author of the Dr. Seuss parody Oh, The Sh!t You Don't Know! has released a new book about the candidate that has everyone talking: Donald Trump. As every liberal-minded (and the occasional conservative) American knows, it is well past time to say goodnight to this brash, unqualified, and utterly un-presidential presidential candidate and all of his celebrity supporters. Antonio Carter does exactly this in his parody of Margaret Wise Brown's beloved picture book, Goodnight Moon.Public Figures parodied in this book:Donald TrumpMelania TrumpTila TequilaSarah PalinBen CarsonCandy CarsonAaron CarterStacey DashMike TysonJon VoightScott BaioOmarosaDennis Rodman***This book is a parody for adults and intended for entertainment purposes only.***

Goodnight, Sleepy Joe is a children's story about an old, tired man who dreams of one day being a puppet for the left. His journey has been a long road full of basements, trillion-dollar deficits, and nepotism. If he can win the favor of the left all will be forgiven. Will Sleepy Joe sweep it all under the rug or reside in the basement for the rest of his days? Only time will tell.

100% of The Late Show’s proceeds from this book go to hurricane relief. Whose Boat Is This Boat? Comments That Don’t Help in the Aftermath of a Hurricane is a picture book made entirely of quotations from President Donald Trump in the wake of Hurricane Florence. It is the first children’s book that demonstrates what not to say after a natural disaster. On September 19, 2018, Donald Trump paid a visit to New Bern, North Carolina, one of the towns ravaged by Hurricane Florence. It was there he showed deep concern for a boat that washed ashore. “At least you got a nice boat out of the deal,” said President Trump to hurricane victims. “Have a good time!” he told them. The only way his comments would be appropriate is in the context of a children’s book—and now you can experience them that way, thanks to the staff of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Whose Boat Is This Boat? is an excellent teaching tool for readers of all ages who enjoy learning about empathy by process of elimination. Have a good time!

Puffin Classics: the definitive collection of timeless stories, for every child. Tom tucked a blanket round him, drew up a chair by the fire and watched Willie fall asleep. The tales he had heard about evacuees didn't seem to fit Willie. 'Ungrateful' and 'wild' were the adjectives he had heard used, or just plain 'homesick'. He was quite unprepared for this timid, sickly little specimen. Britain, 1940. With World War Two raging all around, young children are being sent from their homes in the city to the countryside for safety. When eight-year-old Willie Beech first arrives on Tom Oakley's doorstep, neither are quite sure what to make of each another. Brought up in terrible poverty, Willie is terribly shy, and totally unprepared for village life - but the gruff-but-gentle 'Mister Tom' quickly takes him under his wing. Neither he nor Willie could ever have predicted the journey they will go on together - nor the unbreakable bond that will be formed. Winner of the Guardian Children's Fiction Award, and rightly hailed as a true classic of children's literature, Goodnight Mister Tom is a beautifully told, deeply moving story about the power of friendship, kindness, hope - and love. 'Everyone's idea of a smash-hit novel: full-blown characters to love and hate, moments of grief and joy, and a marvellous story that knows just how to grab the emotions' - Guardian

Say goodnight to America's man-child-in-chief with this bestselling and wickedly funny parody. In the very classy room There was a golden mirror And a silver spoon And a broadcast of --A half-baked story from a fake newsroom . . . Goodnight Trump opens in the very classy golden bedroom of the White House, where it is bedtime for the 45th President of the United States. Readers can encourage this very stable genius to bid goodnight to some of his favorite treasures: a drawer overflowing with subpoenas, a Russian nesting doll that opens page by page to reveal a secret message, a thriving swamp just outside his window, and much more. Turn out the lights on Trump's America with this hilarious yet poignant call to action.

"A humorous satirical field guide for identifying and defeating a Trump when discovered in the wilds of a presidential election"--

FINALIST FOR 2018 KIRKUS PRIZE NAMED ONE OF THE "BEST LITERARY FICTION OF 2018' BY KIRKUS REVIEWS "Sci-fi in its most perfect expression…Reading it is like having a lucid dream of six years from next week, filled with people you don't know, but will." —NPR "[Williams’s] wit is sharp, but her touch is light, and her novel is a winner." – San Francisco Chronicle "Between seasons of Black Mirror, look to Katie Williams' debut novel." —Refinery29 Smart and inventive, a page-turner that considers the elusive definition of happiness. Pearl's job is to make people happy. As a technician for the Apricity Corporation, with its patented happiness machine, she provides customers with personalized recommendations for greater contentment. She's good at her job, her office manager tells her, successful. But how does one measure an emotion? Meanwhile, there's Pearl's teenage son, Rhett. A sensitive kid who has forged an unconventional path through adolescence, Rhett seems to find greater satisfaction in being unhappy. The very rejection of joy is his own kind of "pursuit of happiness." As his mother, Pearl wants nothing more than to help Rhett--but is it for his sake or for hers? Certainly it would make Pearl happier. Regardless, her son is one person whose emotional life does not fall under the parameters of her job--not as happiness technician, and not as mother, either. Told from an alternating cast of endearing characters from within Pearl and Rhett's world, Tell the Machine Goodnight delivers a smartly moving and entertaining story about the advance of technology and the ways that it can most surprise and define us. Along the way, Katie Williams playfully illuminates our national obsession with positive psychology, our reliance on quick fixes. What happens when these obsessions begin to overlap? With warmth, humor, and a clever touch, Williams taps into our collective unease about the modern world and allows us see it a little more clearly.

A Most Anticipated Book by: Crime Reads, Buzzfeed, Popsugar, Bustle, New York Post From “master of clever misdirection” (Kirkus Reviews) Aimee Molloy, author of the New York Times bestseller The Perfect Mother, comes an irresistible psychological thriller featuring a newly married woman whose life is turned upside down when her husband goes missing. A handsome psychotherapist. His lonely wife. And in his home office ceiling, a vent … You’d listen too, wouldn’t you? (You know you would.) Newlyweds Sam Statler and Annie Potter are head over heels, and excited to say good-bye to New York City and start a life together in Sam's sleepy hometown upstate. Or, it turns out, a life where Annie spends most of her time alone while Sam, her therapist husband, works long hours in his downstairs office, tending to the egos of his (mostly female) clientele. Little does Sam know that through a vent in his ceiling, every word of his sessions can be heard from the room upstairs. The pharmacist's wife, contemplating a divorce. The well-known painter whose boyfriend doesn’t satisfy her in bed. Who could resist listening? Everything is fine until the French girl in the green mini Cooper shows up, and Sam decides to go to work and not come home, throwing a wrench into Sam and Annie's happily ever after. Showcasing Molloy’s deft ability to subvert norms and culminating in the kind of stunning twist that is becoming her trademark, Goodnight Beautiful is a thrilling tale of domestic suspense that not only questions assumptions but defies expectations.