Grandmothering

From the #1 New York Times–bestselling author, a guide to giving your grandchildren what they need—love, strong values, resilience . . . and, of course, cookies. Grandmothers make the best cookies and give the best hugs, but there's so much more to being the kind of grandmother who leaves a legacy that stands the test of time. In this book, bestselling author and grandmother Linda Eyre shares her secret formula for teaching your grandchildren values, building meaningful connections with them, and giving them grit and resilience in an ever-changing world. Broken into short, digestible chapters for quick reading, this guidebook is filled with time-tested advice and stories from a panel of grandmothers—plus an appendix of easy, delicious recipes to feed a crowd at your next family reunion.

Contemporary grandmothers are often marginalized from extended family life because social institutions and grandmothers themselves do not understand that they could be vital for working parents, for overactive children, for suicidal youth, indeed for many of the problems of modern grandchildren. The genetics and hormones of older women have designed them to be vital family members, with patience and perspective that come with age and experience. In addition, biology helps directly via menopause. The grandmother hypothesis explains that human women, unlike almost any other living creature, experience decades of life after menopause, in order to make grandmothers available to their descendants. Here, Kathleen Berger explores he role of grandmothers in the lives of their grandchildren. She uses real life examples to illustrate how grandmothers can best integrate themselves into the lives of their children’s families without overstepping. She explores the particular needs of each stage of childhood as they relate to grandmother involvement and input. Before a child is born, grandmothers need to attend to building a strong relationship with the future parents. In infancy, attachment and feeding are crucial. In early childhood, grandmothers need to follow the parent’s lead, remembering that a parental alliance is essential. In childhood, children need to be safe but not isolated, and both bullies and victims benefit from a grandmother’s support and assistance. In adolescence and emerging adulthood, grandmothers need to build direct connections and not avoid the difficult topics of sex, drugs, death, disease, and money. Throughout, elders need to learn technology, insuring that it fosters, not impedes relationships. Problems in relationships are explained honestly and with insight. Among these are issues when three generations share a home, when parents get divorced, and when grandchildren rebel against parental authority. Throughout the work, both the joy and the complications of effective grandmothering are described. Whether you’re a biological grandmother, a trusted step-grandmother, or just a warm and trusted older woman with young ones in your life, you can be a vital force in the lives of future generations.

In Grandmothering While Black, sociologist LaShawnDa L. Pittman explores the complex lives of Black grandmothers raising their grandchildren in skipped-generation households (consisting only of grandparents and grandchildren). She prioritizes the voices of Black grandmothers through in-depth interviews and ethnographic research at various sites--doctor's visits, welfare offices, school and day care center appointments, caseworker meetings, and more. Through careful examination, she explores the various forces that compel, constrain, and support Black grandmothers' caregiving. Pittman showcases a fundamental change in the relationship between grandmother and grandchild as grandmothers confront the paradox of fulfilling the social and legal functions of motherhood without the legal rights of the role. Grandmothering While Black illuminates the strategies used by grandmothers to manage their legal marginalization vis-à-vis parents and the state across a range of caregiving arrangements. In doing so, it reveals the overwhelming and painful decisions Black grandmothers must make to ensure the safety and well-being of the next generation.

Today, more and more grandmothers around the world are taking on varied responsibilities and many roles, sometimes concurrently. Consequently, grandmothers continue to play, as in the past, an influential role not only in the lives of their grandchildren, but also in our communities and in society more broadly. Grandmothers and Grandmothering: Creative and Critical Contemplations in Honour of our Women Elders, as the title suggests, seeks to pay homage to our grandmothers and their contributions to society. As well, it aims to explore the textured and complex phenomena of grandmothering from a range of disciplines and cultural perspectives. Our hope is that this collection challenges preconceived notions of what it means to be a grandmother and provides insight into the multifaceted nature of grandmothering.

The New York Times Bestseller From one of the country’s most recognizable journalists: How becoming a grandmother transforms a woman’s life. After four decades as a reporter, Lesley Stahl’s most vivid and transformative experience of her life was not covering the White House, interviewing heads of state, or researching stories at 60 Minutes. It was becoming a grandmother. She was hit with a jolt of joy so intense and unexpected, she wanted to “investigate” it—as though it were a news flash. And so, using her 60 Minutes skills, she explored how grandmothering changes a woman’s life, interviewing friends like Whoopi Goldberg, colleagues like Diane Sawyer (and grandfathers, including Tom Brokaw), as well as the proverbial woman next door. Along with these personal accounts, Stahl speaks with scientists and doctors about physiological changes that occur in women when they have grandchildren; anthropologists about why there are grandmothers, in evolutionary terms; and psychiatrists about the therapeutic effects of grandchildren on both grandmothers and grandfathers. Throughout Becoming Grandma, Stahl shares stories about her own life with granddaughters Jordan and Chloe, about how her relationship with her daughter, Taylor, has changed, and about how being a grandfather has affected her husband, Aaron. In an era when baby boomers are becoming grandparents in droves and when young parents need all the help they can get raising their children, Stahl’s book is a timely and affecting read that redefines a cherished relationship.

Winner of the 2014 Richard Kalish Innovative Publication Award presented by the Gerontological Society of America Young working mothers are not the only ones who are struggling to balance family life and careers. Many middle-aged American women face this dilemma as they provide routine childcare for their grandchildren while pursuing careers and trying to make ends meet. Employment among middle-aged women is at an all-time high. In the same way that women who reduce employment hours when raising their young children experience reductions in salary, savings, and public and private pensions, the mothers of those same women, as grandmothers, are rearranging hours to take care of their grandchildren, experiencing additional loss of salary and reduced old age pension accumulation. Madonna Harrington Meyer’s Grandmothers at Work, based primarily on 48 in-depth interviews conducted in 2009-2012 with grandmothers who juggle working and minding their grandchildren, explores the strategies of, and impacts on, working grandmothers. While all of the grandmothers in Harrington Meyer’s book are pleased to spend time with their grandchildren, many are readjusting work schedules, using vacation and sick leave time, gutting retirement accounts, and postponing retirement to care for grandchildren. Some simply want to do this; others do it in part because they have more security and flexibility on the job than their daughters do at their relatively new jobs. Many are sequential grandmothers, caring for one grandchild after the other as they are born, in very intensive forms of grandmothering. Some also report that they are putting off retirement out of economic necessity, in part due to the amount of financial help they are providing their grandchildren. Finally, some are also caring for their frail older parents or ailing spouses just as intensively. Most expect to continue feeling the pinch of paid and unpaid work for many years before their retirement. Grandmothers at Work provides a unique perspective on a phenomenon faced by millions of women in America today.

While all of the grandmothers in Harrington Meyer's book are pleased to spend time with their grandchildren, many are readjusting work schedules, using vacation and sick leave time, gutting retirement accounts, and postponing retirement to care for grandchildren. Some simply want to do this; others do it in part because they have more security and flexibility on the job than their daughters do at their relatively new jobs. Many are sequential grandmothers, caring for one grandchild after the other as they are born, in very intensive forms of grandmothering. Some also report that they are putting off retirement out of economic necessity, in part due to the amount of financial help they are providing their grandchildren. Finally, some are also caring for their frail older parents or ailing spouses just as intensively. Most expect to continue feeling the pinch of paid and unpaid work for many years before their retirement.

Explores ways in which grandmothers can find satisfaction in their new roles, have better understanding of family tensions, communicate more effectively with their daughters and daughters-in-law, and provide emotional support.