Healing Violent Men

Violence, forgiveness, and healing Domestic violence is a widespread, though largely invisible, problem, often exacerbated by the pastoral urge to "keep the family together" at all costs. Yet if that is not a solution, how should the church relate to batterers? "I believe that the Christian community, if it is to be genuinely a community of healing and hope, must attend to both the victims and the perpetrators of domestic violence", says David Livingston. Addressing the complex phenomenon of intimate violence against wives, lovers, and children, Livingston profiles batterers and battering and traces it to larger cultural pathologies. He explores the ambiguous role of religion and then offers practical advice of pastoral and programmatic efforts to embrace simultaneously the twin Christian imperatives of forgiveness and responsibility.

"This innovative book examines an important, timely topicÖThe content will greatly enhance practitioners' and students' understanding and skills in working with men of color." - Elaine P. Congress, DSW, Fordham University Graduate School of Social Service "Family Violence and Men of Color is the best book in cross-cultural issues and domestic violence that I have ever read. It is a good combination of literature review, clinical interventions and cultural imagery." -Daniel Sonkin, PhD, Marriage, Family and Child Counselor Family violence is an international epidemic that knows no cultural boundaries, but for years research has overlooked the historical, political and cultural factors that often lead men toward violent behavior. The first edition of Family Violence and Men of Color broke new ground by closely examining the relationship between race and family violence. This revised edition offers an even broader, cross-cultural analysis of male violence and more specialized treatment methods and approaches. Key Features: Chapters analyzing violent behavioral patterns in each major community of color Three new chapters on the African-American and Maori ommunities, in addition to the Latino, Native American, Asian, and South American communities Culturally-based strategies and models that enhance the efficacy of existing intervention programs for men who batter Integrates clinical, experiential, and narrative approaches to family violence This text calls for a critical evaluation and transformation of cultural practices that promote violence against women, and will be pivotal in the development of more effective prevention and intervention programs in the years to come.

By the time Matthias was in seventh grade, he felt he’d better belong to some group, lest he be alone and vulnerable. The punks and anarchists were identifiable by their tattoos and hairstyles and music. But it was the skinheads who captured his imagination. They had great parties, and everyone seemed afraid of them. “They really represented what it meant to be a strong man,” he said. What draws young men into violent extremist groups? What are the ideologies that inspire them to join? And what are the emotional bonds forged that make it difficult to leave, even when they want to? Having conducted in-depth interviews with ex–white nationalists and neo-Nazis in the United States, as well as ex-skinheads and ex-neo-Nazis in Germany and Sweden, renowned sociologist Michael Kimmel demonstrates the pernicious effects that constructions of masculinity have on these young recruits. Kimmel unveils how white extremist groups wield masculinity to recruit and retain members—and to prevent them from exiting the movement. Young men in these groups often feel a sense of righteous indignation, seeing themselves as victims, their birthright upended in a world dominated by political correctness. Offering the promise of being able to "take back their manhood," these groups leverage stereotypes of masculinity to manipulate despair into white supremacist and neo-Nazi hatred. Kimmel combines individual stories with a multiangled analysis of the structural, political, and economic forces that marginalize these men to shed light on their feelings, yet make no excuses for their actions. Healing from Hate reminds us of some men's efforts to exit the movements and reintegrate themselves back into society and is a call to action to those who make it out to help those who are still trapped.

“Every woman who is struggling to understand the mistreatment she is experiencing in her relationship should begin by reading [this] wonderful book.”—Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? What do you do when the one you love hurts you? Have you been searching for answers to difficult questions about your relationship? Do you feel confused about why your partner seems loving one moment and angry the next? Summoning the courage to ask these challenging questions can seem daunting. You know something is wrong in your relationship, but you are not sure what. If you are beginning to wonder if you are experiencing abuse, this book can offer you support, information, and, most of all, hope as you look for answers. Written by two women with a wealth of experience supporting victims of abuse, When Love Hurts introduces exercises and resources to help you make sense of your relationship, addressing all forms of abuse, including verbal, emotional, financial, sexual, and physical. This practical guidebook is a supportive and nonjudgmental friend to those who don’t know where to turn and is filled with stories from women who have been in the same position. By drawing on your own wisdom and that of the many others who have shared your experience, When Love Hurts can help you find the answers you have been looking for.

At My Fathers Barbers, Mataio (Matt) Faafetai Malietoa Brown offers men a haircut with a difference: a safe space to be seen and heard without judgement. From his barbershop chair, Matt has inspired a new generation of New Zealand men to break free from the cycle of abuse — and those men have in turn inspired him and his wife, Sarah, to create the global anti-violence movement, She Is Not Your Rehab. In this raw and unflinching book Matt shares his own story and those of his clients, of surviving family violence and abuse, and how they were able to find healing and turn their lives around. He introduces the people and concepts that have helped him heal, and gives readers the tools they need to begin their own journeys. She is Not Your Rehab demonstrates the power of vulnerability and honesty in addressing pain and shame, and shows how anyone can empower themselves by taking responsibility for their own healing.

According to the 2000 Census, Latinos accounted for 12.5% of the US population, or 35.3 million residents-the fastest growing population in the United States. The influence of this large and growing demographic can be seen throughout every academic discipline in the numerous books, journals, and societies on multicultural assessment, counseling, and research that have begun to appear. However, one area of inquiry remains largely unexplored; domestic violence within Latino families. Although it appears that such violence occurs as frequently in Latino families as in Caucasian families, little research has been done on this topic and very few counseling programs explicitly developed for Latino families currently exist. Healing from Violence fills this void. Drawing on a research study of 150 Latino men who completed a year of court-ordered treatment in Southern California, and a four-year pilot study, the authors mix quantitative and qualitative methodology in order to provide counselors with an opportunity to hear first-hand how Latino partner abusive men think about manhood (machismo), interpersonal relationships, (respeto, personalismo, and simpatÌa), and family life (familismo). The authors then use these in-depth portraits to guide counselors in tailoring treatment plans to the specific needs of Latino men. Voices from Healing From Violence: "How should a Mexican man be? Respectful, understanding, loving, responsible. A good communicator. If a man had all that, and his partner too, wow! It would be great. I'd like to be like the man I just described - the ideal man, loving, respectful, all that." - Ramon "The whole time I've been in the program I've been doing something I had never done in my life - reflecting and taking stock of my own life. Putting the good and the bad in the balance." - Raul "One of the goals of group therapy, of any therapy, is to give hope. Even the man with the worst possible case, where he has lost his marriage and custody of his children, can learn to use respectful relationship skills at work and in a potential new relationship. He may have brought great losses upon himself, but his future is not necessarily bleak." - the Authors

Offers adult male victims of child abuse a procedure for facilitating the recovery process, and suggests ways to break the cycle of violence.

An award-winning investigative journalist provides a disturbing new look at an underreported type of domestic violence—the abuse of men. The first edition of Philip W. Cook's book, Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence (Praeger, 1997), drew attention and praise nationwide from individuals and from media, ranging from CNN and Fox network's The O'Reilly Factor to scholarly publications such as The Journal of Marriage and Family. On the 10th anniversary of that groundbreaking book, Cook began revising and expanding his work. The result is this second edition—a disturbing look at a trend that continues to increase. The new edition of Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence offers up-to-date data on the prevalence of intimate partner violence against men, incorporating personal interviews and cases drawn from the media. It also includes updates on law, legislation, court activity, social responses, police activity, support groups, batterer programs, and crisis intervention programs. The final chapter contains a detailed and specific description of needed reforms in the current approach to intimate partner violence, whether the victims are male or female.