Honoring Missed Motherhood

Millions of women in go through life hiding or denying feelings resulting from the loss of a pregnancy through miscarriage or abortion or the inability to conceive, or giving a child up for adoption or choosing not to have children. While these women may be considered to be outside the norm, this book reveals the radically different perspective that the majority of women have at least one experience of missed motherhood. Rather than being able to explore and express their feelings and receive the support they need to integrate the loss and create joyful lives, these women often suffer in silence, and so does the entire society. The authors use their own experiences of loss, choice and healing along with stories of twelve other women as a starting point for a much larger story. Their healing journeys are followed by specific steps that can be taken to create a culture of understanding and support so countless women can move out of the closet, grieve their losses, experience their wholeness and move into joy.

The absence of a child or loss of a pregnancy is a void and, frequently, a profound loss experienced as a failure, a lack, a shame, something that needs to be fixed or hidden, even when it is a choice. For the most part, there is no frame, no structure, no rituals, no celebration, no acknowledgment, often even no words. It has no name, no category. The pain, loneliness and awkwardness can be unimaginable until it happens to you.What if "not children" isn't really that unusual? What if the vast majority of women have had, are having, or will have some experience of what we call missed motherhood in their lifetime, whether or not they ever have children?Based on available statistics, it appears that is the case-that as many as 75% of women in America have had or will have one or more experiences of missed motherhood at some time in their lives through miscarriage, adoption, abortion, infertility or the choice to be childfree. This is a stunning percentage! If this is true, the experience of missed motherhood appears to be as common an experience as being a mother. As a society, we need to name and include missed motherhood as part of the cultural norm, to bring it out into the open and offer effective steps for grieving and healing that go beyond what each woman can accomplish on her own. When we do this, each of us can move forward in life with passion and enthusiasm.

Many women expect to become mothers but are childless through social rather than biological reasons - perhaps they haven't met the right person or they prioritised career or education earlier in life. Featuring international interviews by grief counsellor and researcher Lois Tonkin, this collection of first-person stories provides insight into the under-discussed situation of being childless by circumstance. Each story highlights the different aspects of being childless by circumstance, as women move through their 30s, 40s, and 50s, and beyond their ages of fertility. The book explores feelings of grief and loss, and also how women adapt positively to their changed life expectations, finding excitement in the alternative, rich and complex shapes their lives have taken.

Though one in four pregnancies ends in loss, miscarriage is shrouded in such secrecy and stigma that the woman who experiences it often feels deeply isolated, unsure how to process her grief. Her body seems to have betrayed her. Her confidence in the goodness of God is rattled. Her loved ones don't know what to say. Her heart is broken. She may feel guilty, ashamed, angry, depressed, confused, or alone. With vulnerability and tenderness, Adriel Booker shares her own experience of three consecutive miscarriages, as well as the stories of others. She tackles complex questions about faith and suffering with sensitivity and clarity, inviting women to a place of grace, honesty, and hope in the redemptive purposes of God without offering religious clichés and pat answers. She also shares specific, practical resources, such as ways to help guide children through grief, suggestions for memorializing your baby, and advice on pregnancy after loss, as well as a special section for dads and loved ones.

First you marry a man who does not want children. He cheats and you divorce him. Then you marry the love of your life and find out he does not want to have children with you either. The three he has are more than enough. Although you always wanted to be a mother, you decide he is worth the sacrifice, expecting to have a long happy life together. But that's not what happens. This is the story of how a woman becomes childless by marriage and how it affects every aspect of her life. This is the book of my heart, the one I had to write. Ever since I realized I was not going to have children, I have felt recurring grief and an emptiness in my heart. I am different from most women, but I have found that I am not alone. There are many of us childless women, and I think it's important to share our stories about what it's like when you don't have children in a world where most girls grow up to become mothers. I hope this book offers comfort to those who are childless and understanding to those who are not. If it makes you smile here and there, even better.

Close to one in four American women experience the silent grief of pregnancy loss. Loved Baby offers much-needed support to women in the middle of psychological and physiological grief as a result of losing an unborn child. In Loved Baby, author Sarah Philpott gently walks alongside women as they experience the misguided shame, isolation, and crushing despair that accompany the turmoil of loss. With brave vulnerability Sarah shares her own and others’ stories of loss, offering Christ-filled hope and support to women navigating grief. This fresh and compassionate devotional offers: · Real talk about loss · Christ-filled comfort · Tips to manage social media, reconnect with your partner, and nourish your soul · Knowledge that your child is in heaven · Strategies to walk through grief · Ways to memorialize your loss Whether your loss is recent or not, Loved Baby can be your companion as you move from the darkness of grief toward the light of hope.

Often our natural vitality and expansiveness are blocked by patterns of which we are not even fully aware. This book shows how to identify these patterns and take practical steps to stop constraining our lives. In this adventure, the authors bring lessons from work with thousands of people in different cultures, revealing how to go beyond the "negative love" syndrome and find our own power, wisdom and voice.

Discover how understanding God’s purpose and design can empower you to be the mother you long to be. No calling is greater, nobler, or more fulfilling than that motherhood. Every day, as we nurture our children, mothers influence eternal destiny as no one else can. Tragically, today’s culture minimizes the vital importance of a mother’s role. In The Mission of Motherhood, Sally Clarkson helps you rediscover the joy and fulfillment to be found in the strategic role to which God in all his wisdom has called you, for a purpose far greater than you can ever imagine.