How Civility Works

“[This] thoughtful meditation . . . begins an important conversation about how our discourse can be moral and robust without sacrificing truth or freedom.” —Dahlia Lithwick, Slate Is civility dead? Americans ask this question every election season, but their concern is hardly limited to political campaigns. Doubts about civility regularly arise in just about every aspect of American public life. Rudeness runs rampant. Our news media is saturated with aggressive bluster and vitriol. Our digital platforms teem with trolls and expressions of disrespect. Reflecting these conditions, surveys show that a significant majority of Americans believe we are living in an age of unusual anger and discord. Everywhere we look, there seems to be conflict and hostility, with shared respect and consideration nowhere to be found. In a country that encourages thick skins and speaking one’s mind, is civility even possible, let alone desirable? In How Civility Works, Keith J. Bybee elegantly explores the “crisis” in civility, looking closely at how civility intertwines with our long history of boorish behavior and the ongoing quest for pleasant company. Bybee argues that the very features that make civility ineffective and undesirable also point to civility’s power and appeal. Can we all get along? If we live by the contradictions on which civility depends, then yes, we can, and yes, we should. “[This] slim and artful treatise . . . suggest[s] we continue to fight for civility, but learn to think of it less romantically.” —The New York TimesBook Review “Keith Bybee has delved into the literature of civility and emerged with a clear-eyed and helpful account of politesse. Let us bow.” —Henry Alford, author of Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That? A Modern Guide to Manners “This important book shows us why pursuing [civility] is as necessary as it is difficult.” —John Inazu, Comment

Most people would agree that thoughtful behavior and common decency are in short supply, or simply forgotten in hurried lives of emails, cellphones, and multi-tasking. In Choosing Civility, P. M. Forni identifies the twenty-five rules that are most essential in connecting effectively and happily with others. In clear, witty, and, well...civilized language, Forni covers topics that include: * Think Twice Before Asking Favors * Give Constructive Criticism * Refrain from Idle Complaints * Respect Others' Opinions * Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame * Care for Your Guests * Accept and Give Praise Finally, Forni provides examples of how to put each rule into practice and so make life-and the lives of others-more enjoyable, companionable, and rewarding. Choosing Civility is a simple, practical, perfectly measured, and quietly magical handbook on the lost art of civility and compassion. “Insightful meditation on how changing the way we think can improve our daily lives. ... A deft exploration that urges us to think before speaking.” —Kirkus, Starred Review

"The most useful, well-written, and emotionally compelling business book I have read in years. I couldn't put it down." -- Robert I. Sutton, Stanford Professor and author of The No Asshole Rule "A must-read for every leader in their field." -- Daniel H. Pink, bestselling author of To Sell is Human Incivility is silently chipping away at people, organizations, and our economy. Slights, insensitivities, and rude behaviors can cut deeply. Moreover, incivility hijacks focus. Even if people want to perform well, they can't. Customers too are less likely to buy from a company with an employee who is perceived as rude. Ultimately, incivility cuts the bottom line. In Mastering Civility, Christine Porath shows how people can enhance their influence and effectiveness with civility. Combining scientific research with fascinating evidence from popular culture and fields such as neuroscience, medicine, and psychology, this book provides managers and employers with a much-needed wake-up call, while also reminding them of what they can do right now to improve the quality of their workplaces.

Two White House Social Secretaries offer “an essential guide for getting along and getting ahead in our world today…by treating others with civility and respect. Full of life lessons that are both timely and timeless, this is a book that will be devoured, bookmarked, and read over and over again” (John McCain, United States Senator). Former White House social secretaries Lea Berman, who worked for Laura and George Bush, and Jeremy Bernard, who worked for Michelle and Barack Obama, have learned valuable lessons about how to work with people from different walks of life. In Treating People Well, they share tips and advice from their own moments with celebrities, foreign leaders, and that most unpredictable of animals—the American politician. Valuable “guidance for finding success in both personal and professional relationships and navigating social settings with grace” (BookPage), this is not a book about old school etiquette. Berman and Bernard explain the things we all want to know, like how to walk into a roomful of strangers and make friends, what to do about a colleague who makes you dread work each day, and how to navigate the sometimes-treacherous waters of social media. Weaving “practical guidance into entertaining behind-the-scenes moments…their unique and rewarding insider’s view” (Publishers Weekly) provides tantalizing insights into the character of the first ladies and presidents they served, proving that social skills are learned behavior that anyone can acquire. Ultimately, “this warm and gracious little book treats readers well, entertaining them with stories of close calls, ruffled feathers, and comic misunderstandings as the White House each day attempts to carry through its social life” (The Wall Street Journal).

Re-civilize Life Online! PROVEN Conflict Management and Prevention for Social Media and the Web Ever seem like the Web is just one big screaming match? Ever feel like you’re refereeing a worldwide tantrum on YOUR social media sites, blogs, and online forums? That’s not good for your goals—or your sanity. Stop. Now. Step back. Take a breath. And solve the problem. Thought you couldn’t? You can: there are proven best practices for getting people to be civil online. Even when they disagree. Even if they’re complaining. You can avoid misunderstandings that lead to flame wars, and promote constructive conversation amongst those with strongly held views. And, finally, you can handle the people that just can’t be civilized. Today, these skills are flat-out imperative. Everyone who leads, curates, manages, or participates in online communities needs them. Andrea Weckerle hasn’t just compiled them: she’s created a 30-Day Action Plan for restoring civility to your corner of the digital world. This plan works—and not one moment too soon. Master the foundational skills you need to resolve and prevent conflict online Understand the dynamics of each online conflict, from procedural disputes to online lynch mobs Stay cool and effectively manage conflict in even the highest-pressure online environments Differentiate between what people say and what they really want Create a positive online footprint—or start cleaning up a negative image Recognize online troublemakers and strategize ways to handle them Manage your own anger—and, when necessary, express it online safely and productively Strategically manage others’ online hostility and frustration Limit risks to your organization’s online reputation due to actions it can’t control Draft and implement corporate social media policies that actually work

Presents fifty-two suggestions to bring civility back to everyday interaction.

From the #1 New York Times-bestselling author of The Lincoln Highway and A Gentleman in Moscow, a “sharply stylish” (Boston Globe) book about a young woman in post-Depression era New York who suddenly finds herself thrust into high society—now with over one million readers worldwide On the last night of 1937, twenty-five-year-old Katey Kontent is in a second-rate Greenwich Village jazz bar when Tinker Grey, a handsome banker, happens to sit down at the neighboring table. This chance encounter and its startling consequences propel Katey on a year-long journey into the upper echelons of New York society—where she will have little to rely upon other than a bracing wit and her own brand of cool nerve. With its sparkling depiction of New York’s social strata, its intricate imagery and themes, and its immensely appealing characters, Rules of Civility won the hearts of readers and critics alike.