How To Ask For And Get What You Want

FOREWORD BY BRENE BROWN and POSTSCRIPT FROM BRAIN PICKINGS CREATOR MARIA POPOVA Rock star, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED speaker Amanda Palmer knows all about asking. Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter. Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for-as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyzes their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of THE ART OF ASKING. Part manifesto, part revelation, this is the story of an artist struggling with the new rules of exchange in the twenty-first century, both on and off the Internet. THE ART OF ASKING will inspire readers to rethink their own ideas about asking, giving, art, and love.

In this clever book, bestselling author Richard Templar delivers a collection of principles, tactics and techniques that will make sure things always go your way, without you even having to ask. You’ll discover the secrets of being the kind of person who gets what they want, and the secrets of making it easy for people to say yes to you (sometimes without even realising they are doing it). And for those rare occasions where you really do have to ask, you’ll find priceless advice on exactly what to say and how to say it, so that you’ll definitely never have to ask twice.

From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together

From the authors of Women Don’t Ask, the groundbreaking book that revealed just how much women lose when they avoid negotiation, here is the action plan that women all over the country requested—a guide to negotiating anything effectively using strategies that feel comfortable to you as a woman. Whether it’s a raise, that overdue promotion, an exciting new assignment, or even extra help around the house, this four-phase program, backed by years of research and practical success, will show you how to recognize how much more you really deserve, maximize your bargaining power, develop the best strategy for your situation, and manage the reactions and emotions that may arise—on both sides. Guided step-by-step, you’ll learn how to draw on your special strengths to reach agreements that benefit everyone involved. This collaborative, problem-solving approach will propel you to new places both professionally and personally—and open doors you thought were closed.

SPEAK UP AND PERSUADE At some point in our lives, we’ve all experienced an injustice, large or small — a restaurant botching our lunch order or a boss who isn’t following the guidelines for workplace etiquette — and suffered in silence for fear of offending anyone. When we fail to speak up, however, we shortchange ourselves. Amy Fish encourages standing up for yourself (and others) by complaining effectively. Her suggestions will appeal to anyone who wants to speak up and isn’t sure where to start, including managers navigating workplace disputes, couples who argue about the same things over and over, and even someone with a friend with bad breath. Illustrating her points with funny real-life stories, Fish reveals pragmatic methods to redress grievances with civility, honesty, and fairness for everyone involved — whether you’re trying to right the wrongs of the world or just claim the french fries you ordered.

We’ve all experienced frustration asking for and getting what we want. It plays out regularly with our partners, children, employers, and businesses we patronize. Sometimes we don’t bother to ask for what we want, even when it’s perfectly reasonable, thinking it will create hard feelings or spark an argument. Often, it’s because we don’t think we can succeed in getting what we want. But nothing could be further from the truth. How to Ask for What You Want and Get It: Common Sense Tips That Work will help readers learn how to ask for what they want and get good results. It teaches them how to stay in the game by using the right words. It also shows how to build rapport by using positive body language. The more you know what makes people operate as they do, the better chance you’ll have of helping them see things your way. The most important aspect to negotiating anything is getting the other person on your side. That means the person you’re asking has to like and respect you enough to do what you want. Most of the advice in this book employs mindfulness techniques. The mindfulness movement helps people live in the moment, speak more effectively to one another, and settle problems peacefully.

Learn how to get everything you want with this motivational book from the #1 New York Times bestselling authors of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Anything is possible...if you dare to ask! Personal happiness. Creative fulfillment. Professional success. Freedom from fear—and a new promise of joy that's yours for the asking. We have the ability at our fingertips to achieve these things. It's the Aladdin Factor: the magical wellspring of confidence, desire—and the willingness to ask—that allows us to make wishes come true. Now bestselling motivational authors Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen introduce us to the Aladdin Factor—and help us put it into effect in our own lives. The Aladdin Factor helps us by pinpointing the major stumbling blocks to asking—and teaching simple techniques to overcome them. With inspirational stories about people who have succeeded by asking for what they want, this book shows us how to turn our lives around—no matter what kind of obstacles we face. And with this knowledge, we can reap the riches of a truly well-lived life—a treasure that comes not from an enchanted lamp, but from the heart.