How To Fart At School

The definitive guide to playing tricks in school Be the envy of your classmates and the talk of the staff room! This book contains tons of tricks that will crown you the pran-King (or Queen) of your school. School can be a be a dull place (unless you're a teacher's pet) so every now and then someone has to step up and break the tedium. Nothing improves a boring lesson like a well-timed fart--it's guaranteed to stimulate lively debate (whodunnit?) and may even signal an early break. This is the ultimate guide to practical jokes--designed to liven up your timetable and make you the hero of the classroom. There are 68 cunning tricks, each one carefully explained and given a difficulty rating, or kudos should you actually get away with it!

Nervous About the First Day of School? This cute and funny book about anxiety is completely jam packed with hilarity. Sometimes the best way to deal with fear is to laugh at it! First Day Farts helps children do exactly that with their first day of school jitters. Put your little one at ease with First Day Farts! THE #1 Funniest (and Cutest) Going Back to School Book What's Inside... Helps alleviate fear and anxiety for children 32 pages of beautifully illustrated full color humor makes the story come to life A quick and easy gift for kids ★ Get your order in today for a silly fun time! ★

Farts! Like it or not kids love books about farting and author Felix Fartbaum brings an hilarious new approach to the subject of noxious gas eruptions that children of all ages will just love! The Super Smelly Fart Dare Book is so much more than a list of fart noises and names for different fart types! As it name suggests this is a book that contains lots of help for kids so that they can use their own toxic odors to go out and prank the world! Take a look at the fun inside the book: Why Write A Fart Book? ( About Felix Fartbaum Jnr) Foods That Help Percolate The LOUDEST & STINKIEST Farts Understanding Fart SOS Your Fart Prank Ranking Guide Fart Dare #1- Kindergarten: "Pull MY Finger Revisited!" Fart Dare #2 - Fart Bombing Your Family At Peak Hour Fart Dare #3 - The Who Dunnit? Challenge Fart Dare #4 - SBD Sneak Up Fart Dare #5 - There Is Strength In Numbers FART WORD DICTIONARY While this book is fairly and squarely aimed at self reading kids in the 7-11 years category, children of all ages will enjoy sharing the hilarious tales troubles and dares of Felix Fartbaum when the book is read with an adult. Hit the orange Buy Now Button and start reading the fartabulous, fartastic adventures of Felix Fartbaum Jnr!"

"Stay tuned for further gassy exploits." - Booklist, starred review Jam-packed with potty humor, feats of bravery, and magical friendships, Fart Quest by bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrator Cam Kendell is perfect for every young hero looking for a wild adventure. After their masters are vaporized in a goblin battle gone bad, Fart, Pan, and Moxie—three lowly apprentices—decide to impersonate their mentors and pick up the mantle as heroes of the realm. But they need more than a fancy robe, magic staff, and book of magical beasts to be real heroes. They need a quest! So when The Great and Powerful Kevin puts out a call for help, seeking the coveted Golden Llama and its magical golden fart, young Fart and his friends jump at the chance and embark on a journey they were destined for. This title has Common Core connections.

Meet Benjamin Franklin as you’ve never met him before . . . This hilarious collection includes the Founding Father’s satirical writings on farting, adultery, and other irreverent subjects you won’t find in your history books. A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are “The Letter to a Royal Academy”; “On Choosing a Mistress”; “Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable”; and other jibes. Franklin’s irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.

You're on a date, sitting in math class, or just in a room full of people in a really quiet place and you feel the urge to pass gas. In an ideal world, you would be able to just run off and let the fart out of your system, but you may not always have the option. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is to hold in your fart to avoid embarrassment. So how do you do it?Have you ever suffered from gas during class or school? Remember that farting is not a sign of unhealthiness. It happens to everyone. Still, it's embarrassing. Follow these simple steps to try to cover up your fart. This book will answer your questions and show you the methods: How a fart works How to hold your fart for long periods of time How to stop your gut from making a whale sound from holding in a fart How to manage to fart when you start living together as a couple How to stop farting during sex ...and many more!

When Farts Had Colors is the story of 4th grader Lance Chance who hates Mondays. This particular Monday Lance's mom coaxes Lance to school with his favorite sandwiches and a 'wish-kiss'. On his way to school Lance is tormented by "the biggest, meanest 4th grader ever to stalk the halls of Alfonso Orr Elementary School. Merry Maddox. Bully Extraordinaire..."A legend" and her posse of mayhem, the Crazy M&Ms. If having to hand over his sandwiches and perform a certain humiliating act wasn't enough, Lance gets blamed by Merry Maddox for letting out a fart so horrible it forces the entire school to evacuate. Lance runs away from school and wishes that farts had colors. "Then everyone would have known it was Merry Maddox who sent out those heat seeking missiles of doom and destruction," thinks Lance. And just like that, Lance's wish comes true. Will Lance come up with a plan to expose Merry Maddox and reveal her true colors?

Grandmas fart. Teachers fart. Terrifying creatures fart. But . . . is there someone who DOESN’T fart? With sly humor, this fun picture book looks at a subject that’s sure to make children laugh: farting. With silent farts, farts like horns, and rainbow farts from unicorns, Almost Everybody Farts comically captures the gassy scene. And only one person insists she’s fart-free: MOM! But is she? Kids will insist on reading this rhyming story again and again. “A playful, punchy paean to the pervasive poot.” —Kirkus Reviews (Starred review)