I Only Say This Because I Love You

Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? In this illuminating book, Deborah Tannen, the linguist and and bestselling author of You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages —unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom. This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.

Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? Linguist Deborah Tannen reveals why talk among adult family members so often leads to arguments and hurt feelings. Learn to separate the word meaning, or 'message' from the heart meaning, or 'metamessage' - the unstated but powerful meaning that comes from the history of our relationships in the family, where our hopes for being understood and our experience of criticism can painfully meet. Using real conversations from the lives of real people, Tannen shows us how talk in a family is a high-wire act as we balance connection and power, struggling to get close without giving up our freedom. By helping us understand what conversations in the family really mean, she shows how to improve relationships with family members throughout our lives.

*A People Top 10 Book of 2018* The New York Times essayist and author of We Learn Nothing, Tim Kreider trains his singular power of observation on his (often befuddling) relationships with women. Psychologists have told him he’s a psychologist. Philosophers have told him he’s a philosopher. Religious groups have invited him to speak. He had a cult following as a cartoonist. But, above all else, Tim Kreider is an essayist—one whose deft prose, uncanny observations, dark humor, and emotional vulnerability have earned him deserved comparisons to David Sedaris, Sarah Vowell, and the late David Foster Wallace (who was himself a fan of Kreider’s humor). “Beautifully written, with just enough humor to balance his spikiness” (Booklist), I Wrote This Book Because I Love You focuses Tim’s unique perception and wit on his relationships with women—romantic, platonic, and the murky in-between. He talks about his difficulty finding lasting love and seeks to understand his commitment issues by tracking down the John Hopkins psychologist who tested him for a groundbreaking study on attachment when he was a toddler. He talks about his valued female friendships, one of which landed him on a circus train bound for Mexico. He talks about his time teaching young women at an upstate New York college, and the profound lessons they wound up teaching him. And in a hugely popular essay that originally appeared in The New York Times, he talks about his nineteen-year-old cat, wondering if it’s the most enduring relationship he’ll ever have. “In a style reminiscent of Orwell, E.B. White and David Sedaris” (The New York Times Book Review), each of these pieces is “heartbreaking, brutal, and hilarious” (Judd Apatow), and collectively they cement Kreider’s place among the best essayists working today.

A long time ago a wise man named Shaddai built a wonderful village for children to live in. He talked to them and sang for them and told them stories. He gave them everything they needed. And with his own hands Shaddai built a protective wall around their village, rock by rock. He did all of this for just one reason—because he loved them. One day Paladin, the village's most curious child, discovers something troubling about the wall. Something that makes him wonder about Shaddai's love. Could there be a mistake? Young Paladin is about to discover the answer. And when he does, he will come to understand just how deeply he is loved. And so will you. Everything God does for your children, He does because of love. He protects them. He listens to their prayers. He provides for their needs. He even gives warnings and sets boundaries—for no other reason than love. As an adult you already know this. Now your children can know it too through this captivating tale, which was first published in the award-winning children's bestseller Tell Me the Story. Let this timeless story of a curious boy's choice and a caring man's sacrificial response help you make the infinite love of their Heavenly Father as real to your kids as your own love. Because they need to understand about Him what you have already learned—that everything God does throughout our lives, He does for one reason only, and for the best reason of all: "Because I Love You."

From the author of New York Times bestseller You're Wearing That? this bestselling classic work draws upon groundbreaking research by an acclaimed sociolinguist to show that women and men live in different worlds, made of different words. Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.

A young woman holds her newborn son And looks at him lovingly. Softly she sings to him: "I'll love you forever I'll like you for always As long as I'm living My baby you'll be." So begins the story that has touched the hearts of millions worldwide. Since publication in l986, Love You Forever has sold more than 15 million copies in paperback and the regular hardcover edition (as well as hundreds of thousands of copies in Spanish and French). Firefly Books is proud to offer this sentimental favorite in a variety of editions and sizes: We offer a trade paper and laminated hardcover edition in a 8" x 8" size. In gift editions we carry: a slipcased edition (8 1/2" x 8 1/4"), with a laminated box and a cloth binding on the book and a 10" x 10" laminated hardcover with jacket. And a Big Book Edition, 16" x 16" with a trade paper binding.

What if we stopped avoiding the difficult people in our lives and committed to simply loving everybody? What happens when we give away love like we're made of it? In Everybody, Always, Bob Goff's joyful New York Times bestselling follow-up to Love Does, you'll discover the secret to living without fear, constraint, or worry. Bob teaches us that the path toward the outsized, unfettered, liberated existence we all long for is found in one simple truth: love people, even the difficult ones, without distinction and without limits. In Everybody, Always, Bob shows us the simple truths about life that have the power to shift our mindset forever: Jesus uses our blind spots to reveal himself to us It's easy to love kind, lovely, humble people, but you have to tackle fear in order to love people who are difficult What we do with our love will become the conversations we have with God Dark and scary places are filled with beautiful people who need our unconditional love Extravagant love has extraordinary power to change lives, including our own Driven by Bob's trademark storytelling, this book reveals the wisdom Bob learned--often the hard way--about what it means to love without inhibition, insecurity, or restriction. From finding the right friends to discovering the upside of failure, Everybody, Always points the way to embodying love by doing the unexpected, the intimidating, the seemingly impossible. Whether losing his shoes while skydiving solo or befriending a Ugandan witch doctor, Bob steps into life with a no-limits embrace of others that is as infectious as it is extraordinarily ordinary. Everybody, Always reveals how we can do the same.