I Will Not Kill Myself Olivia

First love never dies, but can depression bury it alive? Like most young adults, Jimmy Wharton is trying to carve out a happy, successful life for himself. It's hard enough to do under any circumstances, but when he starts suffering from depression, becoming the person he wants to be feels overwhelmingly unachievable, as his illness seems destined to shatter his world. Olivia, Jimmy's high school sweetheart and long-term girlfriend, initially tries to support him in every way she can. But as Jimmy spirals downwards, their relationship begins to break at the seams, and they are forced to face the devastating reality that as strong as they know their love is, the force of Jimmy's depression could be even stronger. Set against the backdrop of Sydney's iconic Manly Beach, "I Will Not Kill Myself, Olivia" is a tale about the intoxicating, heartbreaking, unforgettable experience of first love; about all the mistakes we make on the road to adulthood; and about an illness that afflicts 350 million people worldwide. You'll find this book appealing if: You're a fan of gritty, passionate love stories You want to relive the highs, the lows and the intoxicating rush that's unique to first love You're a young adult wanting to read about another young adult striving for the same things you are You're interested in understanding depression better; you suffer from depression yourself and you want to feel like you're not alone; or you want to see how you can better support a loved one with depression You're a parent of a young adult wanting to understand how easily your child can tumble into depression, and wanting to prepare yourself to be able to recognise the symptoms if they ever do (tragically, depression strikes about 20% of teens). You're unlikely to enjoy this book if you: Despise swearing Are put off by explicit sex scenes Are after a light-hearted story Editorial Reviews "Centred around Jimmy and Olivia's heartfelt, passionate and troubled love, I WILL NOT KILL MYSELF, OLIVIA is a painfully honest, authentic and provocative novel ... one that presents a mesmerising portrayal of the all-consuming force of depression that dominates the main character ... one that takes the reader on a highly emotional journey ... and one that achieves a perfect balance of emotions, action and drama." The Columbia Review "A modern day Romeo and Juliet - a powerful, heartwrenching story that takes you on an emotional rollercoaster ride as Jimmy and Olivia try to hang on desperately to love in the face of Jimmy's mounting depression." Nick Bleszynski, bestselling author "An explicitly realistic, absolutely intriguing and stunningly gritty novel ... one that snatches the reader's attention right from the start ... and one that provides fantastic food for thought for all young adults." Pacific Book Review "A romance story that tugs at the heart, and entices readers with pure raw emotion ... from steamy, unadulterated throes of passion to being tossed into the deepest, darkest depths of despair, Baker creates an immersive world for Jimmy and Olivia ... you will feel their love, experience their torment, and empathize with their pain." San Diego Book Review "While the protagonist's story can help people with depression to face their own problems and help non-sufferers understand the illness, I WILL NOT KILL MYSELF, OLIVIA will also appeal to a much broader audience - including young adults, who can view typical young adult behaviour from a different perspective; and parents, who after reading this book, may choose to become more attentive to their children." Portland Book Review "One of the most singularly powerful books about depression on the market." Midwest Book Review

It is November of 1907 in Araguari, Brazil, a newborn lustily cries in her father’s arms. As Maria, called Mariazinha when she is a child, begins to grow up, she wants nothing more than to disappear from her small town and life of poverty to meet new people and see different things. At the age of twelve, Maria gets her chance at a better life. She is offered a job as a nanny in Sao Paulo bids her family farewell, boards a train, and leaves Araguari forever. As she arrives in Sao Paulo’s majestic train station, Maria can hardly believe her eyes. Amazed at the town’s big homes with well-tended gardens, Maria meets her boss, Mrs. Aurea, and the children she will care for. As Maria tends to the children and grows more beautiful, she silently vows that one day, she too will have wealth and happiness without any idea that her destiny will come to match her dreams—that she will become Rosinha, a woman who would fall and rise again many times and who would be both a cabaret dancer suffering innumerable prejudices and an incredible figure still wandering through the memory of the people of Sao Pedro. The First Lady travels back in time to tell the fascinating life of a woman who must attempt to overcome an impoverished childhood and numerous struggles in order to realize her desires and experience one of the greatest loves ever.

A dazzling debut collection of raw and explosive poems about growing up in a sexist, sensationalized world, from a thrilling new feminist voice. i’m a good girl, bad girl, dream girl, sad girl girl next door sunbathing in the driveway i wanna be them all at once, i wanna be all the girls I’ve ever loved —from “Girl” Lauded for the power of her writing and having attracted an online fan base of millions for her extraordinary spoken-word performances, Olivia Gatwood now weaves together her own coming-of-age with an investigation into our culture’s romanticization of violence against women. At times blistering and riotous, at times soulful and exuberant, Life of the Party explores the boundary between what is real and what is imagined in a life saturated with fear. Gatwood asks, How does a girl grow into a woman in a world racked by violence? Where is the line between perpetrator and victim? In precise, searing language, she illustrates how what happens to our bodies can make us who we are. Praise for Life of the Party “Delicately devastating, this book will make us all ‘feel less alone in the dark.’ ”—Miel Bredouw, writer and comedian, Punch Up the Jam “Gatwood writes about the women who were forgotten and the men who got off too easy with an effortlessness and empathy and anger that yanked every emotion on the spectrum out of me. Imagine, we get to live in the age of Olivia Gatwood. Goddamn.”—Jamie Loftus, writer and comedian, Boss Whom Is Girl and The Bechdel Cast “I’ve read every poem in Life of the Party. I’ve read each of them more than once. In some parts of the book the spine is already breaking because I’ve spent so much time poring over it and losing hours in this world Olivia Gatwood has partly created, but partly just invited the reader to enter on their own, caution signs be damned. This book is enlightening, inspiring, igniting, and f***ing scary. I loved every word on every page with a ferocity that frightened me.”—Madeline Brewer, actress, The Handmaid’s Tale, Orange Is the New Black, and Cam

A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

In her latest book, The Pie Life, work life balance expert, Harvard MBA and radio host Samantha Ettus offers women a powerful but simple framework for balancing a successful career with a fulfilling personal life. Having worked with thousands of women over the past two decades, Ettus knows what it takes to sustain thriving personal and professional lives at the same time. With its unique combination of inspiring stories, motivational messages and practical solutions, The Pie Life will turn everything you know about work-life balance on its head. Soon you'll be baking up a lifestyle that is more satisfying, rich, and delicious than you ever thought possible.

Sixteen-year-old Mehreen is overwhelmed by her anxiety and depression, and she doesn't believe anyone in her life will understand if she tries to talk about it. She's been thinking about suicide for a while when she discovers a website called MementoMori.com. The site matches people with partners and assigns them a date on which to end their lives, together. Mehreen is partnered with Cara and Olivia, strangers dealing with their own struggles. But as the girls get to know one another in preparation for their "date of termination" they find themselves developing a strong bond—even becoming friends. For the first time, they're each able to share their darkest secrets with people who won't judge them. They realize that, with the right support systems, life is worth living after all. So they decide to abandon the suicide pact. Except the website won't let them stop. As their assigned "date of termination" draws nearer and MementoMori continues to manipulate them, the girls will have to rely on one another to survive. If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for free, confidential 24/7 support.