Kill Your Friends

AS the twentieth century breathes its very last, with Britpop at its zenith, twenty-seven-year-old A&R man Steven Stelfox is slashing and burning his way through London’s music industry. Blithely crisscrossing the globe in search of the next megahit—fueled by greed and inhuman quantities of cocaine—Stelfox freely indulges in an unending orgy of self-gratification. But the industry is changing fast and the hits are drying up, and the only way he’s going to salvage his sagging career is by taking the idea of “cutthroat” to murderous new levels.

If you suspected your best friend, the person you were closest to in the whole world, was a murderer, what would you do? Would you confront her? Would you help keep her secret? Or would you begin to feel afraid? Most importantly, why don't you feel safe now that she's dead? From the author of The French Girl comes a novel full of secrets, suspense, and deadly twists. Georgie, Lissa, and Bronwyn have been inseparable since dominating their college swim team; swimming has always been an escape from their own problems, but now their shared passion has turned deadly. How can it be true that Lissa, the strongest swimmer they know, drowned? Granted, there is something strange about Kanu Cove, where Lissa was last seen, swimming off the coast of the fabulous island resort she owned with her husband. Lissa’s closest friends gather at the resort to honor her life, but Georgie and Bron can’t seem to stop looking over their shoulders. Danger lurks beneath the surface of the crystal-clear water, and even their luxurious private villas can’t help them feel safe. As the weather turns ominous, trapping the funeral guests together on the island, nobody knows who they can trust. Lissa’s death was only the beginning....

Imagine the look on your neighbor's faces when they see you reading this book! If you're really looking for the top 10 ways to kill your neighbors, stop what you're doing and seek psychiatric help immediately. For the rest of you, bring some dark, humorous comedy to your day! This book is all about the reaction you get when people see it sitting on your desk or witness you actually reading it. Take it on a trip. Chill out with it on the porch. The creative possibilities of being seen with this book are endless! There is a funny little story within the book, but that's secondary to the response you'll get when people catch a glimpse of you with this. Great for a practical joke or some light hearted black humor, this prank book will surely bring a demented smile to the faces of those who share the same sick sense of humor as you. Also makes a great gag gift for friends, relatives, white elephant, all that kind of stuff! Sick fun for everyone!

_____________________ The long-awaited sequel to KILL YOUR FRIENDS A Guardian Book of the Year 2018 It is 2017 – the time of Trump, Brexit and fake news. And time for the return of Steven Stelfox, former A&R man who made his millions from a hit reality TV show. Now Stelfox works occasionally as a music industry ‘consultant’. A fixer. He’s had a call from his old friend James Trellick, president of one of the largest record companies in America. Trellick has a huge problem on his hands in the shape of... Lucius Du Pre. Once the biggest pop star on earth. Now he’s a helpless junkie, a prolific sexual predator, and massively in debt to Trellick’s record company. And the picture only gets bleaker when the parents of one of Du Pre’s ‘special friends’ begin blackmailing him. Enter Stelfox stage right. He’s the perfect man to find a way out of this nightmare, and to make a killing in the process. There’s no line he won’t cross. _____________________ ‘A banging action satirical thriller. But it’s also a proper novel about the Trumpian era, of the reality TV era, the fake news era. It’s managed to say a lot of things in a way that very few other novels are doing and in a very comedic way’ IRVINE WELSH 'A bruising triumph; Amis' MONEY for the Trump generation. What a monster he's created' IAN RANKIN ‘John Niven understands our era better than almost anyone’ DOUGLAS COUPLAND ‘A scabrously entertaining satire of what it is like to be rich and white in the land of the free if you are utterly depraved, “where money doesn’t just talk, or swear, it nukes”. ... There is a twisted poetry in Niven’s mastery of invective’ THE TIMES ‘Savagely, viciously witty, this frantic hymn to greed is filthy, frenetic and totally fabulous’ SUNDAY MIRROR ‘A full-throttle send up of toxic masculinity ... Niven at full tilt is always something to behold.’METRO

From the bestselling author of Kill Your Friends, a wildly funny look at the midlife crisis of a loveable rogue. “A high-octane novel of excess” (Ian Rankin). Irish novelist Kennedy Marr is a first rate bad boy. When he is not earning a fortune as one of Hollywood’s most sought after scriptwriters, he is drinking, insulting, and philandering his way through Los Angeles, ‘successfully debunking the myth that men are unable to multitask.’ He is loved by many women, but loathed by even more including ex-wives on both sides of the pond. Kennedy’s appetite for trouble is insatiable, but when he discovers that he owes 1.4 million dollars in back taxes, it seems his outrageous, hedonistic lifestyle may not be as sustainable as he thought. Forced to accept a teaching position at sleepy Deeping University, where his ex-wife and teenaged daughter now reside, Kennedy returns to England with a paper trail of tabloid headlines and scorned starlets hot on his bespoke heels. However, as he acclimatizes to the quaint campus Kennedy is forced to reconsider his laddish lifestyle. Incredible as it may seem, there might actually be a father and a teacher lurking inside this ‘preening, narcissistic, priapic sociopath’. “A sharp and knowing satire of the film industry, publishing and academia.” —The Guardian

THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER ‘I loved this book’ RICHARD OSMAN ‘Funny, sharp, dark and twisted’ JOJO MOYES ‘Chilling, but also laugh-out-loud funny. Another corker’ SUNDAY TELEGRAPH

Left to their own devices by their alcoholic mother, Ada and Sam cultivate an insular world into which they soon draw a third wheel—a pockmarked, limping wallflower named Dorrie. In the years spanning childhood to young adulthood, these three troubled girls learn to lean on each other completely, finding ways to fill each other up and tear each other down. But when a horrible accident upends their reality, they find they must decide whether to continue to foster their codependent cycle, or to break free, with or without each other’s aid.

Do you feel stuck in life, not knowing how to make it more successful? Do you wish to become more popular? Are you craving to earn more? Do you wish to expand your horizon, earn new clients and win people over with your ideas? How to Win Friends and Influence People is a well-researched and comprehensive guide that will help you through these everyday problems and make success look easier. You can learn to expand your social circle, polish your skill set, find ways to put forward your thoughts more clearly, and build mental strength to counter all hurdles that you may come across on the path to success. Having helped millions of readers from the world over achieve their goals, the clearly listed techniques and principles will be the answers to all your questions.