Loving Later Life

Is loving later life possible? In our youth-obsessed culture, nobody enjoys growing old. We normally fear our own aging and generally do not love old people -- they remind us that death is inescapable, the body frail, and social status transitory. In Loving Later Life Frits de Lange shows how an ethics of love can acknowledge and overcome this fear of aging and change our attitude toward the elderly. De Lange reframes the biblical love command this way: “We must care for the aging other as we care for our own aging selves.” We can encourage positive self-love by embracing life as we age, taking good care of our own aging bodies, staying good friends with ourselves, and valuing the last season of life. When we cultivate this kind of self-love, we are released from our aversion to growing old and set free to care about others who are aging -- our parents, our relatives, and others in their final season of life.

“Winning [and] intelligent. . . . [An] impressive, often heartening addition to the literature of aging.” — Heller McAlpin, Wall Street Journal In this “unique blend of memoir and literary commentary” (Bookpage), acclaimed author and literary scholar Susan Gubar contemplates the beauty and strength of enduring love—both for her husband and for the literature that has shaped her life. Throughout the complications of devoted caregiving, her own ongoing cancer treatments, and a stressful move to a more manageable apartment, Gubar proves that love and desire have no expiration date—on the page or in life. Late-Life Love offers a resounding retort to ageist stereotypes, appraises the obstacles unique to senior couples, and celebrates second chances.

Is loving later life possible? In our youth-obsessed culture, nobody enjoys growing old. We normally fear our own aging and generally do not love old people -- they remind us that death is inescapable, the body frail, and social status transitory. In Loving Later Life Frits de Lange shows how an ethics of love can acknowledge and overcome this fear of aging and change our attitude toward the elderly. De Lange reframes the biblical love command this way: We must care for the aging other as we care for our own aging selves. We can encourage positive self-love by embracing life as we age, taking good care of our own aging bodies, staying good friends with ourselves, and valuing the last season of life. When we cultivate this kind of self-love, we are released from our aversion to growing old and set free to care about others who are aging -- our parents, our relatives, and others in their final season of life.

Contains interviews with more than twenty older couples about their partnerships and late-life romances.

From the Governor General’s Award winning author of Forms of Devotion, Our Lady of the Lost and Found and By the Book “Never once in my life had I dreamed of being in bed with a convicted killer.” For almost six turbulent years, award-winning writer Diane Schoemperlen was involved with a prison inmate serving a life sentence for second-degree murder. The relationship surprised no one more than her. How do you fall in love with a man with a violent past? How do you date someone who is in prison? This Is Not My Life is the story of the romance between Diane and Shane—how they met and fell in love, how they navigated passes and parole and the obstacles facing a long-term prisoner attempting to return to society, and how, eventually, things fell apart. While no relationship takes place in a vacuum, this is never more true than when that relationship is with a federal inmate. In this candid, often wry, sometimes disturbing memoir, Schoemperlen takes us inside this complex and difficult relationship as she journeys through the prison system with Shane. Not only did this relationship enlarge her capacity for both empathy and compassion, but it also forced her to more deeply examine herself.

“A beautifully written and well-researched cultural criticism as well as an honest memoir” (Los Angeles Review of Books) from the author of the popular New York Times essay, “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This,” explores the romantic myths we create and explains how they limit our ability to achieve and sustain intimacy. What really makes love last? Does love ever work the way we say it does in movies and books and Facebook posts? Or does obsessing over those love stories hurt our real-life relationships? When her parents divorced after a twenty-eight year marriage and her own ten-year relationship ended, those were the questions that Mandy Len Catron wanted to answer. In a series of candid, vulnerable, and wise essays that takes a closer look at what it means to love someone, be loved, and how we present our love to the world, “Catron melds science and emotion beautifully into a thoughtful and thought-provoking meditation” (Bookpage). She delves back to 1944, when her grandparents met in a coal mining town in Appalachia, to her own dating life as a professor in Vancouver. She uses biologists’ research into dopamine triggers to ask whether the need to love is an innate human drive. She uses literary theory to show why we prefer certain kinds of love stories. She urges us to question the unwritten scripts we follow in relationships and looks into where those scripts come from. And she tells the story of how she decided to test an experiment that she’d read about—where the goal was to create intimacy between strangers using a list of thirty-six questions—and ended up in the surreal situation of having millions of people following her brand-new relationship. “Perfect fodder for the romantic and the cynic in all of us” (Booklist), How to Fall in Love with Anyone flips the script on love. “Clear-eyed and full of heart, it is mandatory reading for anyone coping with—or curious about—the challenges of contemporary courtship” (The Toronto Star).

A new provocative love story from the New York Times bestselling author of All the Ugly and Wonderful Things. “The story of Zee and Gentry is the reason we read.” —Brunonia Barry Their journey will break them—or save them. A moving and complicated love story for our time, The Reckless Oath We Made redefines what it means to be heroic. Zee has never admitted to needing anybody. But she needs Gentry. Her tough exterior shelters a heart that’s loyal to the point of self-destruction, while autistic Gentry wears his heart on his sleeve, including his desire to protect Zee at all costs. When an abduction tears Zee’s family apart, she turns to Gentry—and sets in motion a journey and a love that will change their lives forever. “[A] mind-blowing book that has left me scrambling to pick up the pieces of my brain and my shattered heart . . . Prepare to have your mind and heart expanded to their limits.” —The Oklahoman