Mortified

Share the shame. In the days before blogs, teenagers recorded their lives with a pen in top-secret notebooks, usually emblazoned with an earnest, underlined plea to parents to keep away. Since 2002, David Nadelberg has tapped that vast wellspring of adolescent anguish in the stage show Mortified, in which grown men and women confront their past with firsthand tales of their first kiss, first puff, worst prom, fights with mom, life at bible camp, worst hand job, best mall job, and reasons they deserved to marry Simon LeBon. Following the same formula that has made the live show a beloved cult hit, Mortified the book takes real childhood journals and documents and edits the entries into captivating, comedic, and cathartic stories, introduced by their now older (and allegedly wiser) authors. From letters begging rescue from a hellish summer camp to catty locker notes about stuck-up classmates to obsessive love that borders on stalking, Mortified gives voice to the real -- and really pathetic -- hopes, fears, desires, and creative urgings that have united adolescents for generations.

Relive the angst. From starter girlfriends to escapist fantasies to delusional attempts to stand out amongst their peers, Mortified: Love Is a Battlefield revisits the boundlessly embarrassing topic of childhood love, uncovering priceless artifacts of authentic teen angst that tell of unrequited crushes, awkward hookups, odd celebrity infatuations, and all manner of romantic catastrophes. The now older (and allegedly wiser) authors of these letters, lyrics, and journals bravely share their shame in stories that range from sweetly hopeful to borderline psychotic. Everyone who ever obsessed over whether that guy or girl in algebra class liked them, or, y'know, liked them liked them, will relish this funny and touching valentine to our collective past

How Much Have YOU Changed Since Childhood?From the makers of the acclaimed Mortified podcast, stage show and documentary series, this interactive diary is part time machine, part confession booth. Discover how much you’ve changed (and haven’t) as you answer questions about your:• Love life• Family life• Best days• Worst days• Fears• Vices• Unfortunate fashion history (no, that Hypercolor shirt will never be cool again)• And beyond!With prompts that encourage you to compare your life THEN vs. NOW, My Mortified Life is a cathartic way to relive your past, reflect on your present and figure out whether you’re still the same wonderful weirdo you were back in the day.

A woman runs into her former abuser and is surprised by the power he still holds over her. In an attempt to uncover the truth of what happened between them, she recalls her adolescent self: a fourteen-year-old synchronized swimmer struggling to make sense of the world around her. Humorous and dark, Mortified explores sex, shame, and transformation and how we reckon with the traumatic experiences that have shaped us.

In the age of blogs and omnipresent social media, where is the line between laudable, cathartic honesty and oversharing? Maggie Kelly started her personal blog for one reason: to prevent her head from exploding with frustration. She is, frankly, tired of at-home motherhood and weary of her husband Michael's frequent absences due to his workaholic ways. She feels like a hostage to marriage and maternity. So when a friend suggests that she create an anonymous blog where she can complain to her heart's content and not have to hold anything back, "Maggie Has Had It" was born. After her controversial, raw and profane blog posts draw thousands of online readers, Maggie's blogging identity is inadvertently revealed. Michael is horrified to learn that his wife has written, in great detail, about his shortcomings as a husband and, mortifyingly, between the sheets. To make matters worse, it is his mother who tells him about his online humiliation. While many people have been embarrassed by unkind remarks that have been made about them from time to time, few have had those unflattering quips go viral in the way Michael's humiliation does. Mortification in 21st century fashion: via Google.

How far back in time will Mort go to avoid school? For 10,000 year-old Mortimer DeVere, and his sister Agnetha, the answer is: a very long way indeed. As far as the DeVere children are concerned, they have eaten their last soggy sandwich, handed in their last piece of homework and avoided their last bully. But thanks to the relentless School Inspector, Trish Molyneux, it looks like they will be making another appearance behind desks before too long. In a desperate bid for freedom, and with an angry Trish hot on their heels, Mort and Agnetha find themselves marooned in ancient Egypt along with a grumpy Queen Victoria, a nosy writer who believes in fairies, a hungry psycho crocodile, and a tunnel full of bloodthirsty mummies. Suddenly, school isn't looking quite so bad.