My Son Died How Do I Go On

A series of whimsical essays by the New York Times "Social Q's" columnist provides modern advice on navigating today's murky moral waters, sharing recommendations for such everyday situations as texting on the bus to splitting a dinner check.

This is a handbook for a parent looking at steps to recovering after the death of a child. One comment from a reader: "Poignant yet not burdensome. It is a spirited read exuding fragrance, a gentleness and is a soft uplifting hand to raise a parent as they watch their child euphorically fly towards the heavens" This book looks at the death of a child and a mothers coping mechanism. I wrote this book to help me understand what happened. It is a book that can comfort others who have lost family members in similar circumstances. It is also a book that can help people who havent lost a child to understand how to assist those who have.

First published in 1996. This new book gives voice to an emerging consensus among bereavement scholars that our understanding of the grief process needs to be expanded. The dominant 20th century model holds that the function of grief and mourning is to cut bonds with the deceased, thereby freeing the survivor to reinvest in new relationships in the present. Pathological grief has been defined in terms of holding on to the deceased. Close examination reveals that this model is based more on the cultural values of modernity than on any substantial data of what people actually do. Presenting data from several populations, 22 authors - among the most respected in their fields - demonstrate that the health resolution of grief enables one to maintain a continuing bond with the deceased. Despite cultural disapproval and lack of validation by professionals, survivors find places for the dead in their on-going lives and even in their communities. Such bonds are not denial: the deceased can provide resources for enriched functioning in the present. Chapters examine widows and widowers, bereaved children, parents and siblings, and a population previously excluded from bereavement research: adoptees and their birth parents. Bereavement in Japanese culture is also discussed, as are meanings and implications of this new model of grief. Opening new areas of research and scholarly dialogue, this work provides the basis for significant developments in clinical practice in the field.

When people die by suicide, they leave behind family and friends who suddenly find themselves mourning the person's loss and wondering what happened. This guide addresses many personal issues related to a death by suicide, including telling others, working through the grief, finding what helps people to heal, and grieving in children and youth. This Ontario guide also outlines practical things that need taking care of, such as arranging a funeral and dealing with the deceased's personal, legal and financial matters. A resource section lists organizations, websites and books that may help.

This book presents an integrated treatment approach for those struggling to adapt after the sudden, traumatic death of a loved one. The authors weave together evidence-based clinical strategies grounded in cutting-edge knowledge about both trauma and grief. The book offers a clear framework and many practical tools for building survivors' psychological and interpersonal resources, processing their trauma, and facilitating mourning. In a large-size format for easy photocopying, the book includes over 30 reproducible handouts. Purchasers can access a companion website to download and print these materials as well as supplemental handouts and a sample 25-session treatment plan. Winner (Second Place)--American Journal of Nursing Book of the Year Award, Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing Category

Whether a death is sudden or anticipated, losing a loved one shakes us to our very core, destroying our belief in a just, safe, and predictable world. Grief often changes us quickly both physically and mentally. It is like being kidnapped and suddenly transported to a foreign land without luggage, a passport, or the language to make sense of what's happening. Even if you have a road map for getting through the pain and anguish, you still have to take the trip. The purpose of this book is to help you find threads of hope that will assist your recovery and help you carry on. By sharing inspirational stories, personal experiences, and professional advice from contributors to theOpen to Hope website, we trust that you will be comforted and inspired by learning how others dealt with their losses, what they saw as roadblocks, and how they handled them as well as what it has taken for them to not only survive, but thrive. We want to help you resume leading the life that you were meant to live--a life of satisfaction and one driven by a belief in your own personal power for change.

After my son Joey passed away in June of 2000, I struggled to find any books that gave me concrete ideas of how I could help myself through my grieving process. Many family members and friends gifted me books, but they all told the same story. Have faith, cherish the wonderful memories and so on. Of course all good advice, just superficial. Then a few years after my son died, I happened to be at my hairdresser's, when a woman came in. I knew her through our sons' sports. I also knew that her oldest son had also passed away after Joey. It was getting close to Christmas, so I asked her if they were planning on putting up a tree. Her answer floored me! She had two other teenaged children at home. She shared with me that after her older son died, her surviving children wanted nothing to do with Christmas, no tree, no lights, nothing! So as my heart broke for her, I began telling her how I and my family celebrated our first Christmas after Joey died, and how that became a new tradition that continues through today. After listening to my story, this mom told me that I had helped her more in the last fifteen minutes, than anyone else had up to this point. That was my light bulb moment! And the spark to write my book was ignited. In the first few chapters of my book, I do recount the day my son died, his viewing and his funeral. I also discuss the many other issues that have to be dealt with during the months afterward. Although sad, I felt that this was an important part of my grieving process. But in the chapters that follow, I describe all the positive actions we took that helped us to go on. I discuss new found hobbies, seeking professional help, medium readings, and even the many beautiful signs I feel my son sends us to let us know he is alright. So in addition to a journey filled with very specific steps I and my family took to survive, it is also a story of my spiritual journey. So if you or anyone you know has lost a child or loved one, I am confident that some idea or story in my book will help them.

The death of a child is a special sorrow. No matter the circumstances, a child's death is a life-altering experience. Except for the child who dies suddenly and without forewarning, physicians, nurses, and other medical personnel usually play a central role in the lives of children who die and their families. At best, these professionals will exemplify "medicine with a heart." At worst, families' encounters with the health care system will leave them with enduring painful memories, anger, and regrets. When Children Die examines what we know about the needs of these children and their families, the extent to which such needs areâ€"and are notâ€"being met, and what can be done to provide more competent, compassionate, and consistent care. The book offers recommendations for involving child patients in treatment decisions, communicating with parents, strengthening the organization and delivery of services, developing support programs for bereaved families, improving public and private insurance, training health professionals, and more. It argues that taking these steps will improve the care of children who survive as well as those who do notâ€"and will likewise help all families who suffer with their seriously ill or injured child. Featuring illustrative case histories, the book discusses patterns of childhood death and explores the basic elements of physical, emotional, spiritual, and practical care for children and families experiencing a child's life-threatening illness or injury.