No More Perfect Marriages

“Many people say you can fix a broken marriage, but Mark and Jill show you how.” —Dr. Juli Slattery, psychologist, author, and president of Authentic Intimacy No marriage is perfect. But every marriage can get better. Do you feel like the spark is gone? Like a critical spirit has invaded your marriage? Like you want more intimacy, but something is in the way? You could be suffering from the Perfection Infection. The Perfection Infection happens when we cultivate unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our spouse, gradually leading to intimacy-killing behavior, also known as the “Seven Slow Fades.” That was the case for Jill and Mark Savage, and it eventually led to infidelity. In No More Perfect Marriages they speak honestly about their struggles, how they came back from betrayal, and the principles keeping their marriage strong today. They guide you in everything you need to know to kick the Perfection Infection right out and return to intimacy. In their warm, honest, personable style, Jill and Mark discuss: How the Perfection Infection invades a marriage—even a good marriage How to detect and correct the Seven Slow Fades How to set and communicate realistic expectations What to do if your spouse just won’t change How to guard your marriage from the Perfection Infection for good Hurting marriages can heal, and good marriages can become great. It takes work, yes, but No More Perfect Marriages will give you the insights, language, and roadmap you need for the journey. So start today. GROUP RESOURCES: A leader’s guide is included in the back of the book. FREE video curriculum and additional group resources are available for No More Perfect Marriages at www.NoMorePerfect.com. _____ “[Replaces] the Hollywood mirage of a storybook romance with a healthy blueprint of a real and rock-solid relationships. If you're looking for an authentic story, practical how-to, and hope to build true and lasting love, you've found it." — Michele Cushatt, author, Undone: A Story of Making Peace With An Unexpected Life “… Will empower readers to create healthier responses when facing marital challenges… Excited [to add it] to our recommended resources for couples." — Michelle Nietert, licensed counselor “Vulnerable, honest, and helpful… If you want to improve, save, restore, or renew your marriage, read this book.” — Mike Baker, sr. pastor, Eastview Christian Church, Normal, Illinois “Encouraging and very practical!” — Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher and bestselling author of For Women Only and For Men Only

No marriage is perfect. But every marriage can get better. No More Perfect Marriages is about having the right expectations and growing in love and grace. Guiding couples in the fundamentals of marital health, Jill and Mark share how they came back from infidelity and restored intimacy to their marriage. Read this book to guard against the seven "slow fades" that threaten every marriage, and get tools and tips for cultivating a stronger connection with your spouse.

If you have ever forgotten to pick up your kids, accidentally worn two different shoes to the grocery store, or lost your cool over a messy house, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! In No More Perfect Moms, Jill Savage says it how it is: All moms struggle. We fall short of our own standard of excellence, and then we feel insecure about not being the perfect wife with the perfect kids, perfect husband, perfect home, perfect friends, perfect marriage, and perfect body… Jill speaks to the root of the insecurities mothers feel and points to a better way. No More Perfect Moms will help a mom: Change her unrealistic expectations to realistic hopes Give grace and love to her husband and children even during struggles, and discover the beauty of grace when she stops judging herself and others Find freedom from disappointment when she embraces her real family, her real challenges, and her real, but imperfect, life With refreshing honesty, Jill exposes some of her own parental shortcomings and helps mothers everywhere shelve their desires for perfection and embrace God’s beautiful grace. When moms do this, they can learn to love their real but imperfect lives.

Love your kids for who they are. Mom and dad, your kids are created in God's image, not your own. Jill Savage and Kathy Koch will guide you in truly appreciating your kids. They will teach you how to study and become an expert on your children, because you cannot fully embrace them until you truly know them. In No More Perfect Kids, Jill Savage and Kathy Koch equip us with the tools and perspective to: Identify and remove the Perfection Infection from our parenting Release our children from unrealistic expectations Answer the questions our kids are silently asking in a way that gives them the courage and freedom to be themselves Meet the needs of our children, including those with special needs Written in a passionate, candid, and personal tone, the authors will instill within you hope and contentment. You'll be inspired to apply the practical, realistic, and relevant ideas and tactics Jill and Kathy share.

The American fixation with marriage, so prevalent in today's debates over marriage for same-sex couples, owes much of its intensity to a small group of reformers who introduced Americans to marriage counseling in the 1930s. Today, millions of couples seek help to save their marriages each year. Over the intervening decades, marriage counseling has powerfully promoted the idea that successful marriages are essential to both individuals' and the nation's well-being. Rebecca Davis reveals how couples and counselors transformed the ideal of the perfect marriage as they debated sexuality, childcare, mobility, wage earning, and autonomy, exposing both the fissures and aspirations of American society. From the economic dislocations of the Great Depression, to more recent debates over government-funded "Healthy Marriage" programs, counselors have responded to the shifting needs and goals of American couples. Tensions among personal fulfillment, career aims, religious identity, and socioeconomic status have coursed through the history of marriage and explain why the stakes in the institution are so fraught for the couples involved and for the communities to which they belong. Americans care deeply about marriages—their own and other people's—because they have made enormous investments of time, money, and emotion to improve their own relationships and because they believe that their personal decisions about whom to marry or whether to divorce extend far beyond themselves. This intriguing book tells the uniquely American story of a culture gripped with the hope that, with enough effort and the right guidance, more perfect marital unions are within our reach.

“After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now...”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages—from the “traditional” to the utterly nontraditional—and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try “lovehacks.” This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.

While observing trainers of exotic animals, journalist Amy Sutherland had an epiphany: What if she used their techniques with the human animals in her own life–specifically her dear husband, Scott? As Sutherland put training principles into action, she noticed that not only did her twelve-year-old marriage improve, but she herself became more optimistic and less judgmental. What started as a goofy experiment had such good results that Sutherland began using the training techniques with all the people in her life, including her mother, her friends, her students, even the clerk at the post office. Full of fun facts, fascinating insights, hilarious anecdotes, and practical tips, What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage reveals the biggest lesson Sutherland learned: The only animal you can truly change is yourself.

A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again.