Old Jews Telling Jokes

A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says, 'You know we have a drink named after you?' The grasshopper replies, 'You have a drink named Stanley?' Just one of the gags in this book, many of which explore Jewish themes.

A grasshopper walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender looked at him and said, “You know we have a drink named after you?” The grasshopper replied, “You have a drink named Stanley?” Schtick happens. For five thousand years, God’s chosen people have cornered the market on knee-slappers, zingers, and knock-knock jokes. Now Old Jews Telling Jokes mines mothers, fathers, bubbies, and zaydes for comic gelt. What we get are jokes that are funnier than a pie in the punim: Abie and Becky jokes; hilarious rabbi, doctor, and mohel tales; and those bits just for Mom (Q: What’s the difference between a Jewish mother and a Rottweiler? A: Eventually a Rottweiler will let go!). Some are just naughty and some are downright bawdy—but either way you’ll laugh till you plotz. With Borscht Belt gags from Brooklyn to Bel Air to Boca, Old Jews Telling Jokes is like chicken soup for your funny bone. I mean, would it kill you to laugh a little?

This is, quite simply, the most comprehensive collection of Jewish jokes, ever! The author has sourced over 1000 jokes and witty anecdotes that will have your sides splitting. With topics ranging from Rabbis to relationships; hairdressers to honeymoons; Bar Mitzvahs to bodybuilders; and from shopping, dating and in-laws to miracles, Viagra and chutzpah - and you don't have to be Jewish to enjoy them. This unique book also contains jokes for children, a compatability test for dating couples, humourous quips that can be used in speeches for special occasions, and a generous sprinkling of naughtier jokes.

"Humor is the most celebrated of all Jewish responses to modernity. In this book, Ruth Wisse evokes and applauds the genius of spontaneous Jewish joking--as well as the brilliance of comic masterworks by writers like Heinrich Heine, Sholem Aleichem, Isaac Babel, S. Y. Agnon, Isaac Bashevis Singer, and Philip Roth. At the same time, Wisse draws attention to the precarious conditions that call Jewish humor into being--and the price it may exact from its practitioners and audience"--

Two rival businessmen meet in the Warsaw train station. "Where are you going?" says the first man. "To Minsk," says the second. "To Minsk, eh? What a nerve you have! I know you're telling me you're going to Minsk because you want me to think that you're really going to Pinsk. But it so happens that I know you really are going to Minsk. So why are you lying to me?" Four men are walking in the desert. The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have a beer." The Italian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine." The Mexican says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have tequila." The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."

A grasshopper walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender looked at him and said, “You know we have a drink named after you?” The grasshopper replied, “You have a drink named Stanley?” Schtick happens. For five thousand years, God’s chosen people have cornered the market on knee-slappers, zingers, and knock-knock jokes. Now Old Jews Telling Jokes mines mothers, fathers, bubbies, and zaydes for comic gelt. What we get are jokes that are funnier than a pie in the punim: Abie and Becky jokes; hilarious rabbi, doctor, and mohel tales; and those bits just for Mom (Q: What’s the difference between a Jewish mother and a Rottweiler? A: Eventually a Rottweiler will let go!). Some are just naughty and some are downright bawdy—but either way you’ll laugh till you plotz. With Borscht Belt gags from Brooklyn to Bel Air to Boca, Old Jews Telling Jokes is like chicken soup for your funny bone. I mean, would it kill you to laugh a little?

'This book is funny, clever and, at times, heartbreaking. In other words, Jewish' David Baddiel '[Baum is] intellectually luminous, psychologically penetrating, existentially anxious, and wonderfully funny' Zadie Smith 'Hilarious and thought-provoking' David Schneider The Jewish joke is as old as Abraham, and like the Jews themselves it has wandered over the world, learned countless new languages, worked with a range of different materials, been performed in front of some pretty hostile crowds, but still retained its own distinctive identity. So what is it that animates the Jewish joke? Why are Jews so often thought of as 'funny'? And how old can a joke get? The Jewish Joke is a brilliant - and very funny - riff on Jewish jokes, about what marks them apart from other jokes, why they are important to Jewish identity and how they work. Ranging from self-deprecation to anti-Semitism, politics to sex, it looks at the past of Jewish joking and asks whether the Jewish joke has a future. With jokes from Amy Schumer, Lena Dunham and Jerry Seinfeld, as well as Freud and Marx (Groucho mostly), this is both a compendium and a commentary, light-hearted and deeply insightful.

Jewish humor has defined comedy in 20th-century America.