Raising Adopted Children Revised Edition

In this completely revised and updated edition of Raising Adopted Children, Lois Melina, editor of Adopted Child newsletter and the mother of two children by adoption, draws on the latest research in psychology, sociology, and medicine to guide parents through all stages of their child's development. Melina addresses the pressing adoption issues of today, such as open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption, and answers parents' most frequently asked questions, such as: How will my child "bond" or form attachments to me? When and how should I tell my child that he was adopted? What should schools be told about my child? Will adoption make adolescent upheavals more complicated? Up-to-date, sensitive, and clear, Raising Adopted Children is the definitive resource for all adoptive parents and concerned professionals.

When it debuted in 1986, Raising Adopted Children was the first book to look at the issues faced by adoptive families after a child comes home. Now, in this illuminating new edition, author Lois Ruskai Melina, mother of two children by adoption--frequently referred to as the "Dr. Spock for adoptive parents"--addresses the changes that have affected adoption over the past ten years and also offers her own ever-evolving wealth of knowledge. Drawing on research in child development, psychology, sociology, and medicine, readers will discover the facts about open adoption, prenatal drug exposure, and international and transracial adoptions, as well as the answers to such critical questions as: When and how should you tell your child that he or she is adopted? How do children bond or form attachments to their adoptive parents? Thought-provoking, informative, and helpful, this up-to-the-minute handbook is a must-have for every adoptive parent and parent-to-be. It is required reading at many adoption agencies.

Like Passages, this groundbreaking book uses the poignant, powerful voices of adoptees and adoptive parents to explore the experience of adoption and its lifelong effects. A major work, filled with astute analysis and moving truths.

A leading authority on adoption and an award-winning writer bring wisdom and clarity to situations important to all adoptive parents. Real Parents, Real Children goes beyond the question of when to tell children they are adopted with practical advice for parents on how to talk with their children about adoption - not just once but throughout childhood, adolescence, and into young adulthood - and how to help them through the rougher points of growing up adopted. Authors Holly van Gulden and Lisa Bartels-Rabb offer insight into how adopted children at each age commonly think and feel about being adopted. They also explain how and why adopted children grieve for their birth parents and suggest ways adoptive parents can help them come to a healthy resolution of this grief. For prospective parents, the authors discuss ways to prepare themselves and the child they are about to adopt for the new family union. Throughout, the special concerns and challenges of interracial, international, and older-child adoptions are also addressed. Though written with parents in mind, Real Parents, Real Children provides the clinical information that professional therapists, counselors, and placement workers must have if they are to truly be of help to adoptive families at every stage of their lives. Real Parents, Real Children fills a real gap in adoption literature and offers confidence and assurance as well as sought-after answers to lifelong question.

"Birthdays may be difficult for me." "I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family." "When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me." "I am afraid you will abandon me." The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents. Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.

Beyond Good Intentions is a book of essays about the joys and risks of raising children adopted internationally. Cheri Register examines ten pitfalls that well-meaning parents like herself can easily slip into: -- Wiping Away Our Children's Past -- Hovering Over Our Troubled Children -- Holding the Lid on Sorrow and Anger -- Parenting on the Defensive -- Believing Race Doesn't Matter -- Keeping Our Children Exotic -- Raising Our Children in Isolation -- Judging Our Country Superior -- Believing Adoption Saves Souls -- Appropriating Our Children's Heritage Each essay opens with an exaggerated version of something an adoptive parent might say, to prompt a fresh, intense look at practices so familiar they are seldom questioned, even though they may not serve the children's and the family's best interests. Register urges readers to bring their own experiences to bear in a candid conversation about internationally adoptive family life.

This comprehensive guide provides specific parenting strategies for the growing number of people who adopt children over two years old. Parents learn to identify their child's needs, meet such challenges as aggressive behavior and attention deficit disorder, and create a sense of belonging.

Adopted persons face challenges their entire lives as they struggle to answer the most basic question: Who am I? The hope of open adoption is that adopted children will develop stronger identities if they have the opportunity to develop healthy ongoing relationships with their families of origin. Making Room in Our Hearts offers an intimate look at how these relationships evolve over time, with real-life stories from families who have experienced open adoption first-hand. This book helps both adoptive and birth parents address their fears and concerns, while offering them the support to put the child’s psychological and spiritual needs at the center of adoption. Based on interviews with more than one hundred adopted children, birth and adoptive parents, extended families, professionals and experts, the book is an effective and invaluable resource for those considering open adoption, those experiencing it, and professionals in the field. Openness has altered the landscape of adoption, and Making Room in Our Hearts will help us catch up to the reality that is open adoption today.