Rules Britannia

How do you respond to a dinner invitation that says "Eight for eight thirty"? What might induce you to get off a London train at a place called Mud Chute? When is it okay to drive over a sleeping policeman? And why do teh Brits keep saying "Who's she, the cat's mother"? Rules, Britannia is an invaluable resource for Americans who want to make a smooth transition when visiting or relocating to the UK. This entertaining and practical insider's guide contains scores of established do's and dont's that only a Brit would know. Most of us know that an elevator is called a "lifet," a toilet is a "loo," and the trunk of your car is the "boot," but who would have a clue about a "sprog" or a "gobsmacked berk"? These phrases are part of daily conservation in the UK, and leave many visiting Americans as baffled as if they listening to a foreign language. Covering such essential topics as vocabulary, house- or "flat"-hunting, business culture, child rearing, and even relationship etiqutte, Rules, Britannia will ease the anxiety that comes with a transatlantic move or extended visit, and is sure to make any old Yank feel like a regular Joe Bloggs.

The year is 1597. For nearly a decade, the island of Britain has been under the rule of King Philip in the name of Spain. The citizenry live under an enforced curfew—and in fear of the Inquisition’s agents, who put heretics to the torch in public displays. And with Queen Elizabeth imprisoned in the Tower of London, the British have no symbol to unite them against the enemy who occupies their land. William Shakespeare has no interest in politics. His passion is writing for the theatre, where his words bring laughter and tears to a populace afraid to speak out against the tyranny of the Spanish crown. But now Shakespeare is given an opportunity to pen his greatest work—a drama that will incite the people of Britain to rise against their persecutors—and change the course of history.

What exactly does it mean to be British? Forget the official Citizenship Test, what do newcomers really need to understand to be part of this Great Nation? Does it involve wearing plastic Union Jack bowler hats? Perhaps sinking a tankard of ale? In these confused multicultural times it's difficult to know. Well, fear not, because Rules Britannia is here to answer the 101 Essential Questions of Britishness--from the straightforward ("What is the point of the Boat Race?") to the historical ("Why couldn't the Daleks conquer the universe?"); the metaphysical ("Who is the "one" who has been barred from "All Bar One"?") to the totally unfathomable ("Elizabeth Hurley. Explain."). Within the wisdom-packed pages of this seminal tome you'll also discover how Tim Henman can be both a hero and a villain, why a stiff upper-lip is treated as a source of pride rather than a facial condition, and why custard and gravy--the two key lubricants of a frankly limited cuisine--are locked in a yin-and-yang like struggle for dominance which neither can ever win. Written with an absurd, off-beat sense of humour, bestselling author Rohan Candappa both sends up and celebrates the Sceptered Isle. And, after all, what could be more British than an absurd, off-beat sense of humor?

Britain is at a cross-roads; from the economy, to the education system, to social mobility, Britain must learn the rules of the 21st century, or face a slide into mediocrity. Brittania Unchained travels around the world, exploring the nations that are triumphing in this new age, seeking lessons Britain must implement to carve out a bright future.

Things fall apart when empires crumble. This time, we think, things will be different. They are not. This time, we are told, we will become great again. We will not. In this new edition of the hugely successful Rule Britannia, Danny Dorling and Sally Tomlinson argue that the vote to leave the EU was the last gasp of the old empire working its way out of the British psyche. Fuelled by a misplaced nostalgia, the result was driven by a lack of knowledge of Britain's imperial history, by a profound anxiety about Britain's status today, and by a deeply unrealistic vision of our future.