Scapegoating In Families

Considers the multifaceted aspects of victims of scapegoating and their dysfunctional families. The author attempts to demonstrate that scapegoating is an intergenerational phenomenon and provides detailed clinical cases as examples of the complexity of family dynamics and human behaviour.

Patricia Jones, M.A. provides help, hope and advice for how to understand what scapegoating actually is and how to prevent this form of abuse from one's own family of origin, by removing yourself as their "target" and finally finding peace in your adult years. Patricia Jones, M.A. has written this book to those who have discovered that they are the Scapegoat in their families of origin and who as grown adults are still begin scapegoated by their families. The tactics used by these families are slander, lies, blaming, ostracizing the scapegoat, and a complete lack of love and respect, among other things. These toxic methods are so toxic, that their families will even slander the scapegoat to the other relatives and friends of the scapegoat so that it infiltrates their entire extended families and friends. Finding themselves in a "no win" situation with their narcissistic family members, they are desperate to find the answers to this puzzling dilemma and are searching for peace in their lives and a way to end this toxic treatment by their own families. Patricia Jones, M.A. is a therapist who was the scapegoat in her own family of origin and she has written this book as a witness and testimony revealing how she came to understand that there is an evil pattern of "narcissism and psychopathic traits" in these very dysfunctional family members that creates a favorite "golden child" sibling or siblings who can do no wrong, and the "targeted Scapegoat child" who is completely innocent and who does not deserve such unfounded and unjust treatment from their parents and siblings. As a counselor who has counseled hundreds of scapegoats from all over the world, Patricia Jones, M.A. has determined that being the Family Scapegoat has reached "epidemic levels" and is the cause of intense suffering for those "targeted" by their own families for such abuse. She reveals the "root cause" of how and why this is occurring and the solution to how to stop the generational cycle of abuse that occurs in these families. And finally Patricia Jones, M.A. gives hope and confidence to the scapegoated person, detailing how they are not the problem within their dysfunctional families, and never were. It is the narcissistic family members who are the problem and who have been "gas lighting" the scapegoat for their entire lives. She shows the scapegoat how to remove themselves permanently as the "family target" and to move on with their lives without guilt and remorse, and who then can begin to enjoy their lives and find the happiness that has eluded them for years and that they so deserve.

A self-help book based in science, the result of more than a decade of research, Daughter Detox offers the daughters of unloving mothers vital information, guidance, and real strategies for healing from childhood experiences, and building genuine self-esteem. Writer Peg Streep lays out seven distinct but interconnected stages on the path to reclaim your life from the effects of a toxic childhood: DISCOVERY, DISCERNMENT, DISTNGUISH, DISARM, RECLAIM, REDIRECT, and RECOVER. Each step is clearly explained, and richly detailed with the stories of other women, approaches drawn from psychology and other disciplines, and unique exercises. The book will help the reader tackle her own self-doubt and become consciously aware of how her mother's treatment continues to shape her behavior, even today. The message of the book is direct: What you experienced in childhood need not continue to hold you back in life. What was learned can be unlearned with effort. The book begins with DISCOVERY, opening up the reader's understanding of how she has been wounded and influenced by her mother's treatment. Recognizing the eight toxic maternal behaviors-dismissive, controlling, emotionally unavailable, unreliable, self-involved or narcissistic, combative, enmeshed, or role-reversed-lays the foundation for the daughter's awareness of how her way of looking at the world, connecting to others, and ability to manage stress were affected. DISCERNMENT delves into the patterns of relationship in her family of origin and how they played a part in her development, and then shifts to looking closely at how the daughter adapted to her treatment, either silencing or losing her true self in the process. Next up is DISTINGUISH, seeing how the behavioral patterns we learned in childhood animate all of our relationships in the present with lovers and spouses, relatives, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. The act of distinguishing allows us to see why so many of us end up in unsatisfying relationships, chose the wrong partners, or are unable to develop close friendships. Active recovery begins with DISARM as the daughter learns how to disconnect unconscious patterns of reaction and behavior and substitute actions that will foster the growth of self-esteem. Understanding the triggers that set us off, the cues that put us on the defensive, and the default positions of blaming ourselves and making excuses for other people's toxic behavior are addressed, as are unhealthy behaviors such as rumination, rejection sensitivity, and more. RECLAIM is the stage at which the reader begins to actively make new choices, preparing herself so that she can live the life she desires by seeing herself as having agency and being empowered. Making new choices and figuring out how to manage her relationship to her unloving or toxic mother is the focus of REDIRECT. There are stories to inspire and challenge your thinking, exercises that show you how to swap out self-criticism for self-compassion, guidance on how to use journaling as a tool of self-discovery and growth, and advice on goal setting.Finally, RECOVER challenges the reader to come up with a new definition of what it means to heal, suggests tools to overcome the obstacles she places in her own way, and strategies to become the best, most authentic version of herself.

BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Dr. Susan Forward's Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them. When you were a child... Did your parents tell you were bad or worthless? Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you? Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems? Were you frightened of your parents? Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret? Now that you are an adult... Do your parents still treat you as if you were a child? Do you have intense emotional or physical reactions after spending time with your parents? Do your parents control you with threats or guilt? Do they manipulate you with money? Do you feel that no matter what you do, it's never good enough for your parents? In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward drawn on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents -- and discover an exciting new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.

A highly illuminating examination of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and its insidiously traumatic impact on family members and partners. Packed with insight, compassion, and practical strategies for recovery, this is a must-read for survivors and clinicians alike. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has a profoundly dehumanizing effect on those subject to its distortions, manipulations, and rage. The Narcissist in Your Life illuminates the emotionally annihilating experience of narcissistic abuse in families and relationships, acknowledges the complex emotional and physical trauma that results, and assists survivors with compassionate, practical advice on the path of recovery. Whether you are just learning about NPD, managing a narcissistic parent or other family member, leaving a narcissistic relationship, or struggling with complex PTSD, you will find life-changing answers to these common questions: What are the different forms of NPD? Is my partner a narcissist? Why do I keep attracting narcissistic personalities? How can I help my kids? What happens in a narcissistic family? Why did my other parent go along with the abuse? Why am I alienated from my siblings? Why is it so hard to believe in myself and my future? What is complex PTSD and do I have it? What are the health problems associated with narcissistic abuse? Journalist, survivor, and NPD trauma coach Julie L. Hall provides a comprehensive, up-to-date, affirming, and accessible guide that will not only help you understand narcissistic abuse trauma, but will help you overcome trauma cycles and move forward with healing.

Do your relationships tend to follow the same destructive pattern? Do you feel trapped by your family's expectations of you? Does your life seem overwhelmingly governed by jealousy or competitiveness or lack of confidence? In this ground-breaking book, clinical psychologist Oliver James shows that it is the way we were cared for in the first six years of life that has a crucial effect on who we are and how we behave. Nurture, in effect, shapes our very nature. James combines the latest scientific research with fascinating interviews to show that understanding your past is the first step to controlling your present.

Are you an adult child of a narcissistic mother? Do you suspect your mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Caroline Foster, an experienced life coach, will lead you into a painful path of awareness, but she will also give you concrete advice on how to handle your toxic mother and change your life for the better. If you read this book: You will discover all the reasons why your childhood was so traumatic. You will learn how to handle your narcissistic mother. You will discover all of the dysfunctional beliefs and habits that you developed during your childhood. You will learn how to contrast Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms. The issue of toxic mothers undeniably challenges the status quo in various ways, but most certainly needs to be addressed. Adult children of narcissistic parents are often plagued with such an abundance of guilt and sense of deep obligation and shame that it causes them to feel duty-bound to keep whatever happened in the family secret, even when it is destroying their lives. It's really difficult to share your experience in this case, because narcissists, and especially a narcissistic mother, can be very good at creating the perfect family image for outsiders looking in. The solution is not forgiving or forgetting. You should understand your situation and work on your self-development in order to take back control of your life. Book Contents RECOGNIZING THE PROBLEM What is Pathological Narcissism Inside the Mind of a Narcissist Types of Narcissism Overt Grandiose Narcissism Covert Narcissism Narcissistic Strategies of Manipulation How the narcissist controls you Pathological Narcissists as Parents Signs of Narcissistic Parenting THE NARCISSISTIC MOTHER Enablers (enabler father) The Narcissistic Mother and The Roles She Chooses for Her Children Types of Narcissistic Mothers Narcissistic Mothers and Their Sons Narcissistic Mothers and their Daughters Effects of narcissistic abuse on Adult Children SOLUTIONS Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Mother How to Handle a Narcissistic Mother If You Live with Her No Contact with Narcissistic Mother Taking Back Your Power Move Out from Toxic Environment: Practical Tips Caring for Aging Narcissistic Mother HEALING Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) Emotional flashbacks Toxic Shame Self-abandonment Inner critic Social anxiety Self-healing Tips Even if you were born in the wrong place, and you grew up dealing with a narcissistic mother, you can leave the past behind and build a better future. It's never too late, let's start now!

This book is an important book for those who have discovered that they are the Family Scapegoats in their family of origin and who in their adulthood years find that the abuse they suffered as a child has continued into their adulthood where they are still being slandered, ostracized, and treated with a lack of love and respect by those very same families, who should be the ones who love them the most. They may also find themselves in an abusive marriage or relationship as adults. In fact, they may be a victim of domestic violence, suffering verbal, mental, emotional and even physical abuse and realize that they are being scapegoated all over again. Finding themselves in constant "no win" situations with their narcissistic family members they are desperate to find answers to this puzzling dilemma and are searching for peace in their lives from the constant abuse from their parents, siblings and other relatives who always blame them for all the problems within the family. Patricia Jones, M.A has written this book as a witness and testimony of being the Scapegoat in her own family of origin and how she came to understand that there is an "evil pattern of narcissism and psychopathological abuse" that creates a favorite "golden child" sibling and a scapegoated child within these dysfunctional families. This dynamic sets them up for abusive relationships later on in life. Patricia Jones, M.A. states: "If you are anything like me you have experienced some major challenges in your life. Looking back, I am very thankful for the challenges I have overcome. I learned a great deal from them and would like to share what I have learned with others who find themselves labeled as the "Family Scapegoat" in their own families. Patricia Jones, M.A. explains how those who are family scapegoats can remove themselves as the family "target" by once and for all realizing that the problems within their families are caused by their families not them. They discover that their family is very dysfunctional and that they are not the cause of all the relationship problems within the family, as they have been led to believe. With this realization a huge weight is lifted off their shoulders and they can finally continue on with their lives without guilt or remorse and find love and peace, sometimes for the first time in their lives. The "root cause" of how and why Family Scapegoats are created and the solution to how to stop the generational cycle of abuse that runs in these families is the main message of the book.