Scummy Mummies

‘Honest, gutsy and laugh out loud... Do your pelvic floor exercises before reading as you may pee your pants’ – Kathy Lette A celebration of parenting failures, hilarious confessions, fish fingers and wine! This is a book for anyone who’s ever dealt with a poo in the pool, cleaned up a sick in the supermarket, or gone to an important meeting without realising there’s weetabix stuck to their bum. Because let’s be honest – no matter how much we love our kids, or how good we are at parenting, everyone’s a Scummy Mummy sometimes.

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'Helen is the woman I want in my life when the shit hits the fan' - Bryony Gordon What do you do when your relationship suddenly ends? How do you cope when the cosy 'coupley' future you had planned disappears? Join comedian Helen Thorn from The Scummy Mummies as she haphazardly takes the plunge into single life for the first time in twenty-two years. Helen shares her own roller coaster journey from the initial shock of a surprise separation, the messy months hanging out in her PJs through to the highs of rediscovering online dating, tiny pants, rock-solid female friendships and the glorious joy of just being by herself. With the help of relationship experts and an army of women "who know", Get Divorced, Be Happy will show you that going it alone isn't the end, it is just the beginning, and you will come out the other side, stronger, happier and goddamn sassier than ever before.

Ideal for early years to KS1 children who are learning at home. Daisy Upton has two little kids. She loves them - but they drive her mad. So, to try and keep her sanity she started to come up with quick, easy games using stuff from around the house. And @FiveMinuteMum was born. In her first book, she has collected 150+ games that take 5 minutes to set up & 5 minutes to tidy up. From pasta posting to alphabet knock down, it's a recipe book for guilt free parenting! And as Daisy was a teaching assistant, your little ones will be learning while they play! What could be better? GIVE ME FIVE is the perfect companion for anyone who wants five minutes peace. Also available: Five Minute Mum: Time For School Five Minute Mum: On the Go "I love Five Minute Mum. She's managed to come up with a huge array of activities for kids that are fun and educational yet don't require an Art degree or Diploma in Patience to execute."Sarah Turner, aka Unmumsy Mum

"This ... guide to wine is the perfect accopmpaniment to a knackered mother's frantic life. ... The advice pairs well with a ... schedule of work, kids and grown-up time. On offer are reliable recommendations for Sunday roasts, wines to impress, sparkling wine for children's parties (because adults need something fizzy too) and post-bedtime decompresssion, as well as tips on what to offload on the school raffle."--Back cover.

** As seen on the Victoria Derbyshire show ** Providing you with everything you've ever wanted to know about pregnancy, this is the definitive guide from conception to the first few weeks' at home with your newborn *** 'I wish there'd been a book like this when I was pregnant. It almost makes me want to have another child. Almost' Bryony Gordon *** Your No Guilt Pregnancy Plan is a revolutionary new guide to pregnancy and childbirth that puts the power firmly in your hands. It won't tell you what fruit your baby resembles week-by-week, but it will cover the huge shifts happening in your relationships, body, work and emotional life right now, giving you practical tools, tips and real stories to help you make a plan that is uniquely yours yet flexible enough to accommodate whatever your pregnancy, birth and life throw at you. ***Further Praise for Your No Guilt Pregnancy Plan*** 'The book has everything a pregnant woman needs ... I'm sure this will be the go-to book for women in years to come' - Helen Thorn host of the Scummy Mummies podcast 'Rebecca is a living, breathing Wonder Woman heroine. In a sea of complicated, important and sometimes angry debate around childbirth, she is a mast to hold onto.' - Cherry Healey, presenter and author of Letters to My Fanny I can't think of a panicky question I had thought of through either of my pregnancies (and I thought of them at a rate of five per second) that wouldn't have been answered by this book. I wish I had had it, in fact. A very empowering guide to becoming a mother.' - Robyn Wilder, The Pool

'The working mum's version of Eddie Izzard's 50 marathons in 50 days. Hilarious.' Sally Phillips 'Absolutely hilarious' Jennifer Saunders 'Brilliant' Jo Brand 'An amazing book about stand-up that's also about love, determination and pursuing your dreams' Lucy Porter When is it too late to become the person you were meant to be? Viv Groskop is fed up, recession-scarred and pushing 40. She always wanted to be a stand-up comedian. But surely that's not advisable if you have three children, a mortgage and a husband who hates stand-up comedy? With no time to waste, she attempts the mother of all comedy marathons - 100 gigs in 100 nights. She laughs. Sometimes at her own jokes. Occasionally the audience laughs too. Often they don't. And she cries. Tears of joy, of misery and of profound self-loathing. This is an alarmingly specific and reckless experiment with a reassuringly universal and inspiring message. You CAN do what you want to do even if it's completely terrifying. You CAN try something new without giving up the day job. And you CAN go after what you really want in life without destroying everything around you. Well, not absolutely everything.

Barbara is in a very bad mood. She won't admit it, but she is. She has a problem with a sock, and at lunchtime there's a strange pea... And even though she's at the park with her friends, it all just gets a bit much. Suddenly Barbara's WOBBLER is out of control! But what if Barbara and her Wobbler can work together, so she can be cheerful again? A brilliantly funny and sensitive way to understand and deal with tantrums. "These are the most brilliant, beautiful and silly picture-books out there at the moment. Little doorways of joy." Caitlin Moran

A fantastic collection of funny, moving and outrageous confessions from people from all walks of life, chosen and introduced by popular digital creator and bestselling author Tova Leigh. "I was living with a nasty boyfriend who complained I didn't put enough pepper in his egg sandwich. So I dried out some hamster poop and chopped it into tiny pieces. He said it was delicious. Revenge is sweet!" Have you ever wondered what other people get up to when they think no one's looking? Do you have a mortifying secret of your own you've never dared share? Whatever scandalous incidents lie hidden in your past, don't worry: this wonderful collection of funny, sexy, hair-raising and heart-warming confessions will reassure you that you're by no means alone. These confessions have all been curated by bestselling author and digital creator Tova Leigh, who explains just why we should stop being ashamed of our secrets, and instead have the courage to make ourselves vulnerable, speak out and connect. In this ultimate page-turner, there are parenting confessions, sex confessions, workplace confessions, revenge confessions ... not forgetting the all-important bodily fluids confessions! You need never feel embarrassed by your own slip-ups and misdemeanours again. "So I was married for nine years and after the divorce, when I was ready to sleep with other men, I signed up on Tinder. After a few dates I was thinking ... why do I give it for free, when men will pay for it? So I became an escort! I did it for about five months and I must say I had the best time ever ... made a lot of money and met some really nice interesting people."