Secret Diary Of A Demented Housewife

When Susie's maiden aunt gives her a housekeeping journal, she expects Susie to use it for jotting down nutritious recipes and planning household budgets. But Susie has more important things on her mind ... ... Like how to keep sane while trying to control a four-year-old diva who thinks she's Judy Garland, as well as a thrill-seeking toddler with a death wish. Not to mention managing a demanding husband who expects a home-cooked meal at least once a fortnight and inconsiderate parents who seem to think luxury spa breaks are more important than spending time with their grandchildren. On top of that, there's the small matter of the Lone Father at the children's play group who is clearly smitten and Susie's passing interest in Posh'n'Becks, Wayne and Colleen, Brad'n'Jen'n'Angelina ... Susie's journal chronicles a hectic year in the life of a stay at home mother, whose one ambition is to possess an outfit that is free of snot stains.

Tina records in her diary the conditions of her everyday life as a housewife in New York City, with her nagging, climber of a husband Jonathan, and her two girls, aged nine and seven, who so completely take after him that Tina hardly recognizes them as her own. As a form of therapy, Tina begins a secret diary. The self-awareness she gains propels her into a new set of experiences, most notably, an extra-marital affair. She discovers that this man is as hateful as her husband, but she has good sex for the first time since her early married days, and it gets her out of the house one afternoon a week.

Before reading my private 'confessions'* please bear in mind the following: (1) My husband Joe and I are soul-mates. Nothing - including a smouldering lone father or Joe's teeny mid-life crisis - could ever come between us. (Hopefully he won't find out about smouldering Lone Father's sexed-up exposé of our secret 'affair' last year.) (2) Offspring Katie and Jack are well-adjusted and happy - even if Jack thinks he's a dog and Katie wants to be a Pussy Cat Doll. (3) VBF Louise makes new motherhood appear unnaturally glamorous. It simply isn't normal to fit back into size zero jeans so soon after giving birth - and I have the jelly belly to prove it. (4) I did not cynically engineer my close personal friendship with Celebrity Mom Angelica Law just to get invited to red carpet events. The whole newspaper-paparazzi-telly thing was NOT my fault - I can't help it if I've got star quality in bucket-loads, can I? *Note: The publisher 'borrowing' my diary and printing its contents does not amount to a confession. My arm had to be twisted very hard ...

This book maps the most active and vibrant period in the history of British women's writing. Examining changes and continuities in fiction, poetry, drama, and journalism, as well as women's engagement with a range of literary and popular genres, the essays in this volume highlight the range and diversity of women's writing since 1970.

A dystopian comedy with a difference. "e;Makes the Hunger Games look like Hungry Hippos. Makes 50 Shades of Grey look like Polyanna."e; The Bloomfield Review says, "e;Like an obnoxious spy-comedy seen through the eyes of a filthy drunk ... The language can be absurdly, almost heroically obscene."e; The TBR Pile says, "e;Bonkers. Weird. Surreal. Satirical. Politically incorrect. Clever. Absurd. Witty. Disgusting."e; It's debauched, depraved, delirious, delightful. Winner of the 2015 Lord of the Book Covers award.Joe Chambers is a CIA operative working in Dublin. Assigned to an agency-fronted publishing house, his problems include, but are not limited to, errant MI6 agents, insane profit-making schemes, a Francoist dwarf, and a tapeworm named Steve. He is an utterly reprehensible character, fond of submerging his head in a sink-full of whiskey and fantasising about brutally murdering irritating teenagers. He is, in other words, the perfect guide to this bizarre and repulsive journey into Dublin's gutters.Jay Spencer Green presents a twisted and exaggerated, but wholly recognisable vision of Dublin. A place of suicide bombings, mass canine culling in the Phoenix Park, "e;cheap Moore Street socks (35 euros for 6 pairs)"e;, online divorce, and enough red tape and bureaucracy to drive a man to murder. A place where "e;cat's cheese salad"e; and a dubious pork/human hybrid meat share the menu. It is a Dublin of no redemption. The whole book is a dig at a country that lost the run of itself in the good times, and just lost itself in the bad.A raucous mix of double crosses, brothels, triple crosses, and cocktail recipes, Breakfast at Cannibal Joe's is a dark, twisted, and picaresque tale that fans of Kurt Vonnegut, Hunter S. Thompson, and Joseph Heller will love.

What do you do when the love of your life turns out to be a good-for-nothing love rat? a) Pour your heart out to him in private letters that he'll never see? (Secretly you think it's a big fat waste of time but your therapist says it's the perfect way to express your inner rage and who are you to argue with science?) b) Pretend it's not happening and carry on? (The pressure to act normally will almost kill you of course - but it would be much worse if anyone ever suspected that your life was less than perfect.) c) Create a blog and tell the whole world about your problems? (You need advice and, if he won't listen to you, there are plenty of people out there who will. What harm can it do? Especially if you keep your identity top secret.) Three very different women have one thing in common - a good-for-nothing Casanova called Charlie. When he betrays them, they choose three very different ways to cope. But can they ever get over him? And will the love rat ever learn his lesson?

If you've ever dreamt of a new life in the country, this highly entertaining and candid account of country living might make you think again...