Self Within Marriage

Self Within Marriage combines the theoretical orientations of object-relations theory, self psychology, and systems theory as a way of understanding and working with couples and individuals whose relationship and emotional difficulties have centered on the common conundrum of balancing individuality and intimacy. Based on detailed case examples and couple therapy techniques, Self Within Marriage provides individual and couple therapists with a refreshing new framework for working with clients and for helping them understand who they are as individuals and as partners.

In the best-selling ScreamFree Parenting, Hal Runkel showed thousands of parents how focusing on themselves, in order to keep their cool, can revolutionize their family life. In his groundbreaking new book, The Self-Centered Marriage, Runkel now shows couples how learning to focus on themselves, in order to stay calm in the face of common marital conflicts, is the key to creating a deep, lifelong connection. Every committed couple strives to hold on to the marriage they envisioned back when they first said "I do"--before kids, mortgages, and all of life's inescapable issues seemed to get in the way. But the truth is this: conflict about these issues is unavoidable. What typically results are two spouses feeling forced to compromise themselves in order to just get along and keep it together. Eventually couples start "screaming" at each other--sometimes literally yelling out loud, sometimes shutting themselves down and shutting their partners out. In The Self-Centered Marriage, therapist and bestselling author Hal Runkel introduces some radical new concepts about marriage, teaching couples how to embrace their separate selves as a profound vehicle for strengthening a marriage. Every great marriage is a self-centered marriage because it's a bond between two whole, centered people. Calmly focusing on your own behavior, choices, and moods—which you can control—rather than your spouse’s—which you cannot—is the first step toward creating the relationship you really crave. Using accessible anecdotes and disarming humor, Runkel disproves prevailing marital wisdom and reveals a revolutionary path for spouses to be fully themselves, and fully married, at the same time.

“After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now...”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages—from the “traditional” to the utterly nontraditional—and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try “lovehacks.” This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.

Self Within Marriage combines the theoretical orientations of object-relations theory, self psychology, and systems theory as a way of understanding and working with couples and individuals whose relationship and emotional difficulties have centered on the common conundrum of balancing individuality and intimacy. Based on detailed case examples and couple therapy techniques, Self Within Marriage provides individual and couple therapists with a refreshing new framework for working with clients and for helping them understand who they are as individuals and as partners.

One of the most striking features of life in the Catholic Church today is the ever-widening gap between its official teaching on marriage and sexual morality and the practice of most of its lay members. The book seeks to bridge this gap in two ways: It considers some of the tacit assumptions about marriage and sexual morality in today's society, since these affect Catholics as much as everybody else. It also considers the Church's teaching in some of these areas and explores new ways of putting it across so that it can make sense to ordinary lay Catholics. In doing so the author draws on contemporary writing as well as bringing her own reflections and experience of living the Church's teaching to bear on the subject. The book is aimed at married couples, those considering marriage as well as clergy and those involved in marriage preparation and counselling. Anita Dowsing was born in Copenhagen in 1944. She was brought up as a member of Denmark's tiny Catholic community, but has spent most of her adult life in the United Kingdom. She has an M.A. in English Language and Literature from Copenhagen University, and a Ph.D. in Old English from the University of Wales. Anita Dowsing has spent most of her working life in Adult Religious Education in the Diocese of East Anglia as Co-ordinator of the Norwich Deanery Team, a member of the Diocesan Religious Education Commission and, currently, the Diocesan Marriage and Family Life Commission. She was a member of the East Anglia Steering Group for the Bishops' Conference of England and Wales 'Listening 2004' project (listening to family experience in every diocese), and was one of the facilitators at the Bishops Conference Working Group which produced resource material on marriage and family life for parish use. She is married with an adult daughter.

"Am I ever going to get married?"At one time or another, every woman has asked herself that question. Either Price Charming is running late, he's gone missing, or he has turned out to be an unemployed, unmotivated, video game addict who lives on your couch and needs a shower.With no Mr. Right around the corner, many women are asking themselves: If I'm such a great catch, why aren't I married? What they should be asking themselves instead is: If I'm such a great catch, why don't I marry myself? Self-marriage, or sologamy, is a new kind of lifestyle that is rapidly growing in popularity. This book answers all of your questions, such as: * Is self-marriage for real? * What's a self-marriage ceremony like?* Are there wedding vows? * Is there a honeymoon? * How do you romance yourself? * Do self-married people ever get divorced?Filled with personal stories, profiles, quotes from women who have married themselves, quizzes, statistics, and tons of writing exercises, this book serves as a complete guide on how to marry yourself. For everyone else, this book can explain one of the hottest new lifestyle trends - and why people are choosing to commit to the greatest partner they'll ever have: themselves.

Holding on in a loveless marriage. I want my boys' lives to be better than mine. Can I endure Javier's possessive behaviour to bring change for my family? Something keeps informing me of impending death. Why am I sensing such things? Spirituality is asking me to open up to it. Amazing, real dreams, so real that I feel the effect of the experience on waking. Was it a dream or was I there? Patterns in death and patterns in family behaviour being played out. Why are these patterns presenting themselves to me? Finally, achieving my independence and freedom. The last time I had freedom, it was taken from me in a matter of months. How long will it last this time?

Marriage always involves two flawed people living with each other in a fallen world. Yet many couples say “I do” with unrealistic expectations, leaving them unprepared for the day-to-day difficulties of married life. This unique book introduces a biblical and practical approach to dealing with the challenges of marriage that is rooted in God’s faithfulness and the Bible’s teaching on sin and grace. Outlining six practical commitments that give shape and momentum to a truly healthy and fulfilling union, this redesigned book will equip couples to develop thriving, grace-based marriages in all circumstances and seasons of their relationships.