Starship Titanic

From the minds of Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) and Terry Jones (Monty Python) comes Starship Titanic, the hilarious novelization of the third-best adventure game of 1999. Welcome on board the Starship Titanic. The Ship that Cannot Possibly Go Wrong. At the centre of the galaxy, a vast, unknown civilization is preparing for an event of epic proportions: the launch of the greatest, most gorgeous, most technologically advanced spaceship ever built – the Starship Titanic. An Earthling would see the ship as something really, really big, but rather less provincial onlookers would recognize it as the design of Leovinus, the galaxy’s most renowned architect. Before the launch Leovinus is having one last little look round and begins to find that things just aren’t right: poor workmanship, cybersystems out of control, robots walking into doors. How could this have happened? The following morning, while the galaxy’s media looks on, the fabulous ship eases away from the construction dock, picks up speed, sways a little, wobbles a bit, veers wildly and, just before it can do untold damage to everything around it, appears to undergo SMEF (Spontaneous Massive Existence Failure). In just ten seconds, the whole stupendous enterprise is over. And our story has just begun . . .

In this thoroughly satisfying and completely disorienting novel based on a story line by Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), Terry Jones recounts an unforgettable tale of intergalactic travel and mishap. The saga of "the ship that cannot possibly go wrong" sparkles with wit, danger, and confusion that will keep readers guessing which reality they are in and how, on earth, to find their way out again. At the center of the galaxy, a vast, unknown civilization is preparing for an event of epic proportions: the launching of the greatest, most gorgeous, most technologically advanced Starship ever built-the Starship Titanic. An earthling would see it as a mixture of the Chrysler Building, the tomb of Tutankhamen, and Venice. But less provincial onlookers would recognize it as the design of Leovinus, the galaxy's most renowned architect. He is an old man now, and the creation of the Starship Titanic is the pinnacle achievement of his twenty-year career. The night before the launch, Leovinus is prowling around the ship having a last little look. With mounting alarm he begins to find things are not right: unfinished workmanship, cybersystems not working correctly, robots colliding with doors. How could this have happened? And how could this have happened without his knowing? Something somewhere is terribly wrong. On the following day, in an artificial event staged for the media, the Starship Titanic will leave its construction dock under autopilot and, a few days later, make its way to the terminal to pick up passengers for its maiden voyage. Although the ship will be deserted during its very first flight, it is nevertheless a major event, watched by all the galaxy's media. Hugely, magnificently, the fabulous ship eases its way forward from the construction dock, picks up speed, sways a bit, wobbles a bit, veers wildly, and just before it can do massive damage to everything around it, appears to undergo SMEF (Spontaneous Massive Existence Failure). In just ten seconds, the whole, stupendous enterprise is over. And our story has just begun. Somehow three earthlings, one Blerontin journalist, a semideranged parrot, and a shipful of disoriented robots must overcome their differences. It's the only way to save the Starship Titanic ("The Ship That Cannot Possibly Go Wrong") from certain destruction and rescue the economy of an entire planet-not to mention to survive the latest threat, an attack by a swarm of hostile shipbuilders. . . .

October 1997 will witness a signal event--the launch of "Starship "Titanic"", the CD-ROM game created by Douglas Adams and the Digital Village. This book is the only strategy guide to the game millions of CD-ROM game lovers and Douglas Adams fans have been waiting for. 250 b&w computer images.

The Meaning of Liff has sold hundreds of thousands of copies since it was first published in 1983, and remains a much-loved humour classic. This edition has been revised and updated, and includes The Deeper Meaning of Liff, giving fresh appeal to Douglas Adams and John Lloyd's entertaining and witty dictionary. In life, there are hundreds of familiar experiences, feelings and objects for which no words exist, yet hundreds of strange words are idly loafing around on signposts, pointing at places. The Meaning of Liff connects the two. BERRIWILLOCK (n.) - An unknown workmate who writes 'All the best' on your leaving card. ELY (n.) - The first, tiniest inkling that something, somewhere has gone terribly wrong. GRIMBISTER (n.) - Large body of cars on a motorway all travelling at exactly the speed limit because one of them is a police car. KETTERING (n.) - The marks left on your bottom or thighs after sunbathing on a wickerwork chair. OCKLE (n.) - An electrical switch which appears to be off in both positions. WOKING (ptcpl.vb.) - Standing in the kitchen wondering what you came in here for.

Detective Dirk Gently investigates after a passenger at Heathrow airport erupts into a mysterious ball of flames. Mystery, hilarity, and the fantastical are combined in this title from the author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. -- HPL Readers Advisor.

In Life, the Universe and Everything, the third title in Douglas Adams' blockbusting sci-fi comedy series, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Arthur Dent finds himself enlisted to prevent a galactic war. This edition includes exclusive bonus material from the Douglas Adams archives, and an introduction by Simon Brett, producer of the original radio broadcast. Following a number of stunning catastrophes, which have involved him being alternately blown up and insulted in ever stranger regions of the Galaxy, Arthur Dent is surprised to find himself living in a cave on prehistoric Earth. However, just as he thinks that things cannot get possibly worse, they suddenly do. An eddy in the space-time continuum lands him, Ford Prefect, and their flying sofa in the middle of the cricket ground at Lord's, just two days before the world is due to be destroyed by the Vogons. Escaping the end of the world for a second time, Arthur, Ford, and their old friend Slartibartfast embark (reluctantly) on a mission to save the whole galaxy from fanatical robots. Not bad for a man in his dressing gown . . . Follow Arthur Dent's galactic (mis)adventures in the rest of the trilogy with five parts: So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, and Mostly Harmless.

A Best Book of 2022 by the New York Public Library • One of the Best SFF Books of 2022 (Gizmodo) • One of the Best SF Mysteries of 2022 (CrimeReads) • A GoodReads Choice Award finalist for Best Science Fiction! Titanic meets Event Horizon in this SF horror novel in which a woman and her crew board a decades-lost luxury cruiser and find the wreckage of a nightmare that hasn't yet ended. Claire Kovalik is days away from being unemployed—made obsolete—when her beacon repair crew picks up a strange distress signal. With nothing to lose and no desire to return to Earth, Claire and her team decide to investigate. What they find is shocking: the Aurora, a famous luxury spaceliner that vanished on its maiden tour of the solar system more than twenty years ago. A salvage claim like this could set Claire and her crew up for life. But a quick search of the ship reveals something isn’t right. Whispers in the dark. Flickers of movement. Messages scrawled in blood. Claire must fight to hold on to her sanity and find out what really happened on the Aurora before she and her crew meet the same ghastly fate. "Truly un-put-downable in its purest sense.” Chloe Gong, #1 New York Times bestselling author of These Violent Delights At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

From his adventures in The Treasure of Alpheus Winterborn teenager Anthony Monday returns to take on a storm of sorcery. Anthony can always count on his friend, sixty-eight-year-old librarian Miss Eells, to break up Hoosac’s hot summer days with some adventure or other, but this one takes the cake. On their way to get ice cream, they make a side trip to the abandoned mansion of the late J. K. Borkman, a once rich and weird eccentric who was obsessed with the weather. When Anthony finds a diary there, the pages seemed filled with the ramblings of a crazy old man, until Borkman’s son starts fixing up the dilapidated house—and the storms come. Hail, lightning, and dangerous winds descend upon Hoosac. And when Anthony and Miss Eells connect the wild weather to the diary, they uncover a diabolical plan, black magic, and a son more than willing to finish what his father started . . . “A wild, ghoulish plot . . . There’s a nice balance most of the way through between folksy charm and gently intense suspense.” —Kirkus Reviews “The atmosphere Bellairs creates is creepy and a little chilling . . . So, wait for a dark and stormy night, grab a blanket and a flashlight and enjoy this eerie mystery.” —SF Site “Fast, witty and intricate entertainment.” —Publishers Weekly “Pure Bellairs.” —School Library Journal