Staten Island Memoirs

Lost love haunts many as they age, but ; in Staten Island Memoirs, Paris. Polanski creates a ficticious love affair with a beautiful face from the past; he cannot forget; Paris has led a full life that lacks only one thing - the love of a beautiful woman he met 43 years ago. The woman in question is the real life equivalent to Helen, the central character in the novel, modeled after the Greek Goddess Helen of Troy. The story opens with Paris Polanski in his home in Grant City, Staten Island. Not being able to find his long lost love, Paris creates a work of fiction in which he recreates his life by falling in love with, marrying and becoming part of Helen’s life, thus showing just how far one man's obsession will go to remove the sorrow of lost love. The story then goes back in time and continues Paris Polanski as a young man, secretly in love with a nameless, beautiful young woman. Shy and lacking self esteem, he is unable to express his feelings for her, and loses her to another man. After serving in the US Navy, Paris attends a New York City college and during one of his classes, he dreams of his ideal woman in the image and likeness of Helen of Troy. A year later, Paris sees the same young woman, Helen Jones, a student at Wilson College. She is smart, beautiful, and popular, and comes from a wealthy family. Paris on the other hand comes from a middle class family, dresses poorly, and is not blessed with the social graces; Engaged to a handsome young Ivy League attorney, Helen learns he has been cheating, and ends the relationship.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • In these hilarious essays, the Saturday Night Live head writer and Weekend Update co-anchor learns how to take a beating. “I always wanted to punch his face before I read this book. Now I just want to kick him in the balls.”—Larry David NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY Cosmopolitan • Vulture • Parade If there’s one trait that makes someone well suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch—metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. From growing up in a family of firefighters on Staten Island to commuting three hours a day to high school and “seeing the sights” (like watching a Russian woman throw a stroller off the back of a ferry), to attending Harvard while Facebook was created, Jost shares how he has navigated the world like a slightly smarter Forrest Gump. You’ll also discover things about Jost that will surprise and confuse you, like how Jimmy Buffett saved his life, how Czech teenagers attacked him with potato salad, how an insect laid eggs inside his legs, and how he competed in a twenty-five-man match at WrestleMania (and almost won). You'll go behind the scenes at SNL and Weekend Update (where he's written some of the most memorable sketches and jokes of the past fifteen years). And you’ll experience the life of a touring stand-up comedian—from performing in rural college cafeterias at noon to opening for Dave Chappelle at Radio City Music Hall. For every accomplishment (hosting the Emmys), there is a setback (hosting the Emmys). And for every absurd moment (watching paramedics give CPR to a raccoon), there is an honest, emotional one (recounting his mother’s experience on the scene of the Twin Towers’ collapse on 9/11). Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy—with a face you can’t help but want to punch.

Sometimes people say and do things that just make you sit back and wonder. Well, this book is definitely three chapters of pure wonderment! It all begins innocently enough within the womb then guides you on a path of fifth grade laughter and hi-jinx. Each tale contains real life situations that will surely bring a smile to your face. In fact, they're almost therapeutic as they confirm the fact that yes, there is actually someone out there in the world more moronic than yourself! Now isn't that a comforting thought! Stories from childhood through high school, to a three-year stint with the United States navy, right up to present day, only proves one thing. That years and experience of life mean absolutely nothing if you can't look back on them and have yourself a good hearty laugh! Hopefully some of the stories within this book will help to stir up a few entertaining memories from your own past. Remember.. memories are the fuel powering our sanity! Welcome to Tommy's world!

The boots a passenger had on when his plane landed on the Hudson River. The tank top Andy Warhol’s assistant wore to one of their nightclub outings together. The jacket a taxi driver put on to feel safe as he worked the night shift. — These and over sixty other clothing-inspired narratives make up Worn in New York, the latest volume from New York Times bestselling author Emily Spivack. In these first-person accounts, contributors in and out of the public eye share surprising, personal, wild, poignant, and funny stories behind a piece of clothing that reminds them of a significant moment of their New York lives. Worn in New York offers a contemporary cultural history of the city—its changing identity, temper, and tone, and its irrepressible vitality—by paying tribute to these well-loved clothes and the people who wore them. Includes contributions from: Adam Horovitz Amy Heckerling Andre Royo Anna Sui Aubrey Plaza Catherine Opie Coco Rocha Dick Cavett Eileen Myles Fab 5 Freddy Gay Talese Genesis Breyer P-Orridge JD Samson Jenji Kohan Jenna Lyons Kyp Malone Lena Dunham Pee Wee Kirkland Thelma Golden Timothy Greenfield-Sanders