Stepmotherhood

If you’re one of the more than 15 million stepmothers in the country, you know the particular trials—and joys—of stepfamily dynamics today. You wonder if you’re doing the right thing and, as a stepmother, many of your specific questions are unique. In this second edition of Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked, journalist and stepmother Cherie Burns brings together countless insights and sound advice, based on the latest research and interviews with experts in the field (including dozens of other stepmoms), to answer questions such as: • How do you manage discipline when parents and stepparents disagree? • How can you help stepsiblings get along? • How do you handle birthdays, holidays, and weddings? • What’s the best way to get along with your stepchild’s mother? • When should you seek a therapist’s help? Burns’s wise and empathetic suggestions go beyond struggle, stigma, and compromise, showing how sensitive, informed stepmothers can take charge—and pride—in their role, becoming more effective and fulfilled.

You found the love of your life, and you vowed to have, to hold and to stepmother. You always thought that in time you'd grow to be the perfect, loving family. So why does it seem that the harder you try, the more unappreciated you feel? As a stepmother, therapist and founder of the popular Web site stepsforstepmothers.com, Dr. Rachelle Katz knows all too well how challenging stepmotherhood can be. Based on thousands of in-depth interviews and the latest research, she's created a powerful program to help you: * Alleviate stress and take care of yourself * Bond with your new family * Set and enforce clear boundaries * Get the respect you deserve * Strengthen your relationship

An honest and groundbreaking guide to understanding the complicated emotions that develop between stepmothers and children. When faced with often overwhelming challenges, what woman with stepchildren is unfamiliar with that “stepmonster” feeling? Half of all women in the United States will live with or marry a man with children. To guide women new to this role—and empower those who are struggling with it—Wednesday Martin draws upon her own experience as a stepmother. She's frank about the harrowing process of becoming a stepmother, she considers the myths and realities of being married to a man with children, and she counteracts the cultural notion that stepmothers are solely responsible for the problems that often develop. Along the way, she interviews other stepmothers and stepchildren and offers up fascinating insights from literature, anthropology, psychology, and evolutionary biology that explain the little-understood realities of this unique parent-child relationship and—in an unexpected twist—shows why the myth of the Wicked Stepmother is the single best tool for understanding who real stepmothers are and how they feel.

Every year more American women become stepmothers, just as Dorothy Bass did. In Stepmother, Bass explores the complicated, and oft-maligned, role. Brimming with practical insights from sociology, history, and clinical studies, Stepmother points readers to the central necessary work--the work done in our own heart--so we can find grace and peace.

Adoptive, foster and stepmothers, like biological mothers, find their lives completely changed by motherhood although they are not always granted the rights and privileges accorded to those who give birth. Barbara Waterman explores the common experiences that are shared by all those who enter the motherhood portal. She highlights the importance of wider family, community and professional support for non-biological parents and primary care-givers of both genders, and their children. A stepmother herself and a practicing psychologist, Waterman's writing is illustrated throughout with vignettes of children and parents from a range of backgrounds. She shows the important ways in which a non-biological attachment is both more similar to and more different from a biological attachment than is currently understood. In doing this, Waterman broadens the notion of the `traditional' family, and offers a positive alternative to the myth of the perfect mother. All kinds of step-, adoptive and foster families and those coming into contact with them will find this thoroughly researched and personal book an indispensable guide.

Most little girls grow up dreaming of being a mom, but hardly any of them dream of becoming a stepmom. Nevertheless, approximately one million new stepfamilies are created every year. It’s no secret, being a stepmother can be a living nightmare. But it can also be an enriching and rewarding experience—one that God can use to strengthen you, helping you survive and even thrive in the toughest job you never asked for. Written by two women who are stepmothers themselves—and know the difficulties of helping to raise someone else’s children—this book is filled with down-to-earth insights and advice for stepmothers from stepmothers. It also offers expert guidance from pastors and counselors on such issues as roles, expectations, realistic goals, organization, finances, holidays, vacations, relationships with stepchildren, negotiation, forgiveness, healing the past, building a strong marriage with stepchildren on the scene, dealing with in-laws and ex-spouses, sexual tensions in stepfamilies, health, depression, stress, and much more. While there is no magic formula to guarantee stepmother success, encouragement and practical wisdom are available in this much-needed resource.

You have an exciting, fulfilling job. You've fallen in love with the man of your dreams—and met his three kids! Now what? Jacquelyn B. Fletcher shows how any professional woman turned wife and instant stepmother can build on the skills she employs at work—organization, team-building, goal-setting, and planning—to succeed at home in her new role as stepmom. Drawing on the latest research, her own experiences, and those of other real-life stepmothers, Fletcher offers advice, hope, encouragement, and much-needed answers to common conundrums, including: Why don't I have control over my own schedule? What kind of relationship do I want with my stepkids? What if I want to have a baby of my own? How do we create a budget that feels fair if I make more money than my husband does? A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom is essential reading for the professional woman who has it all—and then suddenly has more than she expected.

This unique guidebook identifies and evaluates resources that will help stepparents understand and better respond to the important issues that arise when families combine.